Wikipedia:Peer review/Sheriff Hill/archive3

Sheriff Hill
This peer review discussion has been closed.. This article has been PRed twice previously: once prior to GAN and once afterwards; and I hope that the issues raised in both have been dealt with. The article is a GA but I'd like, now I have some time free from work, to see if I can get this (finally) to FA but the last PR was last summer so I'd appreciate a fresh look so any issues can be ironed out prior to FAC. Thanks, Meetthefeebles (talk) 09:24, 6 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Previous peer review


 * Did the settlement have men with a Pals battalion in World War I? Was it severely affected by losses? Buckshot06 (talk) 22:22, 11 April 2012 (UTC)

I am told anecdotally by elderly residents that there was one (and that Hodkin Park was dug up and used as an allotment during both WWI and WWII) but I have found nothing in any reliable source to confirm or deny this, so I cannot say that they did here. There is very, very little material available relating to the settlement and both World Wars I'm afraid...Meetthefeebles (talk) 09:49, 12 April 2012 (UTC)

Comments The Rambling Man (talk) 15:38, 14 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Is "City" in "City of Durham" really capitalised?
 * Avoid linking common terms like "Park".
 * Any news from the 2011 census?
 * For FAC, most of the time the reviewers would expect to see no refs in the lead since everything should be expanded upon in the main article. Suggest you consider that.
 * Our article on "tinker" leaves it a little unclear as to which meaning you're referring to here.
 * Industrial Revolution is typically capitalised.
 * " was the regular haunt of" is a little colloquial to me.
 * " Gateshead Fell; itself a " comma, not semi-colon.
 * "Sheriff's March (Sheriff Hill)" the main article is just "Sheriff's March".
 * Be careful with over linking. I note Gateshead is linked section after section, is that really necessary?
 * " It is as a direct result of the "Sheriff's March"..." that sentence is unreferenced yet makes a claim which could (could) be disputed.
 * "Sodhouse Bank/Sheriff's Highway" first para is a single sentence, would consider merging.
 * "the historic city of Durham" is that really necessary, or is just "Durham" sufficient?
 * "High Fell- 2010 Local Elections" use a spaced en-dash rather than this oddly spaced hypen, and local elections are not proper nouns.
 * Neither is Name, Party, Votes or Cast.
 * "Durham to the north".[29] which " punctuation problem.
 * "254.5 miles (409.6 km) from London." no need to link London and that's a little bit too accurate for my liking, just stick to whole miles.
 * "Thomas Miles Richardson Sr." doesn't need that Sr.
 * Some people seem to have an aversion to galleries, I'm not sure why, but just a note in case it comes up at FAC.
 * In any case, if you have complete sentences, or more than one sentence in a caption, make sure they end in full stops.
 * "Neighbouring Settlements and Villages" too many capital letters here.
 * " of 5,051[45]- 53% of the population" en-dash, not a hyphen here.
 * "Sheriff Hill compared" I'd add a year for that in the title.
 * "A*-C" en-dash.
 * "1750-1925" ditto.
 * "playing a pivotal role" is there a ref for that?
 * "A surviving reference to Sheriff Hill's potting heritage at 124 Sheriffs Highway." no need for a full stop.
 * " two main shafts- Fanny Pit and" en-dash rather than the oddly spaced hyphen.
 * " (1926-present day)" en-dash, might even need to be a spaced one, check WP:DASH.
 * Don't think you need to link "supermarket".
 * "Sheriff Hill Asylum. Picture courtesy of Gateshead Council public archives" needs a final full stop.
 * " with barbed wire (or broken glass in places)[107] By 1903 " punctuation fail.
 * "8041" for consistency within the article, I'd say 8,041.
 * Same for 4111.
 * "emphasized" for now, BritEng says that should be emphasised.
 * "was rife- indeed" same old dash/hyphen comment.
 * "Thankfully" not encyclopedic.
 * "An additional ten minute break is provided for the youngest children at 2.40pm." not really the sort of trivial detail I expect to see in an encyclopaedic article.
 * OFSTED quote is far too much, just say how they were graded. It's borderline copyvio in any case.
 * The Upon in Newcastle upon Tyne is not capitalised.
 * The "and" in Scottish & Newcastle should be an ampersand.
 * "1-2 Southend Terrace" en-dash required.
 * I think the bus list is overkill as well.
 * "The No.28 stops at Sheriff's Highway" needs a full stop.
 * " is located 2.78 miles (4.47 km) away" far too accurate.
 * En-dashes for page ranges in the references.
 * No need to capitalise P of para in the refs.
 * Don't have bare URLs in the refs.
 * Is it No or No.?
 * Newcastle Evening Chronicle, for example, is a work, so should be in italics.
 * Don't mix date formats in the various reference sections.
 * Really, do you need ALL of those external links? I very much doubt it.