Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 16

Jim Lemley
Hello Editor,

I made this page a few weeks ago and then received your feedback. I have made the changes you have requested, including adding inline citations, removing imdb.com as a source and fixing the fandango link.

Please send me feedback as I am very excited for the page to go live :)

My original post: I've created a page for tv and film producer Jim Lemley. I have thoroughly outlined his career, early life, filmography, etc. Can someone please review it so the "new unreviewed" box goes away? How do I get feedback faster?

Editor Response: BrookieFisher (talk) 21:57, 6 August 2010 (UTC) Please add inline citations, so that we can see which reliable sources reference which facts. Note that IMDB is not a reliable sourrce. This link] to 'fandango' does not work. It needs to be verifiable. Wikipedia:Say where you got it. Chzz ►  07:22, 8 August 2010 (UTC)

BrookieFisher (talk) 04:02, 16 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Bejinhan's comments Bejinhan   talks   06:45, 17 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Large portions of the article still remains un-sourced. A couple of examples are:-


 * Jim Lemley (born March 9, 1965) is an American film and television producer based in Los Angeles and Paris. Throughout his career, he has collaborated with leading directors, actors, and producers to create both critically acclaimed and commercially successful films.


 * After starting his career in New York working in the music business for Island Records, Lemley moved to Los Angeles to pursue film. He then spent time at both Disney and Universal before joining Icon Entertainment in 1992.


 * Please get those^^ and the others sourced.


 * The link in the External links section does not fit into there. Please read WP:External link. I've changed it so that a link to Lemley's IMDB profile goes in there. If he has an official website, its link should go under that section too.


 * I added some internal links to certain words, such as to the Order of the British Empire and the University of Idaho.


 * I made some minor rearrangements. The 'Early life' section should come first before the 'Career' section.


 * Other than the unreferenced sections, the article looks okay now. You can take a look at what I did here.

Beckon Services And Technologies
R@Ms 06:59, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Hoheys/The Recording of the Israel Declaration of Independence
This article is based on an Hebrew article on the same subject. By mistake I've already posted it live

Hoheys (talk) 08:53, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi, I've marked it for deletion using db-g7 on your behalf. Remove the template before deletion if you have changed your mind. Fæ (talk) 17:26, 17 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Hi, I've asked a review of the article on my User:Hoheys/ but have not received any yet. I actually didn't mean to delete the live article, only to point out my mistake. I'll appreciate your advice on the common practice in such a situation, namely: To leave the live article or not? To wait for a review? If there will not be any review, maybe going live will expose the article to many more readers? Thanks.Hoheys (talk) 09:16, 18 August 2010 (UTC)

World Database on Protected Areas
Please provide feedback on this new page. Many thanks.

Theatricalpegasus (talk) 10:05, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

User:BARRYJ123/The International Guild of Photographic Mastery
Please review this page for me, many thanks.

BARRYJ123 (talk) 12:18, 16 August 2010 (UTC)


 * You may want to use a more standard Infobox rather than the enormous box you have created. The article does not currently establish notability and is likely to be deleted if issued as a new article. You must find independent reliable sources to establish that the group's impact on the wider community. See WP:Notability (organizations and companies) for some guidance criteria. Fæ (talk) 17:36, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

Purolator USA
This article is a coporate overview of Purolator USA. Purolator USA has ties to Purolator Courier, the largest courier company in Canada. This article provides a detailed description of the corporation in the US and its connection to Purolator Courier. This article has been reviewed twice while in my user space, once made "live" a notification appeared to have it reviewed again.

Kprevet (talk) 12:35, 16 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Well, it is very spammy and not very well sourced. I'd suggest just losing the list of office locations. The business developments and community involvement section need reliable sources or they may be deleted--the business week article is good, but links to the company's web site and press releases are not very good sources. For the awards section, it is not sufficient to link to a top level of a web site, you really need to link to a page supporting the statement in the article. -- Nuujinn (talk) 14:32, 18 August 2010 (UTC)

User:DrSwitched/Win95/Drill
General feedback.

DrSwitched (talk) 13:05, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you need more references for the article. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 16:57, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Svilentcho/nasekomix
This is my first article in the English Wiki, so I would appreciate any feedback.

Svilentcho (talk) 14:18, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice article, but I think you need more references for the 'Beginning' section. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 17:00, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Koconnor001/Jerry Segal
I have just created a page on a person, Jerry Segal. Would like some feedback so it can be moved to the main space instead of workspace. Thanks

Koconnor001 (talk) 16:07, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Interesting article, but consider adding an infobox, such as Template:Infobox person. Chevy  monte  carlo  03:40, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Roamware&action=submit
Roamware (talk) 17:33, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry, but the article you linked to doesn't appear to exist. Please provide a correct link. Chevy  monte  carlo  03:43, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

QA Technologies
Looking for some insight so I can get my article published. Advance thanks for your time.

Suzy Huber (talk) 17:58, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

SnapStream Server
Dear Editors,

Would you glance over this article? I've had it up for a couple of weeks now and would appreciate your input. Note, it pertains to the parent article: SnapStream Media.

Thanks for your advisement!

RachEich (talk) 18:12, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * It's quite a good article, but be careful with the article's tone and style. Chevy  monte  carlo  03:34, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Cheitz27/Audimated
This page summarizes the website audimated.com, which is designed as a social networking site for independent musicians and their fans. A summary of the creator's idea for the website is described, along with a more detailed history of the company and the concept of audimated. The article also lists recent attention audimated has earned, specifically including reliable sources from media outlets like the Wall Street Journal.

Cheitz27 (talk) 19:52, 16 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Consider adding an Infobox to the article, and maybe also some Categories as well. Chevy  monte  carlo  03:32, 17 August 2010 (UTC)