Wikipedia:Peer review/Triangulum Galaxy/archive1

Triangulum Galaxy
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like suggestions for further improvements with the eventual goal of bringing it up to GA status.

Thank you, RJH (talk) 00:05, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Comments by Cryptic C62:


 * The lead should probably be expanded. My rule of thumb is that each section in the article should be represented by at least one sentence in the lead, which is not yet the case.
 * "The Triangulum Galaxy is a spiral galaxy at approximately 3 million light years (ly) distance in the constellation Triangulum." Distance from what? Presumably from Earth, but another possibility is from the Milky Way.
 * "It is the one of the most distant permanent objects that can be viewed without the aid of a telescope." Examples of the other distant naked-eye objects would be helpful here.
 * Why is the information on visibility and nomenclature grouped into one section? If these topics are somehow relevant to each other, that is not being made clear in the article.
 * Because as separate sections they would be entirely too brief.&mdash;RJH (talk)
 * "However, M33 was an exception and he catalogued this object on September 11, 1784 as H V-17" Any idea why Triangulum was an exception?
 * "The results were consistent the concept of spiral nebulae being independent galactic systems of gas and dust, rather than just nebulae in the Milky Way." This sentence appears to be missing a word. Perhaps "with" after "consistent"?
 * I added a 'with' here Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:43, 3 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Herschel also catalogued the Triangulum Galaxy's brightest and largest H II region (diffuse emission nebula containing ionized hydrogen) as H III.150 separately from the galaxy itself" It's not clear if "separately" means that he erroneously considered the region to be a separate object, or that he recognized one was part of the other but simply gave them separate catalogue entries. I suspect the latter, in which case I think it may be clearer to simply drop the "separately from the galaxy itself" phrase altogether. The use of "also catalogued" is sufficient.
 * "It was among the first "spiral nebulae" identified as such by Lord Rosse in 1850" Does "it" refer to the H II region or to the entire galaxy?

More to come if you feel this is helpful. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 03:53, 3 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the feedback. If you have any more I'd appreciate hearing about it.&mdash;RJH (talk) 16:03, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber

 * I think noting how it differs from the Milky Way (eg WRT what proportion of mass is dark matter? star population, size of galaxy etc.)
 * Lots of choppy paragraphs.

I'll keep an eye as you add stuff. Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:43, 3 December 2010 (UTC)