Wikipedia:Peer review/WrestleMania XXIV/archive1

WrestleMania XXIV

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to see it reach FA status. Thanks,  iMa tth ew  22:35, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

SRX

 * At the Royal Rumble pay-per-view event in January, Cena won the Royal Rumble match, where thirty wrestlers compete in a ring and are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope. - this has to be in past tense.-- S R X  00:21, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Nikki
Nikki 311  23:25, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * "At the Royal Rumble pay-per-view event in January, Cena won the Royal Rumble match, a match where thirty superstars compete in a ring and are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and became the number one contender to the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXIV." - this is a run-on
 * "The next night on Raw, one of WWE's primary television programs, after Cena argued that he deserved another WWE Championship match, Raw General Manager William Regal (Darren Matthews), who is portrayed as a matchmaker and rules enforcer, announced that Cena would face Orton later in the night with the stipulation being if Cena won, he would be added to the WrestleMania match between Triple H and Orton, making it a Triple Threat match, or a standard match that involves three wrestlers." - this is also a run-on
 * Spot should probably be defined the first time it is used. I don't think the contextual clues make it 100% clear.
 * Done.  iMa tth ew  22:16, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

Giants2008
Overall, I think it still needs work before being sent to FAC. Keep working on it, though, because it has great potential.  Giants2008  ( 17-14 ) 21:30, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Are citations in the lead needed for the match results? They all look to be cited in the body already.
 * Redundancy here: "The record-breaking Citrus Bowl attendance record..." Too many records.
 * At the bottom, I see a few source concerns. References 1 and 12 need publishers, and I see a few questionable sources, including a Flickr photo and betweentheropes.com.
 * Background: "Cena won the Royal Rumble match, a match (repetitive) where thirty superstars (might set off POV alarms; recommend wrestlers instead) compete in a ring (where else would they be competing?) and are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope (comma here) and became the number one contender to the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXIV."
 * The sentence about the Monday Night Raw after No Way Out is a run-on in my mind. I would stop and start a new sentence after Regal announced the match.
 * Production: First off, great idea for a section. This will eventually set a new standard for all wrestling articles to follow. I'd like a change to this sentence, though: "In the March 2008 issue of WWE Magazine, WWE set designer Jason Robinson revealed that a steel rig with a tarpaulin roof would be built above the ring itself to prevent rain." A roof can't prevent rain; only Mother Nature can. This should say that it was to prevent rain from falling on the ring.
 * Done, thanks!  iMa tth ew  22:25, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

Brianboulton
Sorry to have been a while getting here. I've only been able to look at lead and Background but as you see, I have quite a long list, mainly of minor points. I also have a general question, which has occurred to me before, in relation to other articles: why is so much detail thought necessary in wrestling articles, compared to those for other sports?
 * Lead
 * "entirely outdoors"? I would have though "entirely" was superfluous since, surely, tournaments are either indoors or outdoors.
 * "Nine professional wrestling matches were scheduled on the event’s card, which featured a supercard, a scheduling of more than one main event". A bit clumsy and repetitive. Slight rewording would remove repetition and clarify, e.g.: “"Nine professional wrestling matches were programmed for the event, which featured a supercard, a scheduling of more than one main bout”.
 * Next sentence: "first" requires more definition, e.g. "The first of these was..."
 * Need to identify ECW – spell out on first mention
 * Clarify what title Kane won, since the words "to win the title" have been used earlier in the paragraph
 * In the third para, "thirty million dollars" should appear as $30 million (see last line). There are also some no-break space issues with 21 countries, 50 states.
 * How do you fix this?  iMa tth ew  22:27, 14 November 2008 (UTC)


 * Background
 * "eight professional wrestling matches..." It was nine in lead
 * "different" in first line is unnecessary
 * "The prominent rivalry..." Suggest "predominant" (as used later)
 * Transfer "that same night" to the beginning of its sentence: "That same night, Triple-H also became..."
 * Two number one contenders? How does that work?
 * Where is that?  iMa tth ew  22:50, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Delete "after" before "Cena"
 * (next sentence) "...enforcer, then announced..."
 * "in the night" should be "that night"
 * "being if Cena won..." should be "that if Cena should win,..."
 * "...a Triple Threat match, or a standard match..." Are these alternatives? If not, the "or" is not necessary.
 * "If Orton won" should be "If Orton should win..."
 * Last sentence of para looks in need of a "however": "However, Cena won the match, and was..."
 * "Undertaker won the match..." Isn’t he called The Undertaker? Check several mentions
 * "last eliminating...": "last" should be an adverb, "lastly" or "finally"
 * "Edge claimed..." would be better as "Edged predicted..."
 * Could there be some brief indication as to why Paul Wight’s return was a "surprise"?
 * "...the next match Flair loses would result in a forced retirement for Flair." Suggest reword: "...the next match Flair lost would result in his forced retirement".
 * "Flair also said" - no need for "also"
 * "Flair mentioned that he was asked..." should be "Flair mentioned that he had been asked..."
 * Also, "Flair, however, had refused..."
 * What is the purpose of the words "from ECW" after the bracketed information? They don’t appear to make sense
 * "...to determine the participants in the match..." Need to say which match.
 * "on the edition on that night’s edition.."? Remove "on the edition"
 * Full stop required after (Nelson Frazier Jr) as sentence ends here.

Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * In reply to your general question, it's because wrestling is not mainly a sport, but a scripted work and is sports entertainment (film and action), which requires background to how the scripts worked and how the event cameabout. S R X  20:58, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Done.  iMa tth ew  22:50, 14 November 2008 (UTC)