Wikipedia:Peer review/Seattle Mariners/archive1

Seattle Mariners
I'm hoping to get this article to good article status pretty soon, and I think it's almost there. I would appreciate any input anyone has. The article had some NPOV and lack of referencing issues in the past, but I think I've dealt with those; however, there may well still be instances of either or both that I and other editors have missed.

Thanks a lot for your time,

Elmer Clark 05:13, 28 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 14:45, 28 September 2007 (UTC)

A few comments

 * I think the quick facts section could be reworked. "Founded", "Playoff Appearances", and "Local Television" can be directly found elsewhere in the article.  I think the other facts could be worked into the article without having to resort to just listing them.  It kind of reminds me of a trivia section where random facts are just grouped together.
 * ✅ Facts that weren't already within the main body redistributed throughout and quick facts section removed entirely.


 * I don't think this statement should be included without a citation: "Many die-hard Mariners fans can still recite the Voice of the Mariners and game commentator Dave Niehaus' call on the play". Maybe find a better way to lead into the call.
 * ✅ Reworded, ref added


 * The listing of Mariners' radio stations seems excessive.
 * ✅ Split to List of Mariners Radio Network stations


 * The writing style in some sections could be improved. - Mattingly23 16:28, 28 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Could you elaborate a little? I'll give it a thorough look-over sometime today or tomorrow, but if there are any sections you found particularly poorly written, please let me know.
 * Thanks a lot for your comments. I think excising the station list and the quick facts section made a significant positive difference. -Elmer Clark 20:28, 4 October 2007 (UTC)