Wikipedia:Peer review/Soilwork/archive1

Soilwork
I've listed this article for peer review because I have been working on it for about 2 months now, have turned it from a stub to atleast a B grade article and have added about 30+ sources (it now has exactly 40 sources, including interviews). I just want some feedback and maybe to get this to a GA/FA status.

Thanks,

-- Shatterzer0 02:50, 3 September 2007 (UTC)


 * The article's peer review has been listed at the Metal Project. LuciferMorgan 13:29, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

LuciferMorgan
Comments;


 * The release was well received and brought Soilwork to the forefront of the melodic death metal scene, alongside label mates In Flames.[8] - According to whom? Which critics praised the album, and which critics believe the album brought Soilwork to the forefront of the melodic death metal scene? LuciferMorgan 13:32, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * He would be replaced a week later by Richard Evensand.[14] - Future tense needs replacing. Possible alternatives are "He was replaced a week later by Richard Evensand", or "Richard Evensand replaced him a week later". LuciferMorgan 13:36, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * In early June, Henry Ranta would leave the band, to focus more on his personal life. - More unnecessary future tense, an "would leave" can be replaced with "left". LuciferMorgan 13:37, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Natural Born Chaos was released in early 2002, to much acclaim as well. - According to whom? Which critics acclaimed the album, and what did they say? LuciferMorgan 13:39, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Upon changing the band their name in late 1996 to Soilwork they began to make music more influenced by melody.[2] The article fails to mention why the band name was changed, and this has been mentioned in interviews. LuciferMorgan 13:40, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

J Milburn

 * The album names should always be italicised- that includes in the section titles. You've missed a few.
 * In the Stabbing the Drama section, the first instance of the album name isn't linked, but the second is. I'd switch them around, and preferably even mention the album name in the first sentence of the section.
 * The singles section- each single should have quote marks around them. "Song" from Album by Band.
 * The album will be released on October 19th on Nuclear Blast Records. Would be nice if there was a reference for this.
 * with Devin Townsend (Strapping Young Lad) Being a little tired, I read this as the author saying that Devin Townsend is a strapping young lad, which made me laugh. Perhaps with Devin Townsend (of Strapping Young Lad).
 * The band later pulled out of the Turkish dates, due to terrorist attacks and bombings that had recently occurred to tourists there. We may have a more specific article about this, but I can't find one in my 30 second search. May be worth looking for.
 * The logo lacks a fair use rationale- a quick-fail criteria for a GA candidate!
 * You talk about the chart positions of some of the albums in the prose, but then don't mention them in the discography section.
 * In September, Soilwork toured Japan with Children of Bodom[17] Merely days after a short mini-trek tour through Japan, Soilwork also toured Australia briefly.[18] You've missed a full-stop there.

Generally a great article- obviously, my comments are very minor things. I'll take another look when you have worked on mine and LuciferMorgan's suggestions. J Milburn 18:11, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

Cricket02

 * Agree with LM to recast sentences using the future tense "would", i.e. would give, would meet, would leave.


 * They also toured throughout the United States for the first time. First with bands Hypocrisy, Scar Culture and Killswitch Engage during the summer,[10] then alongside label mates In Flames during the fall.[11] The latter "sentence" is not a sentence - it contains no subject and no verb.  Would combine these two statements somehow or recast.


 * Lose red links - either create articles for them or unwikify.


 * The bass and vocal tracking was recorded at Studio Fredman, the same place the album was mixed at.[12] Redundant - why not say, ...was recorded and mixed at...


 * Merely days after a short mini-trek tour through Japan, Soilwork also toured Australia briefly.[18] "short" and mini-trek" are redudant.  Choose one or the other.  "also" is also redundant - would simply remove.


 * Later that year, they again toured North America with Chimaira, As I Lay Dying and Bleeding Through.[19] Fix link: [As I Lay Dying (band)|As I Lay Dying]
 * Agree with JMilburn that albums italicized, songs in quotes. See WP:MUSTARD


 * Section: Sworn to a Great Divide  - It is assumed that this all pertains to this year - but the year 2007 should be mentioned as this being an encyclopedia - this may be current information now, but will not always be.


 * Section: Session Members - there are some capitalization inconsistencies.


 * References: ref #6 needs a publisher (fourteeng.net), ref #7 needs a publisher (soilwork.com), ref #8 needs a publisher. This article relies pretty heavily on Blabbermouth.net - and all of those refs need publication dates.  Ref #29 - ^ Billboard albums. All Music Guide. Retrieved on 2007-07-23. Can be more specifiic as this pertains only to the album Stabbing the Drama.


 * I found the sentence structure to be rather short and choppy in areas. Otherwise, this article definately has potential.  Good work so far.  ♫ Cricket02 07:48, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

M3tal H3ad
Sworn to a Great Divide In early March, Soilwork began laying down the tracks for their seventh album, Sworn to a Great Divide. The last sentence of the section is the exact same as the firs sentence in this paragraph. I suggest remove the part in the previous paragraph. I'll add more later. M3tal H3ad 10:17, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * September 14th, there should be no 'th' just September 14
 * Consider adding years in the titles so we know what the period is for example 'Formative years - 1995-2000' as done in Slayer and Megadeth
 * In March 2007, Soilwork began work on their seventh album.
 * Don't wikilink solo years such as 1995 make it just 1995
 * of late 1970s, early 1980s British - There is no point in any of these wikilinks. The first two won't mention the band at all and the link to UK is pointless.
 * Upon changing the band their name in late 1996 to Soilwork - guessing you edited this sentence and left a word in there
 * to record their third full length album, A Predator's Portrait. The release was well received - by whom? can we get some quotes/opinions from critics please
 * with Italian melodic death metal band Disarmonia Mundi. - pointless link so Italian people
 * The additional information under band members either needs to be removed or written like an encyclopedia. It sounds like notes ' filled in...also plays...quit due to...
 * In the discography section what chart is it? I'm guessing Billboard 200 as chart positions were mentioned earlier about the independent chart.
 * I created a Soilwork template and added a picture by someone who was kind enough to release it under a free license. I know it doesn't show all the band but it would be really hard to get all six members in one photo with a free license. I suggest naming who is who for the picture caption as i don't know any members. M3tal H3ad 11:58, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Leon Sword
Well there's not much advice left for me to give since the above editors have already presented a lot of the same concerns I have, but here's a bit:


 * Fansites should not be used to cite biographical info. If the info cited is true, it would be much better if it were cited from the band's website or an interview with the band.
 * The band members section is too spammy. There is so much info in there that is irrelevant to Soilwork.
 * There's a lack of consistency throughout the article. The band's three newest albums each have their own subsection but the other albums don't, they're just thrown into other sections. It would be preferable if time periods were used for the history section or album periods (each album gets it's own subsection).
 * The lead section is supposed to be an introduction/overview of the article and should not include exclusive information. Any information provided in the lead section should be explored in greater detail within the body of the article. Currently, the lead section is more of a musical style/critical reception type section.
 * Generally, there are a lot of formatting/wiki issues throughout the article that I've been meaning to fix myself, but I keep getting caught up in other stuff. Sooner or later if no one fixes them I'll get to it though. Other than that, the above peer reviews present a lot of valid issues that need fixing. --Leon Sword 05:57, 11 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 00:53, 15 September 2007 (UTC)