Wikipedia:Peer review/Thriller (album)/archive3

===Thriller (album)=== This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because…
 * Previous peer review

I just need some more advise and a fresh set of eyes before going for FA again. Sources are all good and correctly formatted. A copy edit and further advise would be welcome.

Thanks, Realist2 (talk) 02:29, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

It is still open and located at Peer review/Thriller (album)/archive3. That's all from me. I'll keep this page watchlisted, but let me know if you've got any questions or need me to take another look. -- ṃ• α• Ł• ṭ• ʰ• Ə• Щ•   @  02:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Comments from User:Matthewedwards
 * "The album was a commercial success, selling more than one million six hundred thousand copies in only nine weeks." does this refer to the main album, the 2001 re-release, or the 2008 Thriller 25 re-issue?
 * done
 * "Eventually they found Eddie Van Halen, who had never informed his band mates about the collaboration until the album was  released.[7][6]" Put the references in numerical order
 * done
 * "Beat It", in the sentence before that one is wikilinked; it doesn't need to be as it's linked earlier on in the article
 * done
 * ""Beat It", which featured guitarists Eddie Van Halen[13]" References should be placed after punctuation, and I'm not sure it's needed, as this statement has already been referenced earlier
 * done
 * "He went on to to compliment "Billie Jean" and "Wanna Be Startin' Something" as the best songs on the album, saying, "... The record's two best songs: 'Billie Jean,' ... and the delirious 'Wanna Be Startin' Something'," is too repetitive
 * done
 * The AMG and Rolling Stone quotes should be within quotes, and be fully referenced
 * done
 * "spending thirty-seven at number one out of the eighty consecutive weeks it was on the chart." huh? Spending 37 whats?
 * done
 * .[27][16][28] Put references in numerical order. Also, try to find out how many sales the album had in the UK, as I would say that is more important on English language Wikipedia, than the Spanish speaking Argentina
 * done
 * "According to the BBC, the Guinness Book of World Records, lists Thriller as selling sixty-five million copies as of 2007.[31]" Why according to the BBC? I would say the Guinness Book of Records is reliable enough for that to be unnecessary
 * done
 * The two paragraphs relating to Thriller 25 can be merged into one
 * done
 * "sales of Thriller rose thirty percent, over the sales of the prior three months" unnecessary comma
 * done
 * Wikilink Blender on its first use, not second
 * done
 * "MTV ran it airings to twice an hour to meet demand." doesn't make sense. Maybe remove "airings to"
 * done
 * "and is often called" should probably have more than one reference, otherwise, change it to "and has been called"
 * done
 * "The video sent the album back to number one" the popularity of the video helped the album go back to number one
 * done
 * "Rap artists such as Kanye West praised and sampled Thriller as well." Reference for both his praise, and which song of his uses a sample
 * DONE - The sample is named and sourced further down. They worked toegether for T25 so not sure what more is needed
 * Put Timberlake's comment in quotes, and reference it
 * done
 * For all those uncited statements of other artists' songs referencing tracks from the album, use http://www.coverinfo.de It's a German site, but has an English variant. I would say it qualifies as a reliable source, too, looking at the German FAQs and Sources pages
 * They seem to be sourced.

OK, thanx very much, ill start looking into it tomorrow afternoon. Realist 2 ( 'Come Speak To Me' ) 02:09, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: As requested, here are my comments on the article. Looks good to me, so these will be pretty nit-picky, hope they help improve the article. Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 03:11, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
 * No need to link Thriller 25 twice in two sentences.
 * done
 * I would make it clearer even in the lead that Thriller: Special Edition contains extra material and Thriller 25 contains 8 extra tracks and a DVD.
 * done
 * Is Three hundred songs were written and produced for the album really correct?
 * Yes - lol why do you think he only released 2 albums a decade
 * Watch out for sentences that are short and choppy - for example The sessions included several members of the band Toto.[3] Thriller was the second Jackson album produced with Quincy Jones.[4] Perhaps they could be combined as The sessions included several members of the band Toto,[3] and it was the second Jackson album produced with Quincy Jones.[4]
 * done - got rid of about 12 of the major ones
 * Jackson himself rarely commented on the recording of his work, only giving a few interviews a decade. makes it sound as if something Jackson said in one of those few interviews will follow - did he ever discuss recording the album?
 * Not in a way that contributes to the article, all he ever says is that he's greatful to god and his fans for making it a success, my all accounts he has little interst in his own music, he listens to classical music and disney music apparently.
 * I think it might help to be more specific as to exactly which sources say this in The album is cited as selling between forty-five and one hundred million copies worldwide.[29][30]
 * No, that issue has a lot of bad history, ive been blocked twice over the incident, it took a long hard nasty debate to eventually get it worded that exact way, its not worth the hastle.
 * Is "as" correct here or should it be "for": Thriller 25 was a commercial success, doing particularly well as a re-issue.?
 * Hum, im not sure, personly i think it sounds better but.....
 * Don't sandwich text between images per WP:MOS
 * done
 * Why are Special Edition tracks listed in the Thriller Track listings, but Thriller 25 gets its own section?
 * done

indopug
indopug (talk) 15:26, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Its remarkable how little this article talks about the actual music contained in it. Where is/are the Composition/Music/Lyrics/Theme section(s)?
 * OK, ill get to that
 * some recordings were left off the final cut because they did not follow the theme of the album.--what theme?
 * DONE
 * Hey where did all the charts go?? Charts of the original album's charting in, say, ten regions is required. Maybe even the original single releases, but that's not mandatory.
 * We removed the singles chart positions and just said "Thriller had 7 top 10 singles", someone had an issue with that at the last FA for some reason, i could add a table of album chart positions easily but its already written in pros in the "commercial" subsection - "The album went to number one in Australia (selling 165,000 copies), Argentina (selling 600,000 copies), Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Japan, Mexico, New Zealand, Spain, the UK (selling nearly 4 million copies), and a number of other countries." So does it still need a table or are these pros enough? Im more than happy to do it tho?
 * Rename "higly publicised" to Promotion. "Music videos and race" is a very weird section header, if you don't mind my saying.
 * But its not promotion, promotion is a deliberate act to raise awareness of a product, most of these events arent techniqually promotion, they were highly publishised events that just happened to make the album sell better. When Jackson hair court of fire he didnt say "go buy thriller", when he went to the whitehouse he never mentioned Thriller, when he went to the grammys that wasnt promotion, does that make sense? Promotion isnt a very accurate way of describing these events. Maybe unintentional promotion lol. As for the "Music videos and race" heading, the too issues are so closely linked, seperation of the two topics would end with me repeating myself quite a bit. What should I do about that?
 * Have you considered adding how MJ called something he didn't like, "smelly jelly"? That's hilarious (no reason Wikipedia can't be funny and informative).
 * DONE
 * Your use of blockquotes could be better; reviews are almost never listed in blockquotes like that (reminds me of metacritic actually), while that Justin quote seems really dumb.
 * Lol, you were talking about humour just a second ago, i thing its kind of funny that Justin Timberlake was saying the F word infront of MJ, not many people would have the guts, i bet that was the first time Jackson had heard someone say that in a LONG time.