Wikipedia:Peer review/Tillie the All-Time Teller/archive1

Tillie the All-Time Teller
I've listed this article for peer review because I think the overall quality of the article needs to be improved.

Thanks, Proud User (talk) 10:15, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Rwxrwxrwx
Interesting article, enjoyable read. A few suggestions: Cheers. Rwxrwxrwx (talk) 18:33, 4 November 2015 (UTC)
 * As shown by the atomated link checker, the Wells Fargo external link redirects to another domain.
 * The colour picture would be more useful for the infobox than the current crude black-and-white one.
 * If the black-and-white picture is kept, the numbered items should be explained.
 * The sections are very short. If they can't be expanded maybe some merging should be done.
 * Several of the citations are missing "title" parameters.
 * The "how it worked" section is exactly the same procedure as a modern ATM; either point that out or explain any differences. The list of instructions would be better formatted as prose.
 * What was an "Alltime Tellercard"? Same as a modern bank card?
 * Punctuation is messed up in several places. WP:LQ should apply.
 * Did the machines really have a TV screen? What size? Colour? I remember early ATMs having only a single-line dot-matrix LED display.
 * The two song adverts are unreferenced.
 * The quoted song title links to "If You Knew Susie" so that's what the link text should be. See WP:EGG.
 * The quoted song could be formatted within tags to eliminate blank lines.
 * The mention of the song "she's a jolly good teller" could be expanded to link to the original song.
 * The last two links in the references section should be either put into an "external links" section and their relevance explained, or used as citations in the article.
 * There is a lot of redundancy in the categories list.