Wikipedia:Peer review/Yotsuba Koiwai/archive1

Yotsuba Koiwai
I've done as much as I know how to improve the article (well, aside from finishing tracking down the unverified fact) and would like any guidance as to what else to do -- especially in the absence of guidelines for character articles at WP:MOS-MANGA. If possible, I'd like to take this to GAC. —Quasirandom 20:59, 26 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 23:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)


 * The article is currently very short ~700 words. Consider adding more information. Some ideas may include information about the character's Production, the Character's role in the fictional work, etc. G.A.S 19:38, 9 October 2007 (UTC)


 * The importance of some of the facts are unknown to me: "She is an excellent swimmer, but not as good an artist as she thinks she is." Why is this mentioned? Does it play an important role in the story? (Be careful not to G.A.S 19:38, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Both of those are key in specific chapters. I'd left them in as examples of unexpected competance and incompetance, respectively (and, well, because they tickle my whimsy -- it's as easy, in these things, to get to dry as too overloaded with trivia). Though, be careful not to what? —Quasirandom 03:44, 10 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Oops—I seemed to have over typed there—Be careful not to make something seem more important than it is... G.A.S 06:26, 10 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Please explain the importance of those facts in the article (I.e. just provide information about why you gave the example—is it something a reviewer noted?/Major plot item?) Please provide the chapters—it helps to keep an out of universe view; and provides information that it is not necessarily important in the series, as much as in a chapter. G.A.S 06:26, 10 October 2007 (UTC)


 * The article does not explain why the character does what she does (both in the fiction, as well as why did the writer decide the character does what she (the character) does. If possible, this should be expanded. G.A.S 19:38, 9 October 2007 (UTC)


 * Regarding reception: Add, if possible, more details about the character's reception in general. I would prefer the article not mentioning the reviewers' names in the text (Unless the names could be linked to an article about the reviewer—if the reviewer is notable enough). This information can rather be provided in the citation. G.A.S 19:38, 9 October 2007 (UTC)


 * The article seems not to appropriately distinguish between fact and fiction; and often it seems to speak about the character as if the character is real. An example of this is "Few details of her life before the series begins are known" which could be fixed as "The series does not provide details of the character's life before the start of the series" (My wording is obviously not perfect, but illustrates the issue.) G.A.S 19:38, 9 October 2007 (UTC)


 * The article seems to include original research: For instance "She seems to have no..." G.A.S 19:38, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks. All good points to consider/work on. —Quasirandom 03:25, 10 October 2007 (UTC)