Wikipedia:Peer review/Tea & Sympathy/archive1

===Tea & Sympathy===


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for 5.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for 5.

This peer review discussion has been closed.. I've listed this article for peer review because… it recently passed GA, and I'd like to get it featured some time soon. Something raised in the GA review was the length of the reception section, so any specific commentary on that (as well as general stuff) would be great!

Thanks, giggy (O) 08:24, 11 June 2008 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Peer review/Tea & Sympathy/archive1.


 * Just to let you know, I'll be tacking myself onto this one to get back on the WP:FING bandwagon, and Wikipedia for that matter. Let's see this get to FA! -- rm 'w a vu  13:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Looks pretty good so far (although I am not familair with the album). Most of my comments will be fairly nitpicky: Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 15:27, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Infobox says "Singles from Diorama" - is this a copy and paste error?
 * (Sheepish grin) Yep.
 * ... much of the album was written following the end of a twelve-year relationship of Fanning's girlfriend. perhaps much of the album was written following the end of Fanning's twelve-year relationship with his girlfriend.
 * Done... I swear I didn't write it like that. Shrug.
 * and performed numerous shows across North American and the UK. should just be North America
 * Done.
 * Tea & Sympathy received an average reception from critics. this sentence seems odd to me, perhaps Critics felt Tea & Sympathy was an average album.?
 * I see your point... the suggested rewording seems to (sort of) go against what the reviews say, but I will try to reword it.
 * Despite these assertions, the album topped ... Perhaps Despite its critical reception, the album topped ...
 * Done.
 * I reallly do not understand how an inanimate record album can offer someone sympathy: Moving away from the band and writing Tea & Sympathy helped Fanning unwind; he told The Age, an Australian newspaper, the album's solemn lyrics offered him sympathy.[2]
 * Hmm... from source - "It can be either. The lyrics of the record are pretty sad overall. I'm probably offering myself sympathy."
 * How about using the quote then? Perhaps something like Moving away from the band and writing Tea & Sympathy helped Fanning unwind; he told The Age, an Australian newspaper, "The lyrics of the record are pretty sad overall. I'm probably offering myself sympathy."[2]
 * Good idea, so done. giggy (O) 10:30, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Personal gripe - why not just "oriented" in Fanning initially intended to create a politically orientated album...?
 * Done.
 * Maybe this is Australian English, but I would say "death from cancer" However, the recent death of his brother to cancer,
 * Yeah, that's Australian English (I believe).
 * Avoid short choppy sentences, which break up the flow of the article: Fanning worked with producer Tchad Blake. The pair were supported by record label Dew Process. perhaps Fanning worked with producer Tchad Blake, and they supported by record label Dew Process.
 * Done, and thanks.
 * Second paragraph in "Background and production" section - I would tell about the recording in chronological order, start with the home sessions, then England.
 * Better?
 * You get the idea - this could use a copyedit
 * My work always can. :)
 * Mine too ;-) Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 16:20, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Ref 8 ^ Ben Preece. "Bernard Fanning Live review", Time Off. needs more information - assume it is a magazine and needs date / issue number.
 * Fixed.
 * Under Personnel, perhaps UK sessions and Australian sessions instead of UK prodection, etc.?
 * Please use my examples as just that - these are not an exhaustive list and if one example is given, please check to make sure there are not other occurrences of the same problem.
 * Thanks! giggy (O) 02:59, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Kako komments (heh)

After some stuff I did straight out, here you go:

--Kakofonous (talk) 01:52, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "Despite these assertions, the album topped the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) albums chart, won three awards at the 2006 ARIA Awards, also winning an APRA Award and a J Award." There's a problem with tense here&mdash;you are using both a past and a transitive tense (I think…). Either split the sentence or make the tenses consistent.
 * Better?
 * Yup. --Kakofonous (talk) 03:05, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I see some overlinking; hiatus, off the top of my head. Does that even need to be linked, anyway? Pretty well-known... Another: The Age.
 * It links to a section on Powderfinger that talks about their hiatus. I only see The Age linked twice outside of refs...
 * OK, never mind then. --Kakofonous (talk) 03:05, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "Moving away from the band and writing Tea & Sympathy helped Fanning unwind; he told The Age, an Australian newspaper, the album's solemn lyrics offered him sympathy." Meaning is somewhat foggy&mdash;perhaps "Moving from the band and writing Tea & Sympathy helped Fanning unwind&mdash;he told Australian newspaper The Age that the album's solemn lyrics offered him sympathy."
 * Yep, sounds good so done.
 * "Much of the album was recorded… Recording of the album began…" Repetitive.
 * Trimmed a bit.
 * "Album Of The Year", "Single Of The Year"&mdash;are these how the awards are actually titled, or should they be changed to "Album of the Year" and "Single of the Year"?
 * ARIA puts "Of The" with capital letters.
 * Thanks! giggy (O) 02:59, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments from
 * You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
 * http://www.dew-process.com/ what makes this a reliable source?
 * They're Fanning's record label; Dew Process. giggy (O) 05:55, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * What makes http://www.musicomh.com/media.htm a reliable source?
 * User talk:Ealdgyth/Archive 4. :-) giggy (O) 05:55, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 00:47, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Confirmed - both of these are fine. giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

JonCatalán Comments Overall, a very good article, and as I suspected difficult for me to peer review. These are probably more nitpicks than anything else, and might be wrong (grammatically speaking), and so if you believe that I'm wrong please say so as you are most likely right! Apart from the above this is from an automated peer review. Take into consideration that the comments may not pertain to the article in question, as for the most part they are general. But, just in case, here they are! You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, JonCatalán (talk) 11:49, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * The Which Way Home? tour, named after the album's sixth track, was announced on 2 December 2005. It went through February and March 2006; Fanning performed in Sydney, Canberra, Adelaide, Melbourne, Hobart, Perth, and Brisbane. Fanning was joined on the Which Way Home? tour by Perth band The Panics and Brisbane singer Andrew Morris.
 * The Which Way Home? is 'confusing' due to the question mark. It is a title and so the question mark is necessary, but what do you think about removing 'The Which Way Home?' from the second sentence, since the relevant tour was already stated in the sentence before it?  I mean, it's not really confusing, but perhaps easier to read for some people (including non-native English speakers and younger native-English speakers).
 * Yep, I removed it the second time around (and you raise a good point). giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Like "Wish You Well", it became highly popular with fans, and helped Fanning win Songwriter of the Year at the 2006 APRA Awards.
 * Another dubious suggestion by me! What do you think about re-writting that as - The highly popular single helped Fanning win Songwriter of the Year at the 2006 APRA Awards. or Highly popular, Songbird helped Fanning win Songwriter of the Year at the 2006 APRA Awards.?
 * Ended up rewording it another way. giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * The final single, "Watch Over Me", was physically released on 24 June 2006.
 * What does 'physically released' mean? Is this 'type of release' different from how "Wish You Well" or "Songbird" were released?
 * Yeah, they were all digitally (ie. only online) while this was released on real CDs. I've tried to make it more clear. giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * This article has no or few images. Please see if there are any free use images that fall under the Image use policy and fit under one of the Image copyright tags that can be uploaded. To upload images on Wikipedia, go to Special:Upload; to upload non-fair use images on the Wikimedia Commons, go to commons:special:upload.[?]
 * Hmm... nothing else that can really be added in terms of images. giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * The script has spotted the following contractions: doesn't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
 * It's a ref title. giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
 * That's why I'm here. :-) giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your time! giggy (O) 11:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber

 * Right you little... hey, not bad at all dood. (Gawd, no I am picking up expressions from users on a 9-month holiday). OK, lets get to work...Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:01, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I totally know the feeling, dood. giggy (O) 11:03, 23 June 2008 (UTC)


 * sound towards a mixture of that and country-folk. the 'that'..dunno, maybe blending with country-folk? Undecided really.
 * That second paragraph has given me much heartache. Any better? giggy (O) 11:03, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * How's that? Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:09, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * That works great. giggy (O) 11:16, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * in the Bath countryside of England.. - erm, Bath's a town. So was it in bath, or was it in the country? Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:13, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Reworded. giggy (O) 11:16, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Tea & Sympathy received a moderate reception from critics. - sounds a bit lame really, but I know what you're trying to say and I can't think of an alternative straightaway. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:14, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Heh, yeah, there was much debate on this in the GA review... if you can think of a better word? giggy (O) 11:16, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I have to duck off for a bit. back later, though there may be some fireworks here...Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:18, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Laser brain comments
Good work. -- Laser brain  (talk)  04:19, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "Tea & Sympathy's lyrics are much more solemn ..." This comments begs the question than what?  One can infer "... than Powderfinger's" but why make them guess?
 * Done. giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "Also drawing inspiration from social and political issues, Fanning initially recorded four songs at his home studio in Brisbane." Unsure why these are coupled, since the first phrase is more connected to the prior sentence.
 * Reworded. giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "The rest were produced at Real World Studios ..." Production and recording are not the same thing.  Where were the first four produced, and where were the rest recorded?
 * Fixed. giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "However, the recent death of his brother to cancer ..." Since this follows the Howard item, it reads like Howard's brother died, not Fanning's.
 * Fixed (it's Fannings). giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * There's a bit of over-linking. Please de-link things like "hiatus" and "record label".
 * Hiatus links to Powderfinger - a section specifically about the band's hiatus at the time of this album. I've removed the other link. giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "... would appear on the album, after being mixed by Blake." Suggest "... appeared on the album after being mixed by Blake."
 * Yep, done. giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "The rest was recorded ..." The rest were.  Wait, is that a funky Australian English thing?
 * Well... it's saying "...the rest of the album was recorded..." I dunno, it seems right to me - am I wrong? giggy (O) 05:05, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Ah, I was thinking "The rest [of the songs] were ..." but it makes sense your way too. -- Laser brain  (talk)  13:52, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "The Which Way Home? tour, named after the album's sixth track, was announced on December 2, 2005." Check MOS.. I think the tour name needs to be in italics or possibly quotations.
 * I don't think there's anything about that in MoS... is it difficult to read? giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * You are correct, disregard. -- Laser brain  (talk)  13:52, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Please wikilink dates like "11 August" so readers' date preferences can overtake.
 * Done - how did I miss that!? giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks! :) giggy (O) 05:03, 24 June 2008 (UTC)