Wikipedia:Peer review/SanDisk Cruzer/archive1

SanDisk Cruzer

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I know it isn't the best article on Wikipedia but this article sounded like an ad and had a list that needed cleaning up so I attempted to fix it. I was wanting to know how much of the problem I had fixed and what else needed to be done to completely fix it.

Thanks, Geeky Malloy 21:33, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Peer review is usually for longer, more developed articles, but here are some suggestions for improvement. Thanks for your work on this so far and for cleaning it up: Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 04:15, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Article has no (zero) references. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. cite web and other cite templates may be helpful.
 * The lead should be expanded per WP:LEAD. One sentence is not enough.
 * The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way
 * A model article is often useful for ideas - there are several FAs on computers at Featured_articles
 * Article needs more links, which help to...
 * Provide context for the reader - explain what a flash drive is / does for those that do not know
 * Avoid jargon or explain it - what is U3 for example?
 * Watch out for peacock language - try to make the article more encyclopedic in tone. Generally the examples themsleves prove the point - Show, Don't Tell and WP:PEACOCK
 * Any data on reception - what have others said about these (reviews), what kind of sales have they had?