Wikipedia:Peer review/Trenyce/archive1

Trenyce
Please do not use level 1-3 section headings or horizontal rules in this peer review. Please do not include any images, such as done/not done templates with tick/cross graphics, and do not paste in semi-automated peer reviews below: link to them instead. Peer review pages should not be moved. --> Hello everyone. This article is about an American singer and actress best known as a finalist on the second season of American Idol and for her work in musical theatre. I would like to improve the quality of the article as it is currently in rough shape at the moment. This is the first time that I have worked on this time of article (something on a living person). I would greatly appreciate any help on this. Thank you in advance! Aoba47 (talk) 22:52, 21 January 2017 (UTC)


 * Comments from Ssilv: My biggest concern is that there is still very little material from professional reviews of Trenyce's shows and recordings. When she was on tour and in the musical theatre productions, there must have been more newspaper reviews that mentioned her.  There is still far too much material in the article quoting the subject herself. I removed some material that Treynce wrote or said about herself: "Trenyce described her voice and musical style as fitting any genre" ... "When talking to Chicagopride.com, she determined that..." It doesn't matter what she determined.  None of this is helpful at all, and degraded the quality of the article.  You need to say what the critics said of her, not what she said about herself.  Here are a couple of thoughts:  Instead of saying who replaced her in Macau in 2016, the article should state that she left Macau, and where she moved after that (or at least note that she returned to the U.S.), with a ref that verifies the info.   There is too much name-dropping.  It doesn't matter who she worked with, unless the other person has something to do with Trenyce's participation in the project, or is otherwise important in her life (for example, if she starred opposite her husband or sister in a show.  Nearly all notable performers have worked with other notable performers.  You don't need to say that a cast-mate was also at AGT, for example, unless the person named is somehow important to Trenyce's career.  -- Ssilvers (talk) 19:46, 23 January 2017 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your comments as always. I agree with your edits as they have greatly improved the quality of the article. I have removed a majority of the references to AGT cast-mates, except for Ruben Studdard who had a direct impact on her receiving a role. I have also removed the bit about who replaced her in Macau as I agree that it is unnecessary information. This is honestly the best that I could find online about her; I have attempted to find more critical response to Trenyce and her performances, but this is unfortunately all that I could find through online sources. I will look online later tonight to see if I can find anything else, but I am not that hopeful. More information may (and may is the operative word) be found at newspaper archives in libraries, but I have neither the time nor interest to do research in a library on this. I honestly do not know what she has been up to after Macau; I assume that she returned to the United States, but I cannot find any reliable sources to support this information (other than a weird advertisement piece for a moving company in which she promotes how a moving company helped her to move her stuff from London to her home in Tennessee prior to her departure for Macau). I am not sure if I could safely answer that question as it does not appear to be available to the best of my knowledge. Thank you again for your comments and I apologize for not being able to do much more to answer your questions/comments further. Aoba47 (talk) 19:58, 23 January 2017 (UTC)
 * I have also tried my best to restrict the use of the sources in which Trenyce talks about herself to the following sections. I used it in the "Early life" section as I think that source would be appropriate here, and the "Artistry" section as I have seen done in other articles. In the rest of the sections dealing with her career, I have tried to keep it to just outside sources/critics/etc. but I agree that more information would be extremely beneficial. Aoba47 (talk) 20:00, 23 January 2017 (UTC)
 * Further comments: The chronology of the 2004–09 section is not clear. The first paragraph in particular, mentions some plays and films without saying in which year Trenyce performed in them. Also, the Filmography is missing College Hill (BET). I haven't checked most of the refs, but some of them seem to be merely blogs. Finally, the "Influences section is much too long for such a minor singer as Trenyce, who has never even released any music that has charted, and it's mostly just quoting her. The section is terribly pretentious; no one coming to this article to get an encyclopedic treatment of Trenyce will learn anything important about her by seeing the references to Adele, Kerry Washington, Viola Davis or Streisand, and the already established, elsewhere, her connections with Abdul and Jackson. -- Ssilvers (talk) 21:11, 23 January 2017 (UTC)
 * I have removed the "Artistry" section as it is unnecessary. I have added the years for two productions. I have found absolutely nothing about her performances in the Vagina Monologues and cannot even pin it down to a specific year (other than it happened sometime in the mid-2000s). Everything else should have a date, but I'll have to copy-edit someday to make it not look as much like a list. I do have some blogs in there as there are relatively few other sources I could find online about her activity in these productions. Aoba47 (talk) 22:53, 23 January 2017 (UTC)