Wikipedia:Peer review/Tiësto/archive2

Tiësto
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to know how the current article is, how it reads, if it is too much or too little, if it should be broken down or in any way improved. It is currently a good article and would like it to become a featured article. Any comments or suggestions are welcome on improving the article.
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, ASOTMKX (talk) 14:34, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

SGGH

Ongoing. Comments soon to appear. SGGH ping! 16:06, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Strong lead - but "famous", could that be quantified/qualified/changed to a direct quote from a reviewer?
 * ✅ the word famous has been removed, no quote from a reviewer could be found. ASOTMKX (talk) 00:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)


 * Couple of two/three sentence paragraphs that could be merged.


 * File:Tiesto444.jpg, needs more detail on its source.
 * ✅ the image has been removed and three new images have been added that have adequate copyright information. ASOTMKX (talk) 00:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)


 * The discography section, that these are headings makes the formatting a bit odd. Perhaps format the headings such as Video and Other albums with bold text rather than headings, or perhaps a table.
 * ✅ changed discography section from headings to bold text. ASOTMKX (talk) 00:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)


 * Black Hole Records doesn't need to be see also'd as its linked in the article.
 * ✅ Removed Black Hole Recordings from See also section. ASOTMKX (talk) 00:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)


 * I would not cite Bebo as a reliable source, even if it is his page. Tripod might be questionable too, but I don't know what consensus on it is.
 * ✅ bebo and tripod removed ASOTMKX (talk) 06:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)


 * There are a few primary sources which ought to be supplemented with more secondary ones.


 * I don't know if his myspace, twitter and facebook are suitable external links, IMO.
 * ✅ removed all three external links as well as the youtube and last.fm links. ASOTMKX (talk) 00:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)


 * Some long periods without citations, particularly in the biography sections.


 * "A wax sculpture of Tiësto was placed behind a turntable where Madame Tussauds visitors can mix Tiësto's music together with the man himself and he also won an Edison music award in the Best Dance category.[38]" Two unrelated statements in one sentence? Make sure a copy edit is done, as always.
 * ✅ Split this sentence up and clarified the second item. ASOTMKX (talk) 00:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)


 * "Dennis Waakop Reijers-Fraaij" is mentioned on the talk page as being a possible coverage gap. If this is the case, please address. If not, ignore :)


 * A general double check on all references, and a bit of a copy edit. On a couple of occasions two words are used where one will do, but its just a minor prose change.


 * Three of the images need their captions expanded to more than "tiesto in 200_" to give them some content and tie them into the article.
 * ✅ Got information for one, removed the other two images until more information could be found out about them. ASOTMKX (talk) 03:26, 14 September 2009 (UTC)

I hope these ideas help. FAC will grill any remaining copy edit problems. Good luck. SGGH ping! 16:19, 12 September 2009 (UTC)


 * Thank You! ASOTMKX (talk) 16:39, 12 September 2009 (UTC)