Wikipedia:Please bite the newbies

Wikipedia always has lots of newcomers that drive you up the wall. We must be extremely hostile to them and always assume that they want to destroy our precious wiki in order to have them understand the true meaning of Wikipedia.

New members often seem all sweetness and light at first, but most turn out to be vandals and bad-faith editors at the end. Therefore, it is very important to assume bad faith and bite them. Hard. So if you see a newcomer do ANYTHING remotely wrong, go ahead and bite their damn ass. Newbies are often delicious if you bite them right, and you will achieve great satisfaction by doing so.

Definition of a 'newbie'
In general, a newbie is an editor who joined Wikipedia this very moment. However, some say that any Wikipedia member that joined after 2001 is a newbie. Therefore, we must learn to bite each other and even ourselves – even if you have been editing Wikipedia since Jimbo Wales.

How to bite a newbie

 * Assume bad faith
 * Use very strong words
 * Confuse them with Wikipedia jargon
 * Revert their edits, even if they are constructive (make sure to use edit summaries such as "reverting vandalism", "reverting troll" and "reverting sockpuppet", even if they are reverting vandalism themselves).
 * Tag their articles for (preferably speedy) deletion
 * Report them to the administrators' noticeboard
 * Threaten to put them on trial at ArbCom (or even actually do it)
 * Respond to their reports of problems in articles by telling them they have to do it in a "change X to Y format"
 * Threaten to sue them

Userbox
If you have succeeded in biting newbies, be sure to add the following userboxes to your userpage:

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...what the hell is this?