Wikipedia:Peer review/Sarazm/archive1

Sarazm
I've listed this article for peer review because it is my first article and I would like to improve it!

Thanks, Phelynx (talk) 10:06, 7 March 2019 (UTC)

Keep working on it. It's a good start, but some important information still needs to be included. Think about the types of questions that someone who is completely unfamiliar with the subject matter might be looking for. For example, the city is a UNESCO World Heritage site. but why? All the article says is "an archaeological site bearing testimony to the development of human settlements in Central Asia, from the 4th millennium BCE to the end of the 3rd millennium BC" and I don't find that until all the way to the end of the article, but it still isn't clear enough why it is clear in world history. What does that mean, anyway? Tell me why this is important. After you fill in important facts like that, you'll need to transform the article from its current form that seems like a fairly loose collection of cut-and-pasted facts into a coherent story or article. When you've turned it into more of a story, rewrite the lead to summarize the important points of what you've written in the rest of the article. I find that reading the article out loud helps me identify areas where the prose does not flow well. Keep at it! RecycledPixels (talk) 07:25, 12 March 2019 (UTC)