Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 10

User:Nicholasatkins/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
Nicholasatkins (talk) 05:12, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * I moved the draft to a better name, User:Nicholasatkins/Tony Atkins.


 * Please could you put the references into the actual body-text, as inline citations. I will add help about this, on your own user talk page.


 * Also, note that FaceBook is not a reliable source.


 * And Wikipedia itself should not be used as a reference, instead it should be used in wikilinks, e.g. writing in the text;

he was Resident Medical Officer at The Alfred Hospital

born in Elwood

...which appears as...

he was Resident Medical Officer at The Alfred Hospital

born in Elwood


 * See WP:LINKING for help with that.

 Chzz  ► 20:44, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Bird Group
DebbieHaldur (talk) 11:44, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Some of the article is not a neutral point-of-view, for example the world’s leading airlines, a leading global distribution system.


 * There are facts with no references, which have been 'tagged' as.


 * Please always fill in the edit summary when you make edits.


 * Also, please read about conflict of interest and best practices.  Chzz  ► 20:52, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Lord Krishna College of Engineering
Wanted to get this article reviewed. Thanks

Papasj (talk) 13:07, 10 August 2010 (UTC)
 * The article is okay, but try not to rely on just references from the official site if you can; for example, news articles are a good reference so if you could find any of those that would be nice. Also, consider shortening the article - for example, just a sentence briefly summarising the sports facilities would be better and more neutral in tone than listing all of them. Thanks, and I hope this is useful. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 13:28, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Hagelberg FH 50
Hello, can someone just take a gander at my article and take the new article tab off. If there are errors, feel free to fix them.

Mcroyarms (talk) 15:10, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Vetlevg/John Snow
Hi. Do you think this article would be accepted by Wikipedia? Anything I should change? Thanks, VG.

Vetlevg (talk) 15:11, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Does a single sentence really warrent an entire article page by itself?Robertsullivan1973 (talk)RobertSullivan1973

Lauri Vahtre
Everything should be ok, but I'd like to get rid of the 'new unreviewed article' template. Thanks for your help!

Beritteeaar (talk) 15:37, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * I've removed the 'unreviewed', but I note that there are no inline citations, and there is only one reference. Also, there are links to external websites within the body, which is not normally permitted; see WP:EL.


 * You need to add more references to independent, reliable sources to show that the person is notable.


 * Best,  Chzz  ► 21:00, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! I have removed the external links from the text, except the books (for the moment) as I wasn't quite sure about them. Can they be linked to the Google books, which I have noticed in some cases?

User:Matt22thatsme/Enter your new article name here
I am using this law firm because I was hit by a car on my bike but I tried to find information on them and couldn't locate anything besides their website so I started this wikipedia. I'm new to creating wikipedia pages so I am seeking feedback on how I did.

This is some information about the lawfirm that I could find online and by talking with the attorney who is doing my case. Hoping this page gets posted, and the unreviewed "stamp" is removed. Thanks Cheers!

Matt22thatsme (talk) 16:08, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * It looks OK.


 * I added details to the references with this edit, using.


 * You can make it live yourself, just by moving the page to the title "Cartwright, Scruggs, Fulton, and Walther".


 * You could also submit it as a "Did you know..." nomination, so that it appears on the main page.


 * Beyond that, see WP:DEVELOP.


 * If you have trouble with that, just put a on your own user talk page, or ask for help live, with this link.  Chzz  ►  21:20, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Confirming the legend/story with the Acadia Nat'l Park.
Confirming the story / legend with Acadia Nat'l Park.

PatriotD32 (talk) 16:32, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Hi there. I am not sure what you are asking about.


 * This page is for asking for 'feedback' on new articles.


 * Perhaps you want to ask something on the reference desk.  Chzz  ► 21:22, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Xiaogang_AU/SHENG_Xue
This is my very first article on en.wikipedia, please give some feedback. Thanks

Xiaogang AU (talk) 17:02, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * You must say where the information comes from, giving reliable sources, please see WP:VRS and WP:FIRST.  Chzz  ► 21:25, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Parrot Corporation Limited
I have been an editor and vandalism reverser for a while, but only recently registered as an editor. I decided to contribute an article to the Wiki and would appreciate any constructive criticism. I hope the article meets the notability and source rules required. Thanks.

Mulletsrokkify (talk) 19:08, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Looks OK, as in, it meets notability requirements, sure.


 * I've done some stuff to the references; see this edit - I used to add details.


 * I've removed the 'unreviewed' thing, and I made a few more minor fixes.


 * I suggest you submit it as a "Did you know..." while it is new, so it appears on the main page.


 * The lede should be longer; beyond that, see WP:DEVELOP and maybe get a peer review. Cheers,  Chzz  ► 03:36, 11 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Thanks for your feedback. I'll make the improvements to the lede and I'll submit it as suggested.


 * Thanks for taking time out to do this! --Mulletsrokkify (talk) 19:05, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

Panama Jazz Festival
This is my first time writing an article on Wikipedia... Please review my article, so that I can publish it! :D

Dapaz (talk) 20:32, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

The Skin Cancer Foundation
As per requests, I've clarified citations/references. Please have a look. Thanks!

ElizabethEditor (talk) 20:47, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Maria Cardona
Looking for another user to review this article. Thanks!

EveCast (talk) 20:58, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * This has no references. Articles must have references to reliable sources; see WP:VRS, WP:FIRST.  Chzz  ► 21:29, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Fernanjo/SF_Playhouse
I've made a few changes that were suggested last time I requested feedback, wondering if people could provide a little more advice on whether or not this article might be ready for the mainspace

Thanks!! Fernanjo (talk) 21:41, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * It establishes notability, and I see no major problems, so I suggest making it live, and letting others edit it too. Possibly the 'seasons' are too much of a listing (WP:NOTDIR) but, that can be up for discussion. So, move it to the live area, and see what happens (is my opinion).  Chzz  ► 03:14, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/draft/players/520743 http://ballstatesports.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=14200&ATCLID=1470196  http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/player/profile?playerId=168590
A 2007 American Football Coaches Association All-America First Team selection, Chris Miller ranked third in the country in punting with a 45.4 average a year ago while helping the Cardinals to a 7-6 overall record, a Mid-American Conference West Division Co-Championship and the school’s first bowl berth since the 1996 campaign. Miller, who was also named to the 2007 Playboy Magazine Preseason All-America Team, was one of 10 semifinalists for the Ray Guy Award last fall, which goes to the nation’s most outstanding punter.

Miller has 186 career punts for 8,386 career punt yards and a 45.1 career average. His 186 punts rank as the fifth highest career total in Ball State history, while the 8,386 yards is the third highest career total in Ball State annals.

A year ago, Miller became only the second Ball State player to be named to the Playboy Magazine Preseason All-America Team. He joins former Ball State punter Brad Maynard as Ball State’s only two selections to the squad.

Cdmiller35 (talk) 21:59, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * This page is to ask for feedback on articles that already exist, as either a user-space draft or a live article. (Use the link, there, to make a draft).


 * Otherwise...try WP:WIZARD...and read WP:FIRST.  Chzz  ► 03:06, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Wonders_of_the_World_(album)
I justed wanted to put in a request for my article to be reviewed, thanks.

Andyman1125 (talk) 22:16, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * It needs more independent reliable sources, such as newspaper articles about it; discogs and allmusic are not sufficient; we need to see why it is notable.


 * In particular, be careful about the 'personnel' - see WP:NPF.


 * For 'Idea' - direct quotations must have a reference to a reliable source, directly after them.


 * a refined tempo and instrumental progression that outlines each wonder's attributes is definitely not a neutral point-of view - you can only say things like that as direct quotations, and then with care; you need to show a balance of criticism.  Chzz  ► 03:10, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

York Cricket Club
Grateful for thoughts on my first entry. Not sure when to use references and when to list as outside links. Many thanks in advance!

Stattoma (talk) 22:21, 10 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Hi there. You're doing fine...however, you need to add more references to show why the club is 'notable' - which, in Wikipedia, means you need to show 'significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject' - that is, for example, some newspaper articles about the club. See WP:VRS, WP:GNG.


 * Also, currently, the parts about York Cricket Club won the ECB National Club Cricket Championship in 1975. and The club coach is former Yorkshire player Jim Love. do not have references; it needs reliable sources - it has to be verifiable.


 * Same for "Honours" - currently, it has no references; the reader needs to be able to 'check the facts'.  Chzz  ► 03:03, 11 August 2010 (UTC)