Wikipedia:Peer review/State of Grace (song)/archive1

State of Grace (song)


I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to take this article to FAC. Any comment regarding prose and reference issues is much appreciated.

Thanks, Ippantekina (talk) 08:04, 30 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments from Aoba47

 * I would revise this part, is a song written and recorded by American singer-songwriter, to just and move the part about Swift writing the song to later in the lead. See how it is done for other Taylor Swift articles, like "Shake It Off" and "Style" (Taylor Swift song). I would have the information about the songwriters and producers in the same sentence instead.
 * Done.
 * For these two parts, which sets the tone for an album about lost romance and which sets the tone for an album about complex feelings ensued from lost romance, I would directly attribute in the prose who is saying this. I am assuming it is critics, but it would be best to be absolutely clear. This information is currently presented in Wikipedia's voice so it seems a little off to me.
 * Swift herself said that it was her "breakup album" and has repeatedly claimed that it is a collection of songs about past romance, so do you think it is fair to state it as a neutral fact? Ippantekina (talk) 07:25, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * That should be fine then. Thank you for the explanation. Aoba47 (talk) 07:48, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Los Angeles and Nashville do not need links as I believe a majority of readers are familiar with these two cities.
 * I think it can be true for LA, but I don't think non-American readers (like me) are very well aware with Nashville. Ippantekina (talk) 07:25, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I would remove the Los Angeles link, but the Nashville link should be fine. Aoba47 (talk) 07:48, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I would remove the links for guitars and drums as again, these are very well-known things to most readers so it comes across as unnecessary over-linking.
 * Would it be possible to revise this part, The album's sound expands on the country pop sound of her two previous albums, to avoid repeating "sound"?
 * Done
 * I would find a way to rewrite this sentence, She co-produced the song with Chapman, who co-produced eight of Red sixteen tracks., to avoid repeating "co-produced".
 * Done
 * This might just be a personal preference, but for this part, by Justin Niebank at Blackbird Studios (Nashville), I would say as the parenthetical looks off to me.
 * Done
 * I have a comment about the placement of this sentence: "State of Grace" is the opening track of Red. When I first read this section, the song's placement on the track listing seemed too trivial to mention in the prose, but its importance is clarified in the final sentence of the "Music and lyrics" section. I would move this down to the last paragraph, where the song's placement on the album is really discussed.
 * I do not think it is entirely necessary in this part, citing Irish rock band U2, to point out that U2 is an Irish band.
 * I have a clarification question about this part, sounded like a U2 song on The Joshua Tree (1987). Did these critics compare it to a specific song from the album or more so that it could have fit on that album?
 * The latter. Should I reword it? Ippantekina (talk) 07:25, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I think it could be worded more clearly. Aoba47 (talk) 07:48, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * From my experience, the "Live performances" section is usually put after the sections on the song's critical and commercial performance.
 * Were there any reviews for her live performances of this song? I'd be surprised there was absolutely nothing said about any of these performances.
 * Sadly I can't find any.
 * For this part, the song's "repetitive" drums and guitars, I think you can just say repetitive without the quotes or you can paraphrase it if you prefer.
 * Done
 * The "Commercial performance" section is very short (i.e. a single paragraph). Would you consider it collapsing it into an earlier section to avoid having such a short section?
 * Here is a good article (Taylor Swift and the rebirth of poptimism) from Kill Your Darlings that talks about how "State of Grace" is a rock song and discusses Swift's history with rock music. I think this source would help a lot to add further context to the genre discussion. I do not have full access to the article as it is behind a paywall, but you can request it at the resource exchange. I could not find any other scholarly articles that talk about this song.
 * The "Media data and Non-free use rationale" box for the audio file (File:Taylor Swift - State of Grace song sample.ogg) needs to be filled out. There should not be any spots with "n.a.".
 * Done
 * I would remove this image (File:Taylor Swift Red Tour 2, 2013.jpg) as it is seemingly only used for decorative purposes and it is not a photo of her performing the song on the tour so it is not relevant to this article. It is a nice image, but it just does not fit this article, particularly where it is placed right now.
 * You already brought up a Slant Magazine review in this article so this one may not be necessary, but the magazine recently published a retrospective review of Taylor Swift's albums (Every Taylor Swift Album Ranked) and gave this song a negative review. I just wanted to draw it to your attention if you were not already aware of it.
 * Thank you for the article! I have read it, and it basically reiterates what has been said in the Red album review, from the same author. I don't think it would add substance so I'd kindly skip that :) Ippantekina (talk) 07:25, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I thought that would be the case, but thank you for checking anyway. Aoba47 (talk) 07:48, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Going off my above comment, I think it may be helpful to split up the second paragraph of the "Critical reception" section in two so the retrospective reviews have their own paragraph and the focus is more clearly defined. This is just a suggestion though so it is entirely up to you and your personal preference.
 * Done

The article looks well-written to me. I hope that my review is helpful. I have honestly never heard this song before so it is nice to learn something new and I found the article to be engaging. I would still highly encourage you to keep this peer review up for some time to get further feedback from other editors though. Let me know if you have any questions about any of my comments. Remember to update the article whenever Taylor's version of Red is released as there will inevitably be further coverage on the album. Best of luck with the peer review! Aoba47 (talk) 02:47, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Your input is very helpful! Apart from where I responded, I'll try to work them out within this week. Best, Ippantekina (talk) 07:25, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Take as much time as you need. I hope you have a great rest of your weekend! Aoba47 (talk) 07:49, 31 July 2021 (UTC)