Wikipedia:Peer review/The Noah Family/archive1

The Noah Family

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I've recently rewritten the entire article to a point where I believe it follows the MoS. I believe I also need someone's second opinion. However, I still don't know if the tone is appropriate. Other things I would like to know:

Thanks, Itzjustdrama (drama?) 06:02, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Is the lead sufficient?
 * Is there any needless detail or is anything too general?
 * Are they any terms exclusive to the series that are not fully explained?
 * Are the paragraphs and sentences structured properly?
 * Any statement that can be challenged?
 * Does any statement go against NPOV?
 * Is the basic grammar okay?
 * Is it easily accessible?

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 18:34, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I agree with the cleanup tags - this needs to be rewritten from an out of universe perspective - see WP:IN-U Everything in here appears to be gleaned from reading the series - there is nothing in terms of critical reception (what have critics written about these characters) or even comments from the creator(s) of the series about them.
 * Almost all of the references are from the work of fiction itself - what makes this Family notable? WHere are the independent third-party sources wrting about this topic? See WP:NN
 * A model article is often useful for ideas and examples to follow - Jabba the Hutt and Palpatine are FAs on fictional characters
 * No images - hopw about a fair use image or perhaps a free one of the author / illustrator could be found?
 * Article needs more references, for example many paragraphs are uncited. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.