Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 December 15

User:Nadyap/Feasting and Inequality
Nadyap (talk) 01:13, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I think to be honest much of your article is covered already by the various articles at the feast disambiguation page. I also think the article reads more like an essay than an encyclopedic article. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:32, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Tkotc/Bronson Ray
This is a brief article to provide biographical information about a Project Gutenberg author. (See Project Gutenberg author list for more on that project.) There just aren't many sources of information out there. Comments and suggestions appreciated.

Tkotc (talk) 06:55, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I think it's a nicely written little article, as you say there isn't that many sources but I'm not sure whether that's that much of a problem. Be careful with the tone in the article though, particularly with subjects like these where it's easy to make the article just sound like a CV for the person. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:34, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks very much for looking at it. That's about all I have, a CV. If you have any particular suggestions (wording changes) or something concrete I could look at, please feel free to show me (here or my talk page). Again, many thanks.

ME3Gas project
I am in the process of making this article public and would like some feedback on possible mistakes or things to improve

Andreas.Persson (talk) 07:25, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I think much of the article sounds like an advertisement, although from a formatting or layout perspective I think it is very good. You do need to work on the sources though; usually if you find you can't find any it's a sign the article's subject isn't really notable enough. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:36, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Limasenla/Mokokchung Village
This is an entry for the Mokokchung Village in Mokokchung District, Nagaland, India.

Limasenla (talk) 07:49, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

The article needs a lot more references. Generally speaking, every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a reference. You might also like to look at other settlement articles such as this one for ideas on how to set your article out. If you get stuck, these people are probably best placed to help you.--Ykraps (talk) 01:09, 18 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Danieww/Romain Kremer
Is the article good to go like this? I'm new at this so I know I have some days to wait before being able to publish, but are the contents and lay-out good wikiquette? thank you.

Danieww (talk) 12:21, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

If you want this article to survive in the mainspace, it is really important that you establish notability. Generally speaking, a creative professional is deemed notable if:
 * 1.The person is regarded as an important figure or is widely cited by peers or successors.
 * 2.The person is known for originating a significant new concept, theory or technique.
 * 3.The person has created, or played a major role in co-creating, a significant or well-known work, or collective body of work, that has been the subject of an independent book or feature-length film, or of multiple independent periodical articles or reviews.
 * 4.The person's work either (a) has become a significant monument, (b) has been a substantial part of a significant exhibition, (c) has won significant critical attention, or (d) is represented within the permanent collections of several notable galleries or museums.

Once you've established notability, you need to find reliable sources as press releases and own web sites aren't considered independent.--Ykraps (talk) 18:41, 17 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Krain Court/ADMAP GAS
Is this article ok to be published?

Krain Court (talk) 12:43, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

User:RockClaudiaGB/GRIN Campaign
I can't link the references to the appropriate part of the article, also I cannot upload it into the main part of wikipedia. Thank you for your help.

RockClaudiaGB (talk) 12:56, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Regarding referencing. Yes, this markup is confusing when you first start. Look at Citing Sources. Towards the top of this rather lengthy article there is a subsection titled "A quick how-to" which shows you how to use tags. The very useful article How to edit a page towards the bottom has a link to Moving a page, where, part of the way down the article there is a little info box that shows you how to do it. I would recommend soliciting further feedback regarding content, formatting, etc., when you have done this (prior to moving your page). Tkotc (talk) 19:48, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

User:AlithM/Jenny Taylor
Hi, This is my first Wikipedia article - but am really confused re how to do the sourcing and also how and whether to link the publications etc. A lot of the info has come from the subject herself after I suggested she should be on Wikipedia. Any help/feedback gratefully received.

AlithM (talk) 13:07, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

TESS
the article is not listing under People when we search ==

The article is not listing under people when searched for. ASny help?

Stewart h (talk) 14:48, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * If your article is TESS, referring to the "male singer based in the UK", it appears in the encyclopedia if you simply put "TESS" in the search box. Other than determining this, I have not thoroughly reviewed the article. But you should remove the all-capital letters in the music award you cite, and probably should list his works under some kind of subhead. If I were writing the article, I would look at some other musician's article to see how this is done. As always with biographies dealing with living people, especially musicians, I would carefully consider the notion of notability as defined in Notability (music). Possibly put a note on the article's Talk Page making express how you feel this criteria has been met. Tkotc (talk) 20:07, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Wikipedia:Requests for feedback
Prempel (talk) 16:49, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Canadian Pharmacists Journal
Is this article ok for publishing?

Prempel (talk) 16:53, 15 December 2010 (UTC)


 * It looks decent, so I removed the "unreviewed article" tag. There were a few style issues with the section headings. For example, articles don't need an overview section with a separate title, because the lead section (at the top of the page, before the table of contents) is supposed to be an overview. I went ahead and changed those things; I hope you don't mind. The one thing I would advise you to do is find references outside of the journal company itself. A journal this old is almost certainly important enough for a Wikipedia article, but to demonstrate that it is, you need to find outside sources that have written about it. A. Parrot (talk) 19:07, 16 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I have some concerns about the wording in the lede. I made some edits, further discussion is on the article talk page.-- SPhilbrick  T  17:38, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Arelle1/Novacam Technologies
Hi, Could I please get feedback on this (my first) article? Thank you Arelle1 (talk) 17:35, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

The Unraveling
I've been working on this article for a while, and I want to see what else I need to get it uploaded to Good Article status. I had it reviewed yesterday within the Wikiprojects: Albums page and got it upgraded from "C" to "B" status (it was "Stub" when I began, if that means anything), and I copy-edited it a little today.

Silverskylines (talk) 17:39, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Carey Torrice
Please review post for publication.

Eyespy48026 (talk) 19:10, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Dstrob
While conducting research on my family on Ancestry.com in 2008, my family tree took the most unusual turn. After discovering my great-grandparents' names on census records I reached out to find out more about them. I contacted distant relatives I had never known before. They told me that my great-grandparents worked for Kaiser Wilhelm I, the Emperor of Germany and that the true identity of my great-grandmother was Engelbertha Krupp from the famous steel and armaments manufacturer in Essen. I investigated these and other revelations for 18 months and uncovered facts along with photographic evidence to corroborate these and other revelations. I am now reintroducing her to the world and to her rightful place as sole heiress to the Krupp Empire.

Dstrob (talk) 19:57, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Plain Pat
Awoods187 (talk) 20:00, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Featheon/Die Lehre von den Tonempfindungen als physiologische Grundlage f%C3%BCr die Theorie der Musik %28On the Sensations of Tone as a Physiological Basis for the Theory of Music%29
Could any physicists please correct or help me to elaborate the scientific concepts evoked in this article?

Featheon (talk) 21:51, 15 December 2010 (UTC)


 * First you need a shorter title, like Tonempfindungen maybe; at least don't repeat the title translated in parens as part of the article title. And please copy the style of other articles, or read WP:MOS (don't capitalize heading words, use normal heading levels, staring with level 2, etc.).  Technically, you need to be very careful about saying things like that he offered a proof of Ohm's acoustic law; don't add your own explanation, since that's about the flakiest thing Helmholtz ever did.  He even talks about phase sensitivity in there at one point, so balance with that.  He didn't attribute combination tones to nonlinearity in the cochlea, but to nonlinearity outside, before, the cochlea.  It would be better to work from secondary sources that carefully analyze Tomempfindungen than to interpret it yourself.  Dicklyon (talk) 23:16, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Statistical Consultancy Process
I have posted one new page on wikipedia about Consultancy Process. It is something that has not been mentioned before. During my research master I have trained for this kind of consultancy and I decided to post some basic things on wikipedia. I would like to provide me with a feedback on my article in order to improve it. The references are reliable and have been provided by my professors on the university.

Thank you!

Psy1235 (talk) 22:04, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Tucker Middle School
I need help! My article has been accepted, but i need help ranking up my article (link here: Quality ScalePlease help and give me constructive feedback.

-PsiΨ (talk) 23:07, 15 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi, I've given some feedback on the article's talk page (it's a bit long to post here!). --Hermajesty21 (talk) 22:52, 18 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Polikol22/Brockett Elementary School
Need help in creation. Categories and refrences needed.Thanks

-PsiΨ (talk) 23:44, 15 December 2010 (UTC)