Wikipedia:Peer review/The Gathering Storm (novel)/archive1

The Gathering Storm (novel)
This peer review discussion has been closed. Put a lot of work into the article, I'd like to get a little insight and input before I take it to GA. The theme and reception sections need a little polish, but I'll get to them soon enough. Source check would also be appreciated. One issue is the length of the plot section, I can't find ways to trim it myself, not without earning the scrutiny (and reverts) of other edits. It's a very long and complicated book and series, hard to keep out of universe too, any advice on trimming would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers, Rehevkor ✉  01:01, 16 December 2009 (UTC)

--Gwern (contribs) 00:18 26 December 2009 (GMT)
 * 'is the title of' srsly?
 * No very quick sketch of Sanderson?
 * 'Rand/Egwene' sentence repeated in summary section
 * Synopsis in general assumes you already know what Arad Doman etc are. (I do because I'm a fan, but otherwise it is impenetrable.)
 * Might want to split synopsis section into Rand and Egwene and maybe Others section.
 * first 2 paragraphs in intro might make more sense elsewhere. Do all readers immediately need to know 'first we was all it's gonna be one big book and then the publishers were all nuh-uh and so we were all well alright then 3 books it is'? Especially since most is repeated there.
 * Reception and theme are way too small. It ought to be a urgent topic of interest after 3 screens of material on Jordan's death & Sanderson's publishing to know how well he did, yet... Themes is also intrinsically some of the most interesting material to cover - it's literary analysis - but also some of the hardest and most evanescent & hard to research later material. So this is probably the most important thing to do.


 * Not quite out of Christmas mode but I'll chime in here. The synopsis in this case is a problem, it's already far too long in my eyes, and addressing every in-universe word, place, etc would make it twice as long. I've tried re-writing it all from scratch but it's not made much of a dent. Any help there would be awesome. And the problem with the reception and theme sections is the lack of sources, I'm still keeping my eye out for new ones, so it should be expanded eventually. Rehevkor ✉  00:13, 31 December 2009 (UTC)
 * Done a little trimming of the plot section, decided to be bold and just remove or replace a lot of the in-universe words and phrases. Will give it further work when I can. Rehevkor ✉  00:27, 31 December 2009 (UTC)

Quick Ruhrfisch comment I know the requirements for GAN are looser than FAC, but I read the lead on this and saw lots of places where it could use a copyedit to tighten things up. Just the first paragraph could be ''The Gathering Storm is the title of the 12th book of the The Wheel of Time fantasy series. It was incomplete at the time of the death of [when] its author, Robert Jordan, who died on September 16, 2007 from cardiac amyloidosis[,] having written 50,000 words. His widow Harriet McDougal and publisher Tom Doherty chose [Brandon Sanderson] to continue the book posthumously. Brandon Sanderson was then chosen to finish writing the book. '' Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 02:42, 26 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I have incorporated the above suggestion, will try and go through the rest of the article and copyedit, but it's not my strong point. Rehevkor ✉  00:29, 31 December 2009 (UTC)