Wikipedia:Peer review/Sparks Fly (song)/archive1

Sparks Fly (song)
This peer review discussion has been closed.

I have listed this article for a peer review because me and Status eventually wanna get it to a GA article and would like some input on it beforehand. Thank you. Swifty* talk contribs 11:52, 7 December 2011 (UTC)

The Rambling Man (talk) 11:32, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
 * Comments
 * "years of age" -> "years old" (so that there's some variety between the lead and the main part of the article).
 * "of the song, the song" repetitive.
 * "had a lot of requests " "had many requests".
 * "The song speaks of falling in love with somebody that may not be appropriate to fall in love with" badly phrased in my opinion, maybe "The song describes falling in love with someone inappropriate."
 * "believe the song could turn things around for Swift and praise it" (a) what do you mean by "turn things around"? and (b) odd tense choice, this happened in the past, so should this be "believed... and praised it..."?
 * "Other claims have praised Swift's lyrics of the song and have also claimed " repetitive "claims... claimed..."
 * "song crosses the line " perhaps "is a crossover from..." (see Crossover (music))?
 * "on Wednesday, August 10, 2011" is the actual day important?
 * "The song is the opening song" repetitive "song .. song"
 * "before the release of her self-titled debut album (2006)" would prefer "her eponymous album in 2006".
 * "to country radio" do you mean several country music radio stations?
 * "package that is exclusive" that was.
 * I don't see the "free headphones" etc in ref 6, nor any evidence of its exclusivity.
 * "The song, written solely by Swift, was written " repetitive "written ... written".
 * "calls the song " called... check the whole article for this type of thing.
 * "to make Swift the first act to have ten songs debut on the Billboard Hot 100 in the same week. " ref?
 * "Year-end Country Songs " which chart is this?
 * "on the week of" in the week.
 * "The performance uses electric guitars instead of banjos.[38] The performance was released on Swift's first live album called Speak Now: World Tour Live.[39]" I would merge so you don't have to repeat "The performance" two consecutive sentences.
 * Don't mix date formats in the references.
 * Ref 35 is a bare URL.
 * Ref 8 (for instance) needs en-dashes instead of hyphens in the title.
 * Difference in format between ref 29 and ref 30 despite them both being Billboard links...