Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 19

user:Paulschn/Colburn Automobile
Please help with this article

Paulschn (talk) 00:19, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ntrafi
Klarino2 (talk) 02:06, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaycen_Joshua
Please help w/ adding a picture and validating the article!

Jaycenjoshua (talk) 06:21, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazma_Ali_(artist)
Hselwyn (talk) 08:28, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

[[Huen_ten:Eric Peters]
Please check the article and change language and style if necessary.

Thank you for your efforts!

Huen Tén

Huen ten (talk) 10:39, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Radu rzv/ Bell Packaging
Hello!Sorry about the previous atempt, I didn't realised that I'm not properly logged in. Whould you please leave feedback on the above article here. Many Thanks!

Radu rzv (talk) 11:08, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_Returns_(play)
General feedback please!

Joshua.a.black (talk) 11:57, 19 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Great little article with plenty of notability (as the young Wikipedians like to say). There are lots of newspaper articles discussing this play and they could be added as references (I added one). The article could be expanded a bit - explain the Saturn Returns idea, more on the plot and maybe list some of the crew like set designers. Overall: now I feel like seeing this play - good work! P.S. feel free to ask me for any assistance you may require.--Commander Keane (talk) 05:42, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asynchronous_Synchronous_Post_Feedback_Mechanism
Instead of using the Future object (JAVA or Boost Future for C++) or any other underlying synchronously implemented solution this approach would provide more true asynchronous nature to the implementation.

Sumeet.chhetri (talk) 12:09, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

Northeastern University College of Computer and Information Science
Recently created this page. I believe it needs to be reviewed (my first wiki article). It is an article about the College of Computer and Information Science at Northeastern University.

38.104.7.206 (talk) 12:47, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

Sorry didn't log in. Redsox59 (talk) 12:48, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

Your opinion is important for me! e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Streetmobster
Streetmobster (talk) 13:42, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

Give me your opinion its important for me! e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hanovete/Khan_Wars
Hanovete (talk) 13:44, 19 August 2010 (UTC)

Little support from u :) e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Popular
Hey guys,

Could you please have a look on this page and if you have some comments, please feel free to discuss it with me! Thanks 4 your time! :)

Hanovete (talk) 13:48, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * There are many problems with this article. I recommend you ask for opinions at the Help Desk instead. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:56, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

Big Bear Trophy
Requesting feedback for new article on Big Bear Trophy

Davidpedia (talk) 13:50, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Interesting article, although try and add some names to those references, like this:

Also, try and add some links to other Wikipedia articles. Please send me a message if you need any help with this. Thank you. Chevy monte  carlo  - alt 19:52, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uffe_Elb%C3%A6k
I am currently trying to create a new entry for a man by the name of Uffe Elbæk. He is a Danish entreprenuer and creator of a new style of business school in Denmark which is catching the eye of other countries. Yet as of today there is actually little information available in English about his work. I have attached links to Ted Talks that Uffe Elbæk as been a part of in Canada, USA, and Asia. I am still seeking to include more links but would like to know if you think this guy is worthy of mention in Wikipedia with the information that I have provided?

Javier Leocadio Colon 13:57, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Please try and use inline citations to help you display your references correctly, and try and add some names to your references and external links. If you need any help with this, please send me a message. Finally, consider adding an infobox and possibly more categories, although this isn't as important as another user is likely to come along and add them for you if the article is tagged appropriately. I hope you understand all of this, and it's useful. Thanks. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:47, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Huen_ten/Eric_Peters
I need helpt to make this article to an official one. There is another Eric Peters on Wiki. Isn't it possible to create two different articels by the same name?

Cheers

The Lady In The Moon 14:18, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * No, two articles cannot have the same name; Wikipedia just doesn't work like that. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:44, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Tjcmorgan/Voice Navigator
Hi please review this page for publication. Thanks

-- tm 14:35, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you need to try and add some names to the references, like this:

Example sentence in the article. Also, try and add some further references to the article if you can. Finally, try and add some links to other Wikipedia articles as well, to supplement the ones you already have. I hope you understand all of this! Chevy monte  carlo  - alt 19:41, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Standards setters/Accounting Standards Oversight Council
I've added in resources.. please review.

Thanks!

Standards setters (talk) 14:50, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi, I have a few points to make.
 * It is not usual to develop an article on your actual user page; I have moved it to a sub page. I have created a very basic user page for you; I hope you don't mind; the user page is really a page about you as a user.  You can add all sorts of things to your userpage if you think it will help other Wikipedians to understand you but I have assumed that you only created a draft article there through inexperience.
 * I have made a couple of very basic changes to the draft article.
 * You may want to have a think about the WP:Layout of the article.
 * Is AcSOC mentioned in any independent sources? i.e. sources not produced by AcSOC or CICA.  A good such source might be a newspaper article.  What do these sources say about AcSOC?  Citing independent sources is essential to show WP:Notability.  If you can't show notability, it may be more appropriate to take the most important information from your draft and put it in the article on the Canadian Institute of Chartered Accountants.
 * Yaris678 (talk) 13:32, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

Jerry Nelson (astronomer)
Please review this new article based on 13 sources. If appropriate, remove the "new unreviewed article" tag from the article. RichardMathews (talk) 17:25, 19 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Bejinhan's comments Bejinhan   talks   11:04, 20 August 2010 (UTC)


 * I copyedited the article a little bit. What I did was divide the article into sections, 'Education' and 'Career', so that it will be easier for reading. I also used the "" tags for the couple of quotes, removed a blacklisted source and added sources for the awards. Article looks good now and I've removed the reviewed template.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Thischiefmeans/Jaime_Levy_Russel
I drafted an article on Jaime Levy Russell, an interface designer and user experience strategist, who is best known for her groundbreaking new media projects in the 1990s. I would like some feedback on the article before I make it live.

Thanks!

Thischiefmeans (talk) 17:29, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some categories to the article, some links to other Wikipedia articles, and maybe some more web references as well if you can. Thanks, Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:33, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Southburlington/chromat
Summary: Chromat is a clothing label based in NYC designed by architects Becca McCharen and Emily Kappes.

Question: This is my first article- what do you think? Thanks so much for looking!

Southburlington (talk) 17:53, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you need to try and add some more categories to the article, as most of the ones you have at the moment don't exist (they are in red). Also, consider adding an infobox and possibly expansion. Thank you. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:29, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Bradford Smith/Barto and Mann
Dear Volunteer Editor, "Barto and Mann" is my first attempt at writing a Wikipedia article. I would very much appreciate any comments regarding how to improve style, format, technical issues, etc.

Thank you.

Brad Smith 18:05, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * N.B. The article has moved around a bit, but is now at Barto and Mann. Yaris678 (talk) 12:54, 22 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you need to work on adding some categories, and some more links to other articles if you can. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:25, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

Ingham Consult
Any comments are very welcome. Thanks.

ICharlie10 (talk) 18:10, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * You need some categories, more web references if you can, and finally try and make the article's tone more neutral, because in places it sounds like an advertisement for the company. Phrases like 'one of the world's leading' should only be included if there are sufficient references to prove it. Thanks. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:20, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AKasmy/Karel_Albert_Rudolf_Bosscha
This is my first attempt on creating an article, any help will be appreciated to develop it (reference, links, layout, etc)... And maybe help out with grammatical errors. English isn't my native tongue. Thanks...

AKasmy (talk) 20:31, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some sections, an infobox and finally some more references if you can. Also, I think you need to try and add more links to other Wikipedia articles as well. I hope this is useful! Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:17, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Muralizer/CITYarts,_Inc.
I have just finished writing this draft and would like to start the process of editing and getting feedback. I would like to move this article into the main wikipedia space provided nothing is grievously wrong. The article is about a non-profit arts organization call CITYarts, Inc., located in New York City.

Muralizer (talk) 20:38, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I replied to your entry below. In the meantime, please do not make multiple requests for the same article unless major changes/improvements have been made. Thank you. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:14, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

CITYarts, Inc.
I just moved a brand new article from a subpage to mainspace. It has yet to be edited.

Muralizer (talk) 20:46, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add maybe some web references to add to the magazine/newspaper/book references you already have, and also an infobox perhaps as well. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:09, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Morgankevinj/Blood_Money_(documentary)
I would like your feedback because this will be my first article and it is on a documentary about Planned Parenthood so it is controversial.

Thank you for your time, Morgankevinj (talk) 02:27, 20 August 2010 (UTC)
 * You are right that the subject is controversial so I can see that this is a tricky one. To improve the neutrality and completeness of the article I suggest three additions:
 * In the section "Allegations against Planned Parenthood", you should state whether the allegations were accepted or rejected by Planned Parenthood and what reasons they gave.
 * In the "Controversy over the premiere of the film" section you should explain why the protestors threatened to protest.
 * How has the film been received by critics outside of the abortion debate? For example, did it get any good or bad reviews?
 * Yaris678 (talk) 12:46, 22 August 2010 (UTC)


 * I am not aware of any response to the movie by Planned Parenthood.
 * I will work on that.
 * I can not find any neutral reviews at this time.
 * Morgankevinj (talk) 19:41, 24 August 2010 (UTC)