Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 23

User:Timster132/SONAmusicgroup
This article is about a popular singing group in the American Midwest in the first decade of the twenty first century. Please look it over. I welcome any comments, praises, suggestions, etc. Thanks. Timster132

Timster132 (talk) 02:08, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some names to those references, like this:

Also, I think some sort of infobox needs to be added as well. Chevy monte  carlo  08:40, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

L.K. Samuels
This is a concise entry providing basic information on the political activist and writer Lawrence K. Samuels for people interested in his accomplishments and history.

Ratn9ne (talk) 05:19, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * A few things:

If you need any help with this please send me a message. I hope you understand this. Chevy monte  carlo  08:37, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some web references to add to the printed references that you already have.
 * Consider adding an infobox to the article.
 * Finally, think about maybe adding more links to other Wikipedia articles to the article.

User:Garth79/Stead House
This is an article about a Hertiage listed estate in Sydney's Inner West. I know the topic may not be of interest to everyone but I'd like as much feedback as possible. Layout? Spelling? and most importantly... my sources and references? This is my first ever article and I'd hate to see it deleted!

Garth79 (talk) 05:48, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Please use inline citations to display your references correctly, and add names to the references as well, if you can. If you need any help with this, please send me a message. Chevy  monte  carlo  08:33, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

Credo (card game)
Should I add a summary of gameplay? I used, as a template, the entry for Kill Doctor Lucky, but I can't find a good source online to reference for the gameplay, only ones like: http://everything2.com/title/Credo

DouglasReay (talk) 09:09, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I would reccommend adding perhaps a few more reliable sources (reviewes aren't generally as reliable) and expanding it a little, you might write about it's history and the gameplay. You might also add the game infobox and a picture, if you can. Looks good though! (Leave me a message for help, publishing to mainspace, or to reply.) ~ Qwerp Qwertus  Talk  ツ

Thanks! I'll have a go at adding the info box. While I've played the game, I don't feel comfortable writing about the gameplay, because I don't have a reliable source to reference for it, so it would just be my opinion. I'd rather leave that blank, as a minimal entry that was better than leaving the disambiguation link blank.DouglasReay (talk) 07:07, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

WorldFriends
Please help to review this article, and do let me know what you think can be improved, thanks!

Xanne.lim (talk) 09:28, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and make the article sound less like an advertisement for the service; Wikipedia articles are supposed to be neutral in tone - please see WP:POV and WP:TONE for more information. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 16:48, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Captain Jen/InternationalZooEducators
Draft of International Zoo Educators' Association page. Needs review before going live.

Captain Jen (talk) 11:22, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good, all I might recommend is a few more references that aren't the company's and perhaps an infobox. ~ Qwerp Qwertus  Talk  ツ

User:Research10/Integrity Management
Hello, This is a brief description of an emerging field. Comments and suggestions welcome. Thank you.

Research10 (talk) 12:17, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * You should make sure that you keep a neutral and disinterested tone, avoiding puffery. Also, you might consider adding a few pictures and categories, but other than that, it's pretty good - I'd be happy to publish it to mainspace for you, if you want. ~ Qwerp Qwertus  Talk  ツ

User:Siddhant6433/nimt
The article is about nimt organisation.It's an educational organisation that provides professional education in various fields.The article also provides information about its location and the unversities it is affilated to.

Siddhant6433 (talk) 12:20, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Good job, but you should try to convert some of the lists to prose and, if possible, add a picture to the infobox - I moved it to mainspace for you. ~ Qwerp Qwertus  Talk  ツ

Agency for the Consolidation of Technology in Education
I need someone besides myself, the creator, to review the article so that the 'new unreviewed article' box can disappear. Thank you.

41.211.136.191 (talk) 14:59, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

The Senior Rock: The Untold Story
I, Phillip S. Foster, am the only person alive, who knows of some of the events written in the article. Other events are verifiable in yearbooks and school newsletters, as well as with present-day staff of Branham High School, 1570 Branham Lane San Jose, CA 95118-2201, phone (408) 626-3407. I wrote the article with a reference to Bear Witness, Volume II, Issue 2, November 27, 2002, p 2, where Susan White wrote the article about me and The Senior Rock. I am available for your staff to interview. My mobile phone number is 408-568-1272. Once the article is approved, I will link the text with internal links, and I will cite additional references. I am now 55 years old, and I wish that this information be made available, before I leave this world, by the appointment of God.

Phillipfoster (talk) 17:12, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

Wadleigh High School for Girls
This article is about the first public high school for girls in New York City. It is also notable because of the landmark status of the building and its interesting social history. This is the first article I have written for Wikipedia. Can someone review it so the new, unreviewed box is removed?

Ghoti9560 (talk) 18:19, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Ferhamirdawi/Shortcuts.com
I'd like to post this page live. What do I need to do?

Ferhamirdawi (talk) 18:52, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Rhodesfs/TaxSlayer.com== User:Rhodesfs/TaxSlayer.com ==

Thanks for taking a look at the article CheveyMonte Carlo. I went in and addressed the tone of the article and updated the links. Please advise if the article is up to par for live posting. Thanks again for your prompt help.

Rhodesfs (talk) 19:59, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Clauderoy/Anna Craig
I am writing to see if Anna Craig meets the notable guideline before adding more info and going live with the article. She has had two newspaper articles about her recently releasing a EP (CD) after getting noticed on youtube, where she has over 6500 subscribers and over 1.1 million views. Thank you.

Clauderoy (talk) 20:27, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some names to the references, and some more links to other Wikipedia articles, if you can. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:58, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Colburn Automobile Company
Please give feedback for my new article about the Denver, CO Brass Era car company.

Paulschn (talk) 20:33, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some names to those references, like this:

Also, you might want to add an infobox perhaps. You can use a template like Template:Infobox company or something like that; please contact me if you require help or advice with that. Chevy monte  carlo  - alt 12:55, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback... I have added the infobox and will add names to the references. Paulschn (talk) 22:03, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Put names on the references. Took a bit to figure out the correct symbols to do it! It is nice once I got it done...Thanks Paulschn (talk) 04:16, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Pacific Oaks Federal Credit Union
I'd really like my entry reviewed, and cleaned up. I'm new to contributing and editing, and obviously have much to learn. I have found plenty of similar article to mine (Wescom credit union, Navy Federal Credit union, etc...), but see my entry getting pummeled with warnings.

Thanks!

Pacificoaksfcu (talk) 21:03, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry; the article appears to have been deleted as it was considered to be just an advertisement. Apologies. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:53, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Article deleted as advert, user marked as 'retired'.  Chzz  ► 09:53, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Portledge Manor
Potledge Manor is an English country house in Devon, England. Just asking for a review.

Ijcoffin (talk) 21:13, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Interesting article, however I have a few points:

If you need any help with this, or you would like further comments or suggestions to be made, please send me a message. Thanks! Chevy monte  carlo  - alt 12:50, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Consider adding an infobox, just to summarise the key points about the house. You can use a template like Template:Infobox house, if you wish.
 * Try and find more reliable references, and add them to the article.
 * Consider adding a picture.

Queens Vocational and Technical High School
Brand new to Wikipedia, I'd like some preliminary feedback on the article about Queens Vocational and Technical High School. We will be completing the article later in the fall after students complete a research project. Thank you in advance!

Macdoneg (talk) 22:45, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some names to those references, like this:

Other than that, I think the article is good. Chevy monte  carlo  - alt 12:46, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

User:Rtgates/Rob Schenck
This is my first article and it is a BLP. I have the permission and approval of the individual to write his bio. He is clearly notable and their are lots of references for his exploits. Is it enough? Some things are things he shared with me personally, can those be referenced? What more things need references? I have tried hard but is it sufficiently neutral? I like writing bio's and hope to do more of them, your input will help. Oh, any tips on infobox and adding images would be appreciated. THANKS

R. T. Gates (talk) 22:48, 23 August 2010 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry to say that everything should be referenced to a reliable source - it has to be verifiable.


 * Currently, much of it seems based on your personal knowledge, and is therefore original research - not permitted on Wikipedia. We only publish facts that have been published elsewhere. Unless your findings were themselves published in a newspaper or something, we cannot include them.  Chzz  ► 09:57, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Can I use information that is published elsewhere as an interview with the author. example "where are you from?", "I am from Grand Island, New York". Is that a legitimate reference? I understand that in a BLP, information published by the individual in a press release or web page is fair to use as a reference? R. T. Gates (talk) 17:55, 1 September 2010 (UTC)

Robert Stone (architect)
I would like this to be published. . . lots of references in the article.

69.226.178.110 (talk) 23:33, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
 * The article has already been 'published' (i.e. moved to the main space where people can search for it). Please try and use inline citations to display your references correctly, and try and add some names to the references as well if you can. Also, try and add some more links to other Wikipedia articles, like I have done to the opening sentence. Finally, consider adding an infobox and more references to prove your statements. I hope this is helpful, and if you have any questions please send me a message. Thanks! Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)