Wikipedia:Peer review/Still Game/archive1

Still Game
If possible, I would like an opinion on the article from someone who has no or little interest in the topic. Does it inform you of the television's show general plot? Is it set out properly that it is linear to read and understand? I would also appreciate if reviewers could recommend any sections they think need cleaned up or added to make the article clearer to general readers. -- Britishagent 03:15, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Overall it gives good coverage of the subject and the layout is good. Some quick points:
 * The lead covers material that I can't see in the rest of the article when it should be a summary and introduction - I wanted to know if the original series were ever shown on the BBC outside of Scotland for example, and the comparison of viewing figures should probably be covered in the "Critical praise and criticism" section
 * "Critical praise and criticism" might be better titled "Critical reception" as it avoids doubling up on critical/criticism.
 * It needs copyediting - there are some mistakes such as "escaping his neighbours from hell to vacate to a flat near Victor" ("relocate to" maybe?), and some redundancy: "its use of Neds and stereotypes" - Neds are stereotypes.
 * It is overlinked - no need to link common phrases like car,lift,television,sex,shop etc. or dates that have no relevance to the article such as the link to "June".
 * The air dates should probably have the channel on which they aired next to them
 * Hope this helps. Yomangani talk 15:52, 16 August 2006 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ t 23:40, 16 August 2006 (UTC)


 * A note to say that the article has been updated following the above suggestions. If possible, can you please look over it and again, give welcome opinions on the article? Thanks again. -- Britishagent 10:02, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
 * I think that is a lot better. The air date information is much clearer and the criticism section improved by the rearrangement There are still some overlinking (decorators,the loss of his wife) and this phrase is strange "awaiting a visit from his son, John who stays in Johannesburg", does that mean he fails to turn up for the visit? The title of the air dates table would probably look better included in the table (but now I'm just being picky). Nice work. Yomangani talk 11:06, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your speedy reply and for your further comments. I've included Still Game into the table and tried to de-link a lot of the words. You're right - they're not needed. I can't help you on the phrase though as I haven't seen the episode in a long time! I'm sure he doesn't turn up but I don't want to add it, just in case. -- Britishagent 11:55, 18 August 2006 (UTC)