Wikipedia:Peer review/Six Flags Great America/archive1

Six Flags Great America


I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to bring this article up to B-class or possibly nominate it for GA status.

Thanks, from yours truly, Harobouri T • C 03:30, 13 September 2022 (UTC)

Comments from Z1720
Comments after a quick skim:


 * Lede should be expanded, considering how long the article is.
 * "1970s–1984: Development and operation under Marriott" is very long. Can it be split it with a new level 3 heading? Likewise, it has a lot of lists and I think it can be shortened to prose instead.
 * "Also in 2006, Six Flags announced it would replace its sign that sits along Interstate 94 during the off season. The sign, which had been standing since the park opened in 1976, was replaced with a smaller one featuring an LED screen. The new sign went up within a week after the old one was taken down in December 2006, and uses the old sign's post." Has a citation needed tag.
 * "Mardi Gras is connected to DC Universe and Orleans Place." Needs a citation
 * "DC Universe connects to Mardi Gras and Yukon Territory." needs a citation
 * "The area is located between County Fair and DC Universe, and has a connection to the Picnic Grove near the Wilderness Theater." Needs a citation
 * Ride descriptors in the charts need references.
 * Many other places do not have citations. Ensure there is a citation at the end of each paragraph.
 * "Former attractions" Need prose
 * "In popular culture" section: avoid one-sentence paragraphs and merge them together instead.

Hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 19:39, 2 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the comments, I'll work on this as soon as I get back home! (as I am on my school iPad as of this moment) Harbouri T (MAIN) • C (he/him) 18:15, 3 October 2022 (UTC)

Comments by Adog
I will add some suggestions once I get an initial read-through of the article. Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 15:26, 4 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Okay, thank you! Harobouri T • C (he/him) 20:55, 5 October 2022 (UTC)

These suggestions are ways to improve the article, hopefully not discouraging in nature. All the work you have done thus far is fantastic! Trying to improve a whole amusement park article is no easy feat and requires a lot of time and research (per my experience so far, spending tens of hours, maybe hundreds trying to improve Busch Gardens Tampa Bay). I would bet there are several problems with the amusement park article I am currently working on, and thus the peer review process is necessary. For reference, I would model the work done by fellow WP:APARKS member User:CR4ZE to the Warner Bros. Movie World article or look at other featured or good article-status amusement park articles in our project (Cedar Point). Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 04:47, 6 October 2022 (UTC)


 * The suggestions you have are great! I'll be working on them as soon as possible - and if you have more just ping me! Harobouri  T • C (he/him) 09:26, 6 October 2022 (UTC)

History

 * I would resize the images, so they are all the same size. A bit awkward when paragraphs are nudged together between images as well.
 * I would consider merging paragraphs, particularly ones that are 2 or 3 sentences long by themselves with relevant paragraphs by date or significance (limit to your standard essay 5 to 8 sentences, or 10 lines).
 * At its opening in 1976, Great America featured three roller coasters, Willard's Whizzer, originally named after Marriott executive J. Willard Marriott and later renamed simply the Whizzer, Turn of the Century, now re-themed and renamed Demon, and The Gulf Coaster, which lasted only one season, as it proved unpopular and suffered a small fire is a bit awkward for continuity. Would consider changing to Great America featured three roller coasters at its opening in 1976, which included Willard's Whizzer, Turn of the Century, and The Gulf Coaster. The latter details could be useful in each roller coaster article or in another part of the history section. I would also merge the paragraph with the next.
 * Same continuity issue with the paragraph starting: In Orleans Place, attractions in the area were Orleans Orbit... I would mention future events (closures, rethemes, replacements, relocations, etc.) to be placed in its historical chronological spot rather than summarizing all its history when it is first introduced. I would also look out for other historical continuity issues in the latter sections.
 * I do not think "Roaring Rapids" needs quotations.
 * The ride was removed in 1986[39] and sold to Rocky Point Amusement Park before reaching its final location at Geauga Lake as Mr. Hyde's Nasty Fall, where the ride was dismantled and scrapped in 2005 is a bit off topic for the amusement park article. The information would be better suited for the individual roller coaster article.
 * Suggest In operating the Six Flags chain, Bally found that the excess resources demanded by and high seasonal fluctuations of, the theme park business made it an unnecessary burden on its core interests to While operating the Six Flags chain, Bally found that the excess resources demanded and high seasonal fluctuations of the theme park business made it an unnecessary burden on its core interests.
 * Strike (sometimes also written as Shockwave or ShockWave).
 * Batman was unlike any other roller coaster at the time, as its trains rode below the track is a bit dubious, as there were several roller coasters with trains below the track already in operation. I would suggest changing it to mention it as one of the first inverted roller coasters?
 * Unless an incident or accident significantly contributed to the overall history of the park, I would omit these from said section and place them in a "Incidents and accidents" section per WP:APARKS/Standards. For example, In September 1997, a hitch bar connecting the third and fourth cars on the blue side of the American Eagle separated as the ride was braking, causing the rear two cars to bump into the front three cars. or An incident occurred on August 14, 2022, when unknown assailants shot three people in a drive-by shooting at the park's parking lot in a white sedan, with initial reports suggesting there was an active shooter inside the park.[151][152][153], or the finger print lawsuit.
 * The paragraph mentioning On V2, riders are launched at speeds over 70 mph (112 km/h) up a twisted vertical tower to The Déjà Vu from Great America was relocated to Silverwood Theme Park in Athol, Idaho, where it now operates as Aftershock is off-topic/unnecessary detail for amusement park article. It is fine for a roller coaster article.
 * Personal preference with the mentions of "coaster", I would change to the full "roller coaster".
 * I would veer away from starting a sentence with a date too often, such as In 2008, Great America added The Dark Knight Coaster, an indoor Mack wild mouse roller coaster themed after the film and located in Orleans Place. Instead, opting for Great America added The Dark Knight Coaster in 2008, an indoor Mack wild mouse roller coaster themed after the film and located in Orleans Place. It looks cleaner and flows better while reducing redundant "in...", "for...", or "on...".

Areas and attractions

 * I do not believe italics need to be used for the name of places. A bullet list is enough to identify titles. Would add a comma or punctuation mark after each bullet list item.
 * Missing refs for boxes and descriptions.
 * Remove punctuation from images, at alt descriptions if missing.
 * The subheader "Former attractions" can be removed with the main article linked under the subsection title for "Areas and attractions".

Annual events

 * 4 July was celebrated at the park... should be July 4 was celebrated at the park...
 * Many shows are also shown and featured during the event... strike "also shown and".
 * With the event comes food and drinks that are patriotic themed, that change... change to With the event comes food and drinks that are patriotic themed changed seasonally...
 * Strike Since 2021.
 * ...under the knife... would switch this descriptor out for another. Maybe During the event the park is decorated into several different "Scare Zones"...
 * Also note, Condor, the park's other flat ride actually runs different cycles during the event and is known as The Birds and The Pit to Condor, one of the park's flat rides, is renamed during the event as The Birds and The Pit and runs a different cycle.
 * Another facet of the event is the shows. omit for another descriptor.
 * has been to is.
 * It runs specifically... omit "specifically"
 * ... Six Flags Great America stayed open through the end of the year with a new event... omit "new".

Attendance

 * To reduce box usage, I would rewrite the Attendance section with prose as done with Warner Bros. Movie World. I would seek out attendance figures from the park's opening to the present as to provide an encompassing history of visitors and trends.

Records and awards

 * Same with the boxes here and awards. These can be prose.

Incidents and accidents

 * Add a section for said notable incidents or accidents that do not significantly contribute to the park's history but are important to note.

Comments from Adog (cont.)

 * Hey, could you tell me which ride descriptors need cites/better cites? Also, should I include cites for the thrill factors as well? Thank you! Harobouri T • C (he/him) 01:17, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Sure thing, so like on Warner Bros. Movie World, I would add an extra box to the end part of the rating system where you can insert all the references for the attractions. I think this method shows that the reference encompasses all the information in the line it is in, rather than just the ride description it appears to cite, if that makes sense. I did not fully notice there were references in all the boxes during my brief run-through of the article, but it seems that everything there is cited. For sources, I would rely on the obvious: reliable secondary sources, RCDB that can be verified, or the official website (where no sources can be found, use limitedly). A thrill factor may be useful, I will leave that up to you to determine. Adog  ( Talk ・ Cont ) 03:28, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Ah, I see. Thank you! Harobouri T • C (he/him) 03:38, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
 * I've promoted the article to B-class but I would like a second opinion from you whether if the article should stay C-class or be promoted to B-class. Thank you! Harobouri T • C (he/him) 11:36, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
 * I want to say its almost there for a B class. You have the information and sources, it seems to encompass almost or everything a reader may want to know. Of note to still complete that a GA reviewer would point out:
 * ALT text for images,
 * As User:Z1720, noted a longer lead,
 * The new sign went up within a week after the old one was taken down in December 2006, and uses the old sign's post still needs a citation,
 * One or two of the images near the "2000s: Rapid growth and expansion" subsection should be removed to avoid smushing text, also put some images on the right side,
 * Something I did not mention were the sources. I would try to de-capitalize words that are in all caps per WP:SHOUT. Try to remove ".com" (except for Newspapers.com) from sources. Remove unnecessary title add-on's such as Lady Bugs, which should just be Lady Bugs. Check whether sources are truly reliable, I did see a Coasterpedia source, which is not reliable. I am also unsure if enthusiast blogs are entirely reliable to source, and should be evaluated accordingly. For instance, it would be easy to cite BGT History in the article about Busch Gardens Tampa Bay, but I have noticed there are some flaws with this blogs research (such as using Twitter), and use it as a guide rather than a source. You will have to explain how these are reliable per our guidelines, if met by another reviewer.
 * Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 23:45, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
 * I’ll keep persistently trying to improve this article, but for now I’m bonked. Note I still cannot find a source for the sign and have asked APARKS and those on the talk page for help. Otherwise, I’ll fix these comments ASAP! Thanks, Harobouri T • C (he/him) 02:11, 9 October 2022 (UTC)
 * (<-) I’ve addressed half of the issues:


 * The sources you pointed out which mentioned the unnecessary add-ons were addressed and changed. Just a comment, though, these titles came with the automatic ref feature
 * I’ve changed some images around so hopefully text isn’t smooshed too much. I will get to alt text ASAP.
 * I’ve expanded the lead again to feature some brief history about Marriott’s operation, if helpful
 * I still cannot find a source for the signage. Again, I’ve brought this up to APARKs talk page and the article talk page, itself, so hopefully someone can find a reliable source.
 * Speaking about sources, again, I will find other reliable sources to replace the Blogger, Twitter and Coasterpedia (and any other unreliable sources) cites.

Thanks! Harobouri T • C (he/him)