Wikipedia:Peer review/Scott Stevens/archive2

Scott Stevens
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to submit it to FAC. It's a GA, but it passed the first PR 2 years ago, and I don't want to rely on an oudated review for the article. Anthony (talk) 16:47, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Previous peer review

Some comments: Hope this helps! Resolute 19:28, 17 April 2010 (UTC)
 * As the article is about a Canadian athlete, it should be in Canadian English. Right now it mixes with American, i.e.: mixed use of defense and defence and centre and center.
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * International play and personal life sections require expanding
 * I'd like to see his playing stats tables in the same section and set to the same width
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * This is my personal opinion only, but I'm pushing a table format for the awards sections (see Theoren Fleury - also an example of how the stats should look, imo)
 * I'm sure his parents have names.
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Refer to Stevens using his last name. Using his first is too informal for an encyclopedia article
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The 1981–82 Kitchener Rangers were a team loaded with several future NHL players. - phrases like "were loaded with" is too informal.
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * "Stevens would go on to lead all rookie defencemen in scoring" Avoid mixed tense statements like this. "Stevens led all rookie defencemen in scoring."  Check for other instances of this
 * Fixed the named instance, will check for more later. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * "Although he only scored 25 points in his debut season, he made the All-Rookie Team." POVish and implies he did not deserve the All-Rookie nod. "He scored 25 points in his debut season and was named to the All-Rookie Team."
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * "Nowhere was this more obvious than the 1983–84 season, when Rod Langway won his second James Norris Memorial Trophy as best defenceman, Al Jensen and Pat Riggin combined to win the William Jennings Trophy for fewest goals allowed, and Doug Jarvis won the Frank J. Selke Trophy for best defensive forward. Bryan Murray won the Jack Adams Award for best coach as well.[11]" - None of this is particularly relevant to Stevens himself
 * Eight years in Washington should warrant more coverage of his play there.
 * I'm not seeing the controversy in his time in St. Louis. Certainly his being signed to an RFA offer sheet, and then being sent to New Jersey as compensation for another was unusual, but not precicely controversial.  I'd probably just title this section "St. Louis Blues".  You also overuse his last name a lot in this section.
 * Fixed. Anthony (talk) 18:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * "After the 1995 season was delayed due to an owners' lockout, the Devils were off to a slow start, winning only 9 of their first 24 games.[25] However, they managed to finish fifth in the conference to capture a playoff spot.[25]  After playoff victories over the Boston Bruins, Pittsburgh Penguins, and Philadelphia Flyers, the Devils faced the Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Finals,[25]  and shocked the hockey world by sweeping them for the franchise's first hockey championship.[25]" - too much focus on the team and use of words like "shocked" is POV.
 * The image needs Alt text, and if at all possible, an image of Stevens himself would be ideal. Perhaps if there is a photo of him on Flickr, you can ask the author to relicense it?