Wikipedia:Peer review/Ryan White/archive1

Ryan White
Trying to possibly get this up to Featured Article status. I've been working on it long enough that I just need another set of eyeballs. This is sort of a tricky biography. Completely different than that of your typical historical figure, so I didn't know of a good structural model to follow. I haven't written the lead yet, but it will mirror all the major points of the article (I'll try to do it tomorrow). Also, I've sent image requests to his high school, the Ryan White Care Act, and to Ryanwhite.com, but no success yet. I'm reluctant to use a fair use claim, but I think the article suffers from not seeing a picture of him. --JayHenry 05:54, 11 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Oh, and yes I'm using a weird citation system. I'm just doing it during the article writing process, because it keeps things less cluttered for me.  I'll do the references properly before I submit to GA or FA.  With this peer review I'd just like to focus on the content and structure.  Cheers! --JayHenry 06:13, 11 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 00:21, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Good article. My only suggestion would perhaps be to include a few quotations from Ryan himself in there in order to expand the article a bit, especially since he wrote an autobiography. I might also consider giving some more general references to show how afraid people were of AIDS in those early years. I think that people forget about this. There are also a few missing words, but I am sure that you could find them by reading it through really carefully. Good luck.138.67.44.69 00:49, 18 September 2007 (UTC)