Wikipedia:Peer review/The Indian Princess (play)/archive1

The Indian Princess (play)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it is an academic assignment in process. This is my first time to Wikipedia so I would love feedback especially on format and adherence to Wikipedia guidelines.

Thanks, Eparness (talk) 03:57, 4 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Form of article is fine. I have tweaked the punctuation to Wikify it.
 * You use "claim" or variations of it nine times in the article. In general I'd advise keeping "claim" for cases where the assertion is dubious, and instead use "say", "state", "write" etc as more neutral. Your "cited" in the lead is an excellent example of neutral terminology.
 * Upper and lower case: be consistent with the capital T in the definite article when referring to "The Xxxx Theatre" or "the Yyyy Theatre"
 * Pocahontas: Schauspiel mit Gesang, in fünf Akten – a translation in brackets or as a footnote, would be kind.
 * The play has also been cited – not clear which play, the melodrama or Barker's
 * I don't know if this review of the London production, from The Times, Saturday, Dec 16, 1820, p. 3, throws any light on how much, if at all, the London show was related to the original, but you are welcome to it if it is of any use:
 * DRURY-LANE THEATRE.—A drama, in three acts, called Pocahontas or, The Indian Princess, was performed at this theatre last night for the first time. The subject is borrowed from the early history of the English settlers in Virginia, and is not destitute in itself of the interest derived from the intercourse of civilized life with savage habits and manners. Love, the common bond and point of union to the human race, is the master key to the whole drama. Pocahontas saves the life of an English officer, who had indiscreetly ventured into the domains, and becomes amenable to the laws, of her royal father, and the reward of both is marriage. The outline of the piece is better than the execution: good situations are to be found in it; but the general conduct discovers little skill; while the want of comic character communicates a leaden dulness which must prove a formidable barrier to a long and brilliant career. The dialogue, which is in blank-verse, is not deficient in harmony; but the speeches have one great and general fault – that of being too sentimental and didactic. Some music is attached to the piece, which is not without merit; and its value was not lessened by the skill and precision imparted by Miss Povey to her share in it. Cooper and Mrs. West were the hero and heroine; and the assistance of Booth's talents is also given. His character is that of an Indian chief, with a name (Opechancanough) not very easy to pronounce, and therefore, wisely enough, not once trusted to the metre. The writer, indeed, seemed in this respect very shy of his dramatis personae, a reserve  that an inspection of the play-bill will easily account for. The announcement for repetition was not received with much ardour; but the "contents" were predominant.

Hope some of this is helpful. – Tim riley (talk) 11:00, 21 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much for your thoughts Tim! I've made most of the changes you suggested. Eparness (talk) 16:08, 1 May 2013 (UTC)