Wikipedia:Peer review/Walter de Coutances/archive1

Walter de Coutances
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because, as usual, I'm thinking of taking a bishop to FAC. Looking for wonky prose, spots that make no sense, and any missing context that needs explanation to the non-medievalist.

Thanks, Ealdgyth - Talk 22:37, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

Comments by Sarastro1 Generally excellent. Very clear and easy to follow. It seems very thorough and explains most of his life very clearly. However, some sections are a little too dense which makes them hard to follow. (I would count myself as a general reader but studied medieval history some time ago so I have a reasonable background knowledge.) Hope this helps! --Sarastro1 (talk) 21:25, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * "King Philip II of France demanded that Geoffrey's daughters be placed in the French king's custody, as well as the duchy of Brittany, which Geoffrey had ruled in right of his wife, be surrendered into French royal custody": is "in right of" the correct phrasing here; it doesn't quite sound right.
 * "to arbitrate the dispute between King Henry II of England and his son, Richard, who was supported by King Philip II of France..." - what dispute? This section does not make it clear what the dispute was, only what the potential resolutions were. Is it connected with the dispute over the death of Geoffrey in the same paragraph. The whole paragraph is a little hard to follow. Why did Philip want the land and Geoffrey's daughters?
 * "Henry rejected these terms, and neither Philip nor Richard would negotiate, even under the threat of an interdict" Who was threatening an interdict?
 * "During the last 10 years of Henry's reign, only Ranulf de Glanville witnessed more royal charters, and only Wiliam de Humez, the constable, equaled the 16 charters that Coutances witnessed.": This does not seem to fit in with the rest of the paragraph, what is its relevance?
 * "managed to secure a compromise between the parties": what was it?
 * "At the council, Longchamp was deposed and exiled, largely on the strength of a royal document ordering the magnates to obey Coutances' if the archbishop's advice was resisted by Longchamp."; How did the documents lead to his deposition and exile? This section is a little hard to follow.
 * "Most of his efforts ... under Coutances' successor Hubert Walter." This section is hard to understand. Not sure about the relevance of justices here - there undoubtedly is one, but it is not clear from the article. It is also hard to see the importance of this in terms of Coutances' life. Could it be spelt out a little more.
 * "dealt with problems of administration and defense" In this article, should the spelling be "defence" given its connection with England?
 * "Both the English and the French kings had required clergymen ... archbishop's punishment was valid." Again, this section is hard to understand and could be spelt out a little more. What does it mean that he was to be surety? Why did the king seize the lands? Why was this condition put into the treaty?
 * What is the connection between Argentan and the dispute over the Bishopric of Sees?
 * Also, why was Coutances so popular with so many kings? Why did Henry use him so much to begin with and why did he rise to prominence? It also seems that he fell out with Richard after the ransom; is this the case, and if so, why? And his relationship with John and Philip seems to have been variable. Could his relationships with these kings be spelt out a little more explicitly or commented on?
 * He was obviously a very important man. How did this compare to other, similar, men, such as other archbishops or Hubert Walter?
 * I've dealt with most of these (excellent suggestions thanks!) but the last two bullet points are pretty much unanswerable at the moment. There is no full-length biography of him, just a PhD thesis that I've not been able to get my hands on, and which would probably be iffy to use anyway. So some things about him just aren't covered in the secondary sources yet, unforatunatly. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:14, 9 February 2010 (UTC)