Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 December 5

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:9inchsamurai/Gyakusatsu_kikan
I want to know if this is good enough to start a stub as a main page. I believe it is good enough, but let me know what else I could add if this isn't the case.

9inchsamurai (talk) 02:08, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * It's a nice start but I think the article would benefit significantly from an infobox perhaps, but other than that I think the article is about ready to be moved into the main space. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:46, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moose_Knuckles_%28Clothing%29
hi i finally been able to make Moose Knuckles a final page, but for it to stay a page I would need the help from a lot of people, i manage to add proper sources along with proper citation. I feel like i am missing some information along with i need more sources, but due to Moose Knuckles being a new company, i am constantly adding sources when i come across more useful information, so it could stay an official wikipedia article

i also have a talk page User:Demick514/Moose_Knuckles on December 1st.

if anyone has some tips for me i would appreciate it alot thanks

Demick514 (talk) 03:27, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I think the main problem with the article is it's neutrality. Wikipedia articles are supposed to be neutral in tone and not sound like advertisements. At the moment I think some parts of the article just sound like an advertisement for the company rather than present the facts, but it's hard to keep the article's tone neutral with company articles such as these, or at least that's what I've found. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:50, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

hi Chevymontecarlo i understand what your talking about, As i was writing this article, i was debating if it might sound too much like advertisement which i was trying to avoid. I guess the only way to actually know if its more as an advertisement is to have more people reading it. Im going to work more on it, if i am not wrong, to me i feel the product features seems like advertisement, it would be great if you could get back to me and tell me which parts you think are. thanks Demick514 (talk) 15:23, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CreditLoan.com
I used the article Wizard for this article, but didn't see where I was supposed to add categories. I have seen elsewhere that an article must have categories. Was I supposed to put them in somewhere?

Thanks!

RiverWriter (talk) 05:56, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * An article's categories usually go at the bottom - I've already added one category for you; I hope that's okay but really it's the best way to show you ;) You add categories by placing the link to the category at the bottom, like this:

Hope this is useful. Chevy monte  carlo  07:54, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_talk:Articles_for_creation/James_Greer
Not sure how many or how much more reliable the sources attached to this article here could possibly be. I am new to the process, but this person's notability should be fairly obvious to anyone even casually perusing either the article or the sources provided. He was in one of the most influential American indie rock bands ever to exist, has written an award-winning novel and just published another which is also being published in France and Italy, has in addition published an acclaimed work of non-fiction, was Senior Editor at Spin Magazine and contributing writer/editor to many others, and is a well-known screenwriter who is currently working with the Oscar-winning drector Steven Soderbergh on a forthcoming movie musical. Among other things. All of these are well-documented -- possibly over-documented here. Guided By Voices, his former band, Kim Deal, his ex-fiancée, all of his produced films, Steven Soderbergh, and his publisher all have Wikipedia pages. As a baseline for notability, he would seem to more than meet the criteria in several disciplines ranging over the last twenty years. Hence my confusion. Any help would be most appreciated.

Sybilline (talk) 06:30, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I can't understand why whoever declined the submission declined it for that reason, as that is clearly not the case. You have more than enough references, and many of them are quite reliable. I would say you perhaps need to just re-submit the article perhaps, with some suitable names for the references to make it even clearer. You can add names to references like this:

Good luck! Chevy monte  carlo  08:04, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! I will try that.Sybilline (talk) 15:57, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Local_Government_Association_of_South_Australia
My first page - appreciate feedback, particularly if I need to deal further with the Bot copyright query.

Localcouncil (talk) 06:55, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * The message from the bot is that it appears that the article's content is taken from another web site, rather than written from scratch. Therefore, it is likely to be a breach of copyright, so you need to rewrite the article. Also, you have very few references, so please try and add some if you can using inline citations to display them. Good luck! Chevy  monte  carlo  08:07, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Mont_High_School,_Lavasa#
A brief information page about international school in Lavasa, called Le Mont High.

Lmhlavasa (talk) 07:25, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * There are a number of problems with the article, sadly.


 * The article sounds like an advertisement in places, rather than being neutral. I think this is the main problem with the article.
 * You also appear to have a conflict of interest, so that might be something you need to take a look at.
 * Most of the article appears to me just seems too long. I think you can get the same points across with less writing. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:59, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Djebel_Ressas
This is my first article. I'd like to know if it is acceptable.

Joe MacAlleli (talk) 10:24, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

Estill Voice Training
Hi, I've been working on the Estill Voice Training article since August and it's now fairly stable. I would appreciate an independent view on where I should focus or if anything else should be worked on before I submit for Wikipedia Peer Review. Many thanks in advance.

Knavesdied (talk) 17:13, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Scottbright/Synapse_Product_Development
Initial draft, seeking feedback prior to live pub. Thanks!

63.228.115.141 (talk) 19:47, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * The article looks like a good start, but I notice that almost all of the references are from the business' own web site. That makes this look like an advertisement and also makes me wonder about the neutrality.  You might wish to find some more diverse references to flesh things out a bit. Sonria (talk)

User:Sonria/Snow_Hill_School_Bus_Collision
My first article so I want to be sure I get it right. This isn't meant to be a major article but given that it was significant to the geographic area, and resulted in some national NTSB recommendations involving driver's licenses, I thought it deserved a page. It took me quite a while to find references; any further search ideas are welcome!

Sonria (talk) 22:18, 5 December 2010 (UTC)


 * It looks pretty good! Of course, if there's a third (or more) high-quality reliable source that you can add, then that wouldn't hurt, but I think you can WP:MOVE it to the main namespace as-is.  WhatamIdoing (talk) 22:44, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Intueri/Absorb_LMS&oldid=400754023
Hello, This draft article acknowledges a known SaaS solution provider in the Learning Management System space. With over a million users in many different countries, Absorb LMS is described in a brief. I have included key citations/references for this article and I have reviewed the content for accuracy and neutrality. Can you please review it and let me know what you think as I'd like to post it to the main space soon? Thanks- also if you have any other suggestions please let me know?

I also wanted to state up front that I am going to be starting in a position with the company that owns Absorb Anywhere LMS on Dec 14/10. They did not ask me, nor are they paying me to write this article for them- but I did make them aware that I was going to contribute an article about them to Wikipedia. I contributed it because they are significant in their field, have a growing international presence and they should be on the list of LMS solutions, identified as a technology provider and an innovator in their field. I thought that it would be a good thing to do for them and I began this article before I knew that I was going to join them. Please let me know if everything looks to be in order, or if there is any issue at all with me submitting this draft. thanks. Intueri (talk) 23:37, 5 December 2010 (UTC)