Wikipedia:Peer review/Westfield High School (Fairfax County, Virginia)/archive1

Westfield High School (Fairfax County, Virginia)
This was listed as a Good Article back in May, and I've been tweaking the article with another editor since then. I think it needs a bit of copyediting and suggestions for improving the article to A-class or FA status. WikiProject Schools listed this as a future FAC. A bit of background, Westfield High School was recently important as the high school where Virginia Tech massacre gunman Seung-Hui Cho graduated from. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks! Arsonal 16:26, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Review by Walton Excellent article, particularly good use of sources. The only thing I would rewrite is the lead section - it's a bit lengthy, and quoting all those stats about how great the school is gives the article a bit of a POV feel. Instead, I'd refer to the gun violence issues in the lead section - it's a big part of the school's notoriety, and more encyclopedic than telling us about its partnership with "Centreville Presbyterian Church". Waltontalk 13:31, 4 July 2007 (UTC)

Twenty Years

 * The enrolment, staff could do with a reference.
 * The history needs to be expanded, all this controversy is of good length, I know the school is quite young, but 1-2 paragraphs doesn’t cut it for FA (or GA in my opinion)
 * Some of the reference tags (eg. 30 and 31) are right next to each other and I think it looks a tad ugly and they should be merged together (for example: see reference style in Aquinas College, Perth)
 * I don’t like a lot of the referencing, there is too much referencing in the middle of the paragraphs, unless something quite controversial is being said, then please use less citations in the paragraph or merge them as stated above.
 * I don’t like the individual awards as part of the schools article, but that’s my preference
 * In the Notable Alumni section, I don’t approve of the Person X 05’ for example, the 05’ looks a tad messy, this is an encyclopedia, I would prefer it to be: Person X (2005) – Did this and that.
 * 111 references is QUITE A LOT, and that is good, there are a lot of Primary sources, which I would like to see go. They should only be used when no secondary source can be found. Please try and replace them.
 * Is the fight song by Jessica Lardin copyrighted? Id think it would be? And it isn’t referenced?
 * The article is quite strong, a lot of references, and I think overall it is a good job by the author/s, but with most school articles, getting them to FA is damn hard. But good luck. Hope the suggestions helped.Twenty Years 09:08, 11 July 2007 (UTC)