Wikipedia:Peer review/Salar de Pedernales/archive1

Salar de Pedernales


I've listed this article for peer review because I want to bring this up to GA status, but I am a little rusty and it was a quick-n-dirty effort.

Thanks, Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:03, 28 August 2023 (UTC)

Comments by Fritzmann2002
Morning Jo-Jo Eumerus, I'm not a regular at Peer Review, but I'll give the article a read and leave my comments below. Let me know if anything needs further explanation. Fritzmann (message me) 15:02, 28 September 2023 (UTC) Mostly done, except as noted. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * The biggest thing I notice after a first glance is a bit of over-referencing. It isn't egregious, but let's look at an example: "Salar de Pedernales lies in the Diego Almagro municipality [1], Chañaral province [2], Atacama Region of Chile.[3]" If source [1] says that it is found in the Diego Almagro municipality, then it can be inferred that is is also in Chanaral and Atacama, since the former is a subset of the latter. Thus, one reference would probably suffice for that sentence. As another minor thing, it helps readability if references are at the end of sentences, unless is is a strange circumstance or particularly contentious claim. I would go through the article and see if you can use some references to cover multiple claims in a sentence to reduce the over-referencing.
 * I think it's preferable if a is part of b type claims aren't being used. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Link Diego Almagro municipality to Diego de Almagro, Chile? Also is it the Diego Almagro municipality or Diego de municipality?
 * Instead of using "salar" I would use the term "salt flat", unless you state that salar is the Spanish word for salt flat
 * What is a "pinnacle"?
 * Hm, the same thing as in everyday speech? Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * What does it mean to be "zoned"? Is that an administrative term or an ecological one? Also link "halite"
 * Zoned in the sense with a belt-like structure. Changed links. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * "as Salar de Pedernales has been tilted to the northwest during the Quaternary" is a little bit unclear; I'm not sure exactly what this is trying to convey
 * That the entire area has been tilted northwestward. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * "The ponds reach radii of several metres" would be better to use "diameter" or "width"
 * Split the sentence starting with "seepage water from the salar" to reduce the ambiguity of the last "their"
 * "Central Andes as part of the Central Andean Pluvial Event", as part of or because of?
 * As part, since the pluvial event is defined by a wetter climate. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * What are the "pre-Andean basins"? Can they be "of the Andes" if they are "pre=Andean"?
 * They are geological depressions that were incorporated in the Andes. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * There is a lot of jargon in the Geology paragraph that makes it very hard for me as a layman to read it. Consider replacing some of these technical words with simple terms but retaining the wikilinks to their articles which have elaboration.
 * Yeah, geology is a technical subject, I'm afraid this can't be easily changed. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * After you first mention a measurement (like millimetres) you can abbreviate it every time thereafter (to mm) which will improve readability
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Make sure you use "–" instead of "-" for ranges
 * "Estimates of the evaporation of water have a wide range" state the range?
 * Afraid that it's uselessly wide, almost a factor of 10. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Why mention the birds in the text but relegate the mammals to the footnote? I do like how you handled the species with the note though, I will probably be stealing that in future articles of my own.
 * Birds are a much more important component of the fauna there than mammals. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:02, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
 * I would move the single image from the gallery section to the climate and life section