Wikipedia:Peer review/Vasco Gonçalves/archive1

Vasco Gonçalves
I am requesting a peer review for this article because the subject of this article is an important individual in Portuguese history, specifically in Portugal's transition to democracy. I have hit a wall on how to expand this article, and I am looking for some advice (and maybe some help) on how to improve this article. Also, if its possible it would be very helpful to see what level this article is on the quality scale.

Thanks, Jp16103 23:35, 28 March 2017 (UTC)

Comments by KJP1 KJP1

I think this article requires quite a lot of work and is probably rated appropriately as Start Class at present. I agree as to his importance. As such there must be some appropriate, written, sources (books) which could form the basis of a more complete article. Specific issues below:
 * Layout
 * It doesn't follow the format of a Wikipedia article. I'd expect to see something like: Lead / Early Life / Military career / Political career / Appraisal / Death.
 * Focus
 * Not nearly enough detail on the major aspects of his career. The 23 years, 1950-73, are a complete blank. Pretty much a complete blank for the 30 years from 1975 to 2004.
 * Citations
 * There aren't nearly enough. The whole of the 4th paragraph has a single citation. And see below.
 * There are quite a lot of citation errors, in particular, Sources 2 and 6. Source 4 claims to be from The New York Times but actually links to The Daily Telegraph obituary. Also, it's exactly the same as Source 1, which is the Telegraph obit. re-cycled. Similarly, Sources 2 and 6 are the same and should be linked.
 * The sources are not sufficiently broad. Given that 1 and 4, and 2 and 6, are actually the same two sources, you've got the DT obit., the Independent obit., a short, Portuguese article and a YouTube video. That's not enough.
 * Copyvio
 * The 4th para. has too close a similarity to the text in Source 3. The Copyvio tool shows a very clear match for much of it.  It needs re-wording.
 * Prose - quite a lot of issues. Examples below:
 * "Vasco dos Santos Gonçalves was born on May 3 1921, in Sintra, Portugal. His father, Vítor Candido Gonçalves, was a professional footballer turned foreign exchange dealer. He graduated from the Portuguese military academy..." - Who graduated, him or his father?
 * "Gonçalves married, in 1950, Aida Rocha Alfonso,.." - did he marry someone else in 1951? Suggest "In 1950, G married ARA..."
 * "Gonçalves short tenure as Prime Minister of Portugal.." - either Gonçalves' or Gonçalves's, here and elsewhere.
 * "Vasco dos Santos Gonçalves passed away on June 11th, 2005" - can we replace "passed away" with "died"?
 * Image
 * Is there no better photo than this profiled crowd shot?

I hope the above comments aren't discouraging. You've found an interesting subject, and have the basis for a decent article. But there is quite a lot that needs doing. All the best. KJP1 (talk) 09:17, 30 March 2017 (UTC)


 * Thank you for your input, actually I did not find your comments discouraging at all. In fact, I am even more motivated to work on this project. Once again, thank you! Jp16103 17:56, 30 March 2017 (UTC)