Wikipedia:Peer review/Wayne Rooney/archive2

Wayne Rooney
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I wanted to make it a GA but it went in vain. So I want someone to guide me to achieve the goal. Thanks, RRD13 (talk) 03:29, 21 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Previous peer review

Comments by Lemonade51 – Many thanks for your work on this. I don't watch Rooney's article, but I'm aware of his career to date and have some experience of bringing football articles to GA level. The layout of this is pretty good, but more work is needed on prose.
 * Have a look at other football articles which are of GA standard. Pablo Ibáñez and Patrik Berger are two which have been promoted in the last year. Compare the style and structure, look at its reviewing process and take some ideas on board.
 * The 'Early life' section falls foul of WP:OVERCITE. Why is "He is of Irish descent" and "was brought up as a Roman Catholic" double cited? There are plenty of generalised statements, which could be expanded. Rooney has an autobiography out; I do think this would beef the section up and clarify his religious upbringing – how was it important to him? Why did he support Everton? What was his relationship with his family like? If you don't have access to his book, he is bound to have discussed his early life to the media. Would give much needed balance to the article.
 * "Rooney began playing for Liverpool Schoolboys and until May 2010 he held the record of 72 goals scored in one season", rewrite this sentence as it can be open to interpretation. Rooney played for Liverpool Schoolboys until 2010? He held the record for most goals scored in one season, but is it an England one or Liverpool Schoolboys one? Use simple past instead of continuous.
 * "and by 15 years old he was playing for the under-19s" → at the age of 15...
 * "He scored eight goals in eight games during Everton's run to the FA Youth Cup final in 2002.[30] This included one goal in the final defeat against Aston Villa", I'm confused, eight goals in Everton's run to the final, as well as a goal in the final?
 * "These goals meant that Rooney was Everton's youngest-ever goalscorer at the time" and "His first career red-card", words that are in bold are not hyphenated.
 * "In that match he was booed by the Spurs fans", Spurs? I know this refers to Tottenham Hotspur's nickname, but it's not hinted in the previous sentence.
 * "On 21 February 2004, Rooney netted his first Premier League brace", link?
 * "Rooney's agent snubbed a three-year, £12,000-a-week contract offer from Everton in August 2004, leaving Manchester United and Newcastle United to compete for his signature.", not cited and I'm sure Chelsea were interested in signing him?
 * "Sir Alex Ferguson, then manager of United, says that" said that
 * "...the club's board of directors to sanction "a multi-million pound" move to try to sign Rooney from Everton ", avoid repetition
 * There are plenty of deadlinks. Several sources are Bare URLs – the links are copied and pasted and inserted between the ref tags. The problem with this is they are susceptible to link rots and bots cannot archive them, in the event of sever issues. The GA criteria expects references to be stylised consistently – in this case, they aren't.

I went as far as his first season at United as it would be pointless of me listing all the problems I could find. What's evident is this article is in dire need of a copyedit. Unfortunately I don't have the time to do so, but I'm sure you can find a willing editor. You also need to go over the sources and make sure the material in the article is covered by it. His autobiography would be of great use; it contains direct quotes and can spilt the repetitive stuff about him scoring goals. Lemonade51 (talk) 22:34, 6 February 2014 (UTC)