Wikipedia:Peer review/Thomas Gold/archive1

===Thomas Gold===


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to make this article ready for an FAC in the not too distant future. I am looking for reviewers who can assess the scientific writing and/or the quality of the prose.

Thanks, Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 12:19, 23 June 2009 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Peer review/Thomas Gold/archive1.
 * Update: I am still working on the lead and the "Origins of petroleum" section. All other sections are roughly completed. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 17:12, 24 June 2009 (UTC)


 * I can't do much for you on the copyediting part, but I have a couple suggestions. 1) The sentence: In turn, this evidence would "destroy the orthodox argument that since oil contains biological molecules, oil reserves must have derived from biological material". probably isn't supported by it's sources the way it is written. It seems to want to be a quote from Gold, but doesn't make that clear. 2) The last three paragraphs of the Origins of petroleum section are too short to stand on their own and interrupt the flow of the prose. They should be expanded, merged with related material, or removed depending on their importance to the topic. (Oh, now I see you said you are still working on that, but I'll still leave this anyway in case it's helpful.) 3) The sentence "Though this does not prove Gold's theory, it may lend support to its arguments." is speculative if not sourced. 4) There's at least a couple citation needed templates in there that really do need to be addressed. 5) The part on his personal life needs some expansion. While he is famous for being a scientist, that's not all he is. Something about growing up, parents, family and friends, relationships, and perhaps something more on his personality would be good. Overall very good work. Seems on track for being a successful FAC. - Taxman Talk 15:40, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the suggestions. I still haven't gotten to the paragraphs you referred to in suggestions 2–5. I should get to those paragraphs shortly. Regarding suggestion 5, there is some information on his relationships (with Bondi, Hoyle and maybe Dyson as well) and his charismatic personality. I'll definitely remember to include that information. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 18:57, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: As requested, here are some suggestions for improvement of this very interesting article. Most of the issues could be summarizes as provide (more) context for the reader. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 20:07, 4 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I know you are still working on the lead, but it is much too short and should be at least three paragraphs per WP:LEAD
 * Will do. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 17:29, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I know biographies don't always repeat the birthdate in the Early life section, but I think it is useful. It would also help provide context for the section by giving a year earlier.
 * Done. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 17:29, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Where did they live for five years after fleeing Germany? Presumably Austria? In 1933, Gold and his family left Germany following the start of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler's anti-Jewish campaigns. Following the German invasion of Austria in 1938, Gold and his family fled with stateless papers to England.
 * There's actually some variation among sources. One says his family went around Europe between 1933 and 1938, another (Bondi, who is perhaps was Gold's closest friend) says he moved to England in 1933 and another one even says he moved to England in 1937. I suppose I'll include all of this in a footnote. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 17:29, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Is there a year (and month?) when Gold entered Trinity College? Same thing for At the start of World War II, he was sent into internment ... as Americans tend to think WWII started on Dec. 7 1941 (Pearl Harbor)
 * 1939, added. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 17:29, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I think I would mention when he was transferred to Canada for his internment and also give dates for the period of his internment
 * I've given a start date for the internment. The end date is uncertain, but it is known that he spent approximately 15 months in internment. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 13:32, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Could "pass degree" be linked? Perhaps to British undergraduate degree classification?
 * Done. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 13:32, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Was the snorkel discover done using radar? I was curious how he made the discover (doubt he was skin diving around U boats)> I owuld also say where he did his naval research, since he returns from it to Cambridge later.
 * Added location. It would make sense that he used radar to discover the submarine snorkel, but the sources don't really specify anything. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 19:03, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I would recast this sentence Hoyle and Bondi returned to Cambridge immediately after the war, while Gold stayed with naval research until 1947 when he began working at Cambridge on the design of the magnetron. and perhaps split it in two, as something like Immediately after the war Hoyle and Bondi returned to Cambridge, while Gold stayed with naval research until 1947. He began working at Cambridge then on the design of the magnetron, to improve radar. I know magnetron is linked, but I would still explain it briefly with a phrase in the text (also was this the original magnetron or improvements to the existing design?)
 * Reworded. They were improvements to the existing magnetron design. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 19:03, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * The whole ear feedback loop paragraph could use some dates - when did he publish his theory, when did later researchers prove it true?
 * Done. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 19:03, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * The steady state section starts oddly - the first paragraph has no dates except for an interview done long after the fact, and the first sentence in an article on Gold is about Hoyle. It looks like 1947 was a busy year for Gold, but I am not clear when Hoyle began thinking about steady state (probably after the war). Can the first sentence somehow tie Gold (and perhaps Bondi) in with Hoyle? Perhaps something like "Gold began discussing problems in physics with Hoyle and Bondi again, and in 1947 Hoyle began to express some puzzlement over redshift and Hubble's law. This led all three to start questioning the Big Bang theory...'' I would give the year the Big Bang theory was proposed too.
 * Reworded, clarified. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Really awkward In 1948, Gold and Bondi and Hoyle by himself published papers discussing the Steady State theory as an alternative to the Big Bang. Perhaps something like Two papers were published in 1948 discussing the Steady State theory as an alternative to the Big Bang: one by Gold and Bondi, the other by Hoyle.
 * This was one of the sentences I struggled with; thanks for the suggested rewording. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * The last two paragraphs in SS theory could perhaps be combined
 * Done. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Per WP:MOS, images should be set to thumb width to allow reader preferences to take over. For portrait format images, "upright" can be used to make the image narrower
 * I did not know this. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I would also make the captions clearer in terms of their relation to Gold - Arecibo was built while Gold ran Cornell's astronomy department, for example.
 * Thanks. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * There are some minor errors which detract - Jocelyn Bell Burnell was a postgraduate researcher when she found the first pulsar, not a graduate student. Each pulsar has a fixed constant period - the article makes it sound like one pulsar's period can vary between 0.25 and 1.33 seconds. Also Michael Collins never walked on the moon to use any camera (he stayed in orbit).
 * Thanks, fixed. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Arthur C. Clarke wrote a sf novel called "A Fall of Moondust" that sure sounds like it is based on Gold's theory.
 * I did not review the Origins of petroleum section as it is under construction. The first quote needs a ref though. Also say where Lake Siljan is located
 * Removed quote for now, added location of Lake Siljan. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Personal life seemed OK.
 * Thanks for the review. I will definitely peer review an article in the coming days. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 20:09, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Monkey's mutterings That's the first section  YellowMonkey  ( cricket calendar poll! ) paid editing=POV 13:28, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * "aggressive"? Physically? or enterprising in the sense of being on the lookout for opportunities to make progress?
 * Mentally and physically. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 16:56, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * It says they lived in GER but then says that Gold studied in SUI. Boarding school? Then it says he left GER. Needs to be clarified as there is a bit of jarring there. Did they leave permanently then go to SUI? Is it in order? Did they settle in AUT before hitler annexed in 1938? What was the citizenship status? Did they get cit from living in GER for a few years? Renounced/kept AUT? Did he finish HS in SUI before getting into Cambridge?
 * They lived in Germany and fled in 1933. Here it gets a little tricky. It's established that Gold attended boarding school in Zuoz from 1933 to 1937, but there's some uncertainty about his parents' whereabouts. There are three claims made by different sources: (1) the Gold family fled to England in 1933, (2) the Gold family lived across Europe for four years before heading to England following Anschluss in 1938, and (3) the Gold family moved to England in 1937. By all accounts, Gold finished his schooling at Zuoz before attending Cambridge. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 16:56, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * disconnect with him being interned at B St E and then ending up in Canada. Do we know when he was moved?
 * No specific dates as far as I can tell, but he spent most of his time in a internment camp in Canada. Clarified in text. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 16:56, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * can a month be given for internment (sept 39?) release (dec 40?) -> He finished a uni degree in 18 months?
 * Started ~May 1939, released ~late 1940. AFAIK, he finished his university degree in about two years. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 16:56, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * What's a pass degree? He got an average of P grades ?
 * I believe it's just an ordinary degree without honors. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 16:56, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Second para doesn't explicitly say where he worked as a laborer and if he stayed in UK when he resumed work.
 * Clarified. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 16:56, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * In the second section it says that he returned from naval research so in teh first section it should explain that he got a military job. It might be good to discuss his security clearance if there are details, given that he was detained for being suspect.
 * The first section already stated that his radar research was with navy (Admiralty). No details on his security clearance, but I presume he was privy to sensitive information. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 03:41, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * what do they mean by "electromechanical"? a RLC circuit which is similar to a spring oscillation except that the resistor is similar to friction?
 * does doppler have to be explained to help the reader understand redshift and relative motion away?
 * Perhaps. I'm not an expert on these matters, so if you want to take a stab at it, by all means go ahead. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 03:41, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * "it nevertheless does not change its look over time" should a word like "scale" be used to explain for the layman?  YellowMonkey  ( cricket calendar poll! ) paid editing=POV 13:49, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Scale in place of "look"? Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 03:41, 12 July 2009 (UTC)