Wikipedia:Peer review/Typhoon Jebi (2018)/archive1

Typhoon Jebi (2018)


I'm considering nominating this for FAC in the near future and would like to see how it can be improved further. Thanks, ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 15:15, 10 October 2020 (UTC)


 * NOTE: when you close this peer review, please be sure to remove it from Template:FAC peer review sidebar. If FA regulars have to do all the maintenance, they may stop following that very useful sidebar :) And please add the sidebar to your userpage so you can help out at Peer review!  Good luck, Sandy Georgia  (Talk)  17:27, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Comments from SandyGeorgia
My general comments for FA aspirants are at User:SandyGeorgia/Achieving excellence through featured content. Please pay particular attention to Tony1's writing exercises, and read through all the helpful links there. These are all suggestions, article looks competent. Good luck, Sandy Georgia (Talk)  23:32, 28 October 2020 (UTC)
 * On non-English citations, use the |trans-title parameter in the citation templates to give the English reader a clue to the article name :)
 * Subsequently, Jebi reached its peak intensity ... see the top of User:SandyGeorgia; unnecessary.
 * In total, see Tony1 exercises ... In total, 14 people were killed in Japan, mostly from falls and flying debris, and 980 were injured.  --> Fourteen people were killed in Japan—mostly from falls and flying debris—and 980 were injured.
 * As Jebi passed just north of the Northern Mariana Islands as an intensifying typhoon on August 31, a typhoon warning was issued for the islands of Agrihan, Alamagan, and Pagan.[28] --> Jebi passed just north of the Northern Mariana Islands as an intensifying typhoon on August 31, and a typhoon warning was issued for the islands of ...
 * Check all instances for overuse of however.
 * Northward east is awkward ... Typhoon Jebi brought large waves to the east coast of Taiwan on September 2 and 3 when it recurved northward east of the Ryukyu Islands. --> When it veered northward again on September 2 and 3, east of the Ryukyu Islands, the typhoon brought large waves to the east coast of Taiwan.
 * Also is almost always redundant ... Another death also occurred at Neipi Beach
 * Convoluted ... Another death also occurred at Neipi Beach in Su'ao Township when a passerby rescued an eight-year-old girl but drowned himself. ... A passerby drowned at Neipi Beach in Su'ao Township while he was rescuing an eight-year-old girl.
 * Thank you for the feedback,, and the useful links! ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 11:40, 29 October 2020 (UTC)