Wikipedia:Peer review/Tropical cyclogenesis/archive2

Tropical cyclogenesis
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get it up to fa status.
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, Bobby122   Contact Me   (C)  01:11, 19 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Make sure that everything in the previous peer review (listed above) and the WikiProject A-Class Review is taken care of. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 19:38, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Do we really need the Seasonal forecasts section? We have Tropical cyclone forecasting, which has a Seasonal forecast section, and the prose there probably belongs there better. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 02:42, 24 September 2010 (UTC)


 * Comments from Jappalang


 * Checklinks (toolbox on the right of this peer review page) shows a dead link and several sites that require subscription ; please fix the dead link and note which sites require subscription in the References.
 * Which ones in particular were you concerned about (besides the dead link)? I verified all the "suspicious" output in checklinks, and all the journal references worked for me. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)
 * I must have mixed it up with another article. Journal links are working fine here.  Jappalang (talk) 06:29, 28 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "Tropical cyclogenesis is the technical term describing the development and strengthening of a tropical cyclone in the atmosphere."
 * "Tropical cyclogenesis is the technical term that describes the development and strengthening of a tropical cyclone in the atmosphere."
 * Switched. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "... due to significant convection in a favorable atmospheric environment."
 * "... due to significant upward movement of warm air in a favorable atmospheric environment."
 * I am hesitant to change this one, since the establishment of the full convection cell is important, not just the upwards advection; I'll wait for further input on this request. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "An average of 86 tropical cyclones of tropical storm intensity form annually worldwide, with 47 reaching hurricane/typhoon strength, and 20 becoming intense tropical cyclones (at least Category 3 intensity on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale)."
 * This average number is applicable for what time period? Furthermore, read User:Tony1/Noun plus -ing on why "... with -ing ..." is discouraged.
 * The reference from where this information is obtained only says "in the last few decades". I'd rather not introduce such a vague statement to the lede of the article, but I welcome further opinions. I tried to remove the noun+ing. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "There are six main requirements that are necessary but not sufficient for tropical cyclogenesis: [...] These conditions are necessary for tropical cyclone formation, but they do not guarantee that a tropical cyclone will form."
 * The phrase "that are necessary but not sufficient" is redundant; the second sentence plainly states the same but in a clearer manner.
 * Fixed. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "These warm waters are needed to maintain the warm core that fuels tropical systems."
 * "Tropical systems" = tropical climates/environments or tropical cyclones?
 * Tropical cyclones. However, Adding "tropical cyclones" there would make the paragraph very repetitive. Alternative formulations would be welcome. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "This value is well above the global average surface temperature of the oceans, which is 16.1 °C (60.9 °F)."
 * "This value is well above 16.1 °C (60.9 °F), the global average surface temperature of the oceans."
 * Fixed. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * "However, this requirement can be considered only a general baseline because it assumes that the ambient atmospheric environment surrounding an area of disturbed weather presents average conditions."
 * Unsourced; there are more unsourced information in the Times of formation and Unusual areas of formation sections.
 * I recently placed these tags for statements that I know are true, but which should be better referenced. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)


 * There are several "[citation needed]" tags; this and the above unsourced elements stopped my reviewing of content.

The article mostly manages to present information that is understandable to the layman at times. However, I believe it still needs some polishing on its prose and resolution of the unsourced/uncited elements and image copyrights.
 * File:Depth26Cisotherm.gif, File:Atlantic hurricane graphic.gif, File:WorldwideTCpeaks.gif: link to the page that displays the image, not to the image directly per WP:CITE.
 * I'll see what I can do here. Tito xd (?!? - cool stuff) 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)