Wikipedia:Peer review/You Only Move Twice/archive1

You Only Move Twice
The page is modelled after current FAs Cape Feare and Homer's Phobia. Any suggestions that anyone has would be greatly appreciated. Also, I'm curious if anyone thinks that Image:YOMTlying.png should be removed. -- Scorpion 16:56, 16 April 2007 (UTC)

Michaelas10
Ah, my favorite The Simpsons episode. It needs copyediting I'm afraid.
 * Albert Brooks voiced > Albert Brooks-voiced.
 * ...and IGN.com named Albert Brooks' performance as Hank Scorpio the best guest spot in the show's history - Link IGN without .com, "Albert Brooks' performance as Hank Scorpio" redundant with previous sentence.
 * "Also" often used excessively.
 * saying "The episode is... - Take "the episode" outside the quotations.
 * ...comedy," and, "it's impossible - Use.
 * The authors of the book I Can't Believe It's a Bigger and Better Updated Unofficial Simpsons Guide, Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood - Move "Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood" to the beginning of the sentence.
 * ...called it "A tremendous episode" citing that it had - Uncapitalize "a", this isn't a sentence beginning. Comma before "citing". "That" redundant.
 * big action films - Remove "big".
 * ...makes an appearance - Where?
 * ...after American American army general - Just change to "U.S. army". No need in the first "American", as it's obvious.
 * The song at the end of the show is a parody of various Bond themes and was written by Ken Keeler - The show in general? Move "written by Ken Keeler" earlier.
 * There are also references to several other Bond films, such as Sean Connery's Bond is tackled by Homer and killed - Grammar.
 * Homer buys Tom Landry's hat,[3] and not long after this episode aired, the Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl - Remove the sentence, not a cultural reference. Michael as 10 19:17, 16 April 2007 (UTC)
 * Done and done. Thanks for the review. -- Scorpion 20:53, 16 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Needs section about the writing of the episode. I think the Reception section need more than just ratings it was given and quotes. Buc 20:36, 25 April 2007 (UTC)
 * Everything from the production section comes from the DVD commentary, so thats about all the production info that can be found. There is some info about the writing in the section. -- Scorpion 20:43, 25 April 2007 (UTC)
 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, Ruhrfisch 02:44, 5 May 2007 (UTC)