Wikipedia:Peer review/Shraddha Kapoor/archive2

Shraddha Kapoor
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because i suspect there are many errors since i am new to Wiki
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, S mauritius '' diR mWa!! 09:39, 7 December 2013 (UTC)

Comments by Neonchameleon

 * Being picky (my first attempt at Peer Review), the lede appears entirely without references (despite needing them - especially for the award, and you probably want to use the award she actually won) - and "several brands or products" - which ones?
 * Just as a drive by comment, the lead does not need references as long as the information is backed up elsewhere in the article, which the award is. Samwalton9 (talk) 15:12, 1 January 2014 (UTC)


 * The infobox uses three references to establish her date of birth.


 * Paragraph two (about her parents) appears disjoint and to not flow; you could jumble up the sentences and it would look neither better nor worse.


 * The career - what does "failed" mean with respect to the box office? Did poorly would be better.  And you need references for awards (or the same award again).


 * "Major box office triumph" - again feels like wp:Peacock - more balanced would be better - or figures.


 * Your second reference here ([23]) appears broken?


 * Hope some of that helped?