Wikipedia:Peer review/Steve Burdick/archive1

Steve Burdick
This peer review discussion has been closed.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for January 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I think it's pretty close to GA status and I always like to get another pair of eyes on an article before nominating it.

Thanks, Otto4711 (talk) 23:20, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Brianbouton comments:
 * General point: when refering to the episode title, rather than the character, italics should be used, as in Steve Burdick
 * Scheduling controversy
 * It would be helpful to have a date for when the decision to pull the episode was announced
 * A year should be given for the date December 2
 * Tenses are wrong: since we're talking about 1990, "which has been designated" should be "which was designated"
 * some clumsy wording in the last sentence of the section. Suggest rewording: "Early in December NBC changed Lifestories from a weekly to a monthly format, and on December 5 confirmed..." etc
 * Reception
 * Section needs an opening sentence along the lines: "Steve Burdick was broadcast on its rescheduled date of December 18" - or something similar.
 * Tenses are again inconsistent in this section. At the beginning you have "...was well received", and ths Seattle Times "described the episode". Later on you have "Moffat's performance is singled out" and "as is Richard Gollance's script". There are other lapses in the section. Tense usage must be consistent, and in this case I think the past tense should be used uniformly.
 * I found this: "...citing the episode of one of the most memorable of one of the season's most daring new series". Can you sort this out into something more coherent?

I hope these comments help. Brianboulton (talk) 00:06, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * My understanding is that titles of individual television episodes are set off in quotes rather than italicized, while television series are in italics. Thus, "Steve Burdick" is an episode of Lifestories rather than Steve Burdick is an episode of Lifestories. Re: most memorable etc., the source calls the series "one of the 1990-91 season's most daring programs" and says the episode "may well turn out to be the most memorable" episode. Do you have any suggestions for how to incorporate that into the article in a way you think is more coherent? Re: "has been" vs "was", December dontinues to be World AIDS Month and saying "was" implies that the designation was a temporary or one-time thing. Otto4711 (talk) 01:32, 18 January 2009 (UTC)