Wikipedia:Peer review/Union Army Balloon Corps/archive1

Union Army Balloon Corps
I'm very fond of this article but have not been much involved in development. Page creator Magi Media has put some good thought and a heap of time into this important and intriguing subject. With his support, I've asked for this peer review, so we can get some eyes to help this along to the next phase (A-Class or GA status). For my part, I think the article could use a References section at the end, to collect important reading and better support the inline references recently added. I think the layout could use a tiny bit of tweaking. BusterD 23:06, 7 November 2006 (UTC)


 * I want to thank BusterD for being so supportive of this article. The Mount Lowe Railway has been my bailiwick for a long time, but getting to tell about Lowe the Civil War balloonist is special. BTW- There is a References section just ahead of the Notes.--Magi Media 07:01, 8 November 2006 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ t 17:15, 8 November 2006 (UTC)


 * Overall it looks pretty good, and it's an interesting read.. I just have a few small suggestions:
 * The entire first paragraph is a single long sentence. I think it could be broken into two or three sentences to make it easier to read.
 * so done
 * These terms can be linked: aerostat; White House; (battles of...) Yorktown, Fair Oaks, Sharpsburg, Fredericksburg; hydrogen; Falls Church; artillery observer; Washington Navy Yard; sulfuric acid; buckboard, and Monitor.
 * Check!
 * The "Selecting a Chief Aeronaut" could use a brief introduction regarding the overall selection process.
 * Good point! The selection process was hardly a process though Lincoln knew about balloons and wanted some.
 * True, but I think an overview would be helpful to the context.
 * ...the Enterprise on the White House front lawn." needs a comma after Enterprise.
 * "T.S.C. Lowe[6]." should have the citation tag after the period.
 * Section "John LaMountain"; second paragraph: the first two sentences begin with "However".
 * Thanks for that!
 * "With each descent came the threats of being fired on, and with each descent he needed to release gas." Should the second "descent" actually be "ascent"?
 * No, the point was descents require the realease of gas and the loss of ability to go back up while in the mean time you are being fired on. I rewrote it for context.
 * Okay.
 * "gale force" needs a hyphen.
 * OK
 * I think the balloon names in the bulleted lists should be italicized.
 * I thought listing would override italics, but...OK
 * I couldn't find an exception for that in Manual of Style (titles).
 * "Peninsula Campaign" section: I'm not sure that linking a section title is recommended, but I could be mistaken.
 * I've seen otherwise.
 * Okay. I've just seen others complain about it so I thought I'd make mention.
 * Guess What! You're right! The "automated" says not to do that. Good catch! BUT...I already wrote the cap into the first line and linked it instead.--Magi Media 00:58, 10 November 2006 (UTC)


 * Thanks! &mdash; RJH (talk) 20:10, 8 November 2006 (UTC)
 * Thanks for all the help--Magi Media 04:37, 9 November 2006 (UTC)
 * Glad I could give some useful input. I think that article is already more than sufficient for GA-status. Good luck. &mdash; RJH (talk) 16:15, 9 November 2006 (UTC)