Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 28

User:MooWikiMoo/SaraNiemietz
Working on a wikipedia page for an artist I've discovered, but am not sure exactly how to do so. Any help would be greatly appreciated from all of you brilliant wikipedia contributors!

MooWikiMoo (talk) 07:00, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I made a few improvements, but you need more references and maybe some sections as well. Finally, consider adding an Infobox as well. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 16:43, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Renata Bernal
Overall feedback is welcome, although I really have two specific questions about citation that I am eager to get an answer to:

1) Is it appropriate to use a gallery page as a source for biographical information if that page ALSO is trying to tell one of the artist's pieces? (I don't want it seen as an attempt to drive traffic or advertise)

2) The artist has put out a "self-published" DVD where she provides a lot of biographical information (as voice-over while showing her work). This was never published by a professional publisher and is not for sale anywhere... can I cite this as a source? And if so, how do I refer to it?

I have also put these two questions as topics on the talk page, Talk:Renata Bernal

Thanks. Other comments are welcome, as well.

GregTStevens (talk) 13:26, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Answers to your questions...


 * 1) I don't see any problems with using that.
 * 2) That seems like an interesting idea for a reference. There is a probably a special reference tag that you can use; you might want to ask at the Wikipedia help desk or at our Live Help Chat, as I've never heard of any templates that can help. However, I don't know much about that stuff, so something may exist out there ;-)


 * As to the article, it's very well put together and the references are strong. However, be careful with the tone and language of the article, as it's easier to make it sound like an advertisement for the artist. Hope all of this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 16:35, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

William Arnold (settler)
I've greatly revamped the previous article on William Arnold (settler), earnestly trying to dispell old myths that have followed this individual for 130 years. The article I revamped showed uncertainty about the ancestry of William Arnold, and I have attempted to replace that with certainty.

Sarnold17 (talk) 18:37, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some web references, and also perhaps an infobox. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 16:25, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Excavations of the Mind
Hi, I just wanted my article to be reviewed. I'll be making a page for the new band soon, too.

Andy (talk) 19:39, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Excellent article! All the appropriate features and links are there, which is great! Well done with that. Chevy  monte  carlo  10:43, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Coulée Grou
Any comments appreciated.

Driz7 (talk) 19:48, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * The main concern I have with it is that it's not entirely clear just what the Coulée Grou is--I think it's a battle, but there's also references to a monument and a person. That would be the main thing to clear up. Doesn't have to be much, could be as little as the first sentence saying "Coulée Grou was [specific event/thing]..." because right now it's not evident to me. Beyond that, I think it looks good, referencing is good, the writing is good, it's really just the context that needs work, since it's not clear to those who aren't familiar with the subject matter. Cheers, C628 (talk) 01:42, 1 September 2010 (UTC)

Media Appeals Tribunal
This is my second article, so I guess it needs to be cleaned up a bit. KongOlavKonfekt (talk) 20:19, 28 August 2010 (UTC)

This is my second article, so I guess it needs to be cleaned up a bit. I have tried to reference to the best of my abilities.

KongOlavKonfekt (talk) 20:19, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Perhaps try and add some sections to the article, just to break it up into parts that can be more easily read by a potential visitor to the page. For example,

Early life
creates a section with 'early life' as the title. Chevy monte  carlo  07:07, 31 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the feedback! I divided into sections and removed the sections tag. Also added some wikilinks. KongOlavKonfekt (talk) 14:05, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Protection of Information Bill
My first article ever. I have provided references, but there are probably a million other little things that can be improved. KongOlavKonfekt (talk) 20:23, 28 August 2010 (UTC)

KongOlavKonfekt (talk) 20:23, 28 August 2010 (UTC)
 * This is a good start to the article; although try and find a few more references if you can. Actually, you've done a very good job with the article's structure/formatting at least - I can't really spot any things that need to be improved really. Well done. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:04, 31 August 2010 (UTC)