Wikipedia:Peer review/William B. Jordan/archive1

William B. Jordan


Hello. I have been working on this article for a featured article nomination — something that I have never done before — and I would appreciate any help that I can get. I have tried my best to see that the article meets the criteria; I have also taken inspirations from how other featured articles are written, and I have incorporated their basic concepts. I have invested a great amount of time in writing this article and it would mean a lot if I can elevate it to featured article status. Please do not hesitate to point out even the most minor of points. As I have never gone through this process before, every little detail will help. Thank you. — The Most Comfortable Chair 12:32, 9 June 2021 (UTC)

Eddie891

 * I will plan to go through this article and comment to the best of my ability. Unfortunately I'm out of town next week (though not offline), so I will likely not be able to finish until early August. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:45, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

Urve
I plan on going through this and commenting, too. A bit busy. Feel free to strike anything you take care of or don't find concerning. My initial thoughts fairly random and minor, since they just came up while scrolling around. All for now. Will try to return. Again, initial comments are random and probably wrong; just what I found while scrolling around. Urve (talk) 00:56, 25 July 2021 (UTC)
 * You can install this script to catch Harvard errors. There's one for Kimbell Art Museum.
 * On that note about Kimbell, the FA criteria refer to "high-quality reliable sources". It is fairly unsettled as to what this means. What makes a Facebook post "high-quality" in your judgment? For me, it's not a concern, since it is a post by a reputable place - but you may find this question coming up.
 * where he was a member of the board of directors and past president - awkward phrasing, to me, though not sure why. consider something like "where he had been a member of the board of directors and a past president".
 * can we say a bit more about the The William B. Jordan and Robert Dean Brownlee Endowment? was it formed while he was still living, or was it organized following his death? the first mention of it comes after he had died, so this question is natural to me. likewise Jordan and Brownlee donated over 80 different works of art to the museum - was their endowment run by them before he died, in which case this was at Jordan's direction, or was it from Brownlee's direction? I'm not sure there's even an answer here, but if there is, I would be interested to know
 * May 20, 1995 "for his contributions - comma after yr?
 * Jordan was convinced that it was a work by Yáñez, and Jordan made the purchase with Meadows' support. Subsequently, it was "universally regarded as one of the artist's masterpieces"; it became one of the more important works in the Meadows Museum - how did it become recognized as a work of Yáñez? maybe it's not known, but we're skipping over that if there's sources that say
 * a few uses of the word "noted"; see MOS:SAID for whether you think it is justifiable or not. (the concern is generally POV wording - I don't think that's there, but it is good to note anyway)
 * In the caption Jordan became the founding director of the Meadows Museum in 1967. - it's obvious to me that this is the museum in context, but maybe we can make it the subject of the caption? such as: "The Meadows Museum, where Jordan became the founding director in 1967." maybe not necessary, but feels better (to me)
 * the "MeadowsMuseum1" and "MeadowsMuseum2" are odd to me - maybe it's standard practice (I've never had to cite two webpages from the same site in harvard), but thought to let you know
 * maybe I am misunderstanding but there is some inconsistency in serial comma usage. compare: Four Figures on a Step (1655–1660) by Murillo and Portrait of Don Pedro de Barberana y Aparregui (1631–1633) by Velázquez with other antiquities such as silver works, ceramics, and sculptures