Wikipedia:Peer review/There Goes the Neighborhood (TV series)/archive1

There Goes the Neighborhood (TV series)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I started it a few days ago and want to see if I can get this to Featured Status in the future (not for a long while, it's got a ways to go). Just wanted to know if it was off to a good start and draw some attention to it.

Thanks, T (Formerly Known as FireSpike) 02:29, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is a good start; the writing is generally clear and relatively, though not completely, free of error. However, the article is in such an early state that it's hard to do much of a peer review (PR). As the instructions at the top of the PR page say, PR is "intended for high-quality articles that have already undergone extensive work". Nevertheless, here are a few suggestions:


 * MOS:INTRO says in part, "The lead section should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article in such a way that it can stand on its own as a concise version of the article." The existing lead is an introductory paragraph rather than a summary. A good rule of thumb is to include at least a mention of each of the main text sections and not to include anything that is undeveloped in the main text sections. My advice would be to expand the article and then to completely rewrite the lead according to the guidelines.


 * WP:MOSNUM says, "Dates should not be linked purely for the purpose of autoformatting (even though in the past this was considered desirable)."


 * "one family will be banished from the neighborhood, thereby eliminating them" - "One family" is an "it" rather than a "them". Careful proofreading should catch and fix small things like this.


 * It would probably be helpful to say early in the lead that this is a show on U.S. television. "American Idol" only hints at that in the last line.


 * Overlinking. Common words like "family" and "neighborhood" don't need to be linked.


 * WP:IMAGES advises against making text sandwiches like the one in the "Production" section and the infobox.


 * In Wikipedia articles, most measurements given in imperial units are also given in metric units. I like to use the convert template for these, though it takes a bit of reading and practice to learn how to use it. You can also do the conversions by hand and enter them. I added the template for the wall height, so you can see in edit mode how it was done. The adj=on parameter adds the hyphen, and the 0 at the end is the degree of rounding (nearest whole number).

References
 * Since this is a U.S.-centric article, the date formatting in the references should be m-d-y (June 30, 2009) rather than d-m-y.

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 18:36, 8 August 2009 (UTC)