Wikipedia:Peer review/Spice Girls/archive1

Spice Girls
This article requires a peer review because I'm not sure where it is going. Numerous sources have been cited, information is being found day after day, etcetra, but there seems to be something missing, although I can't quite put my finger on it. Music samples will be added ASAP. Please review this article. DrippingInk 12:42, July 19, 2005 (UTC)


 * Overall it's quite comprehensive and well written. In places it lapses into non-encyclopedic language - ie it sometimes reads as very conversational and informal, and makes use of catch phrases such as "chart topper"  and "massive flop".  It's on the right track but the language needs to be tightened up somewhat.  Some things are said that need to be substianted, for example "Stop" was  "the majority of younger listeners' favourite song" (says who?), or in talking about Emma Bunton's album - "selling exceptionally. The album is now a big hit". (if that's so it needs to be substantiated because what exactly does "selling exceptionally" mean?  compared to "Wannabe" it actually sold abysmally, but compared to someone else it probably did sell well, but as written, it's pretty meaningless).  The lead paragraph starts with them in the present and refers to Halliwell almost as an aside.  The most successful incarnation of the group included Halliwell, and the description should include her as part of the core, with the mention that she ended up leaving, instead of the other way around.  In other words it needs to be about a 5 member group that was reduced to 4, rather than a 4 member group that used to be 5.     The nicknames, Scary, Sporty etc are mentioned early without saying who was who, that needs to be fixed because it assumes the reader knows exactly who they are.  Maybe the reader has never heard of them, and it gets mentioned again at the end of the article.  Only needs to be mentioned once, and I think near the beginning because that was a HUGE aspect of their marketing. The marketing - that has to be discussed, because it was so successful and almost reached saturation in the UK.  There's probably never been a group subjected to such intense marketing.   Also the whole "girl power" thing, and their supposedly feminist stance - no mention and it's important.  (sorry - it's mentioned, but it's not explained, needs a brief explanation).  Why did millions of little girls want to be a Spice Girl?  There must be something recorded somewhere that attempts to explain that.
 * Could discuss who they were influenced by (they've cited Madonna) and what groups followed from them.  Also there's no critical discussion of them - what did social commentators/music reviewers etc, say about them?   The first mention of Victoria with, in brackets,  something about her later marrying David Beckham.  Things like that don't need to be there.  It gets mentioned later in the article where (I think) it belongs, and the article is not about Beckham, or even Victoria, it's about the group, and Beckham is not that relevant.  Those types of aside and references break the flow of the article, so should be avoided I think.  Leave him just in the Victoria paragraph at the end, or else discuss him as part of the girls growing apart after certain key events such as the Beckham marriage.    Most importantly - there is no reference section.  Inline citations are fine, but still need to included in a comprehensive reference list.  As it stands,  without a reference section, that is going to be most people's main criticism regardless how good the article is.   That's probably enough - when I put something on Peer Review and get a two word response I find that frustrating, so I'm trying to be clear although it's come out very randomly. I think it's very good, and well on its way to being a great article. Rossrs 14:21, 19 July 2005 (UTC)


 * Agree with previous comment - it's a good article, but leaves a bit to be desired. In addition to what Rossrs mentioned, there is, as far as I saw, no references at all in the article. References are definitly needed if you ever want to try for FA-status. Thats just how it is I'm afraid. Soundbites might be nice, but in my opinion not really needed. WegianWarrior 19:02, 19 July 2005 (UTC)