Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 December 7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedok_Jetty
Please review this article, comment if not appropriate and remove the "new unreviewed article" tag from it.

Everything is Possible... The Impossible just takes longer... (talk) 00:47, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Student_Posters_and_Leaflets_during_the_Tiananmen_Square_Protests_of_1989
I need a quick look over if anybody is willing that would be great. The topic is regarding the Tiananmen Square Protests of 1989 Thanks

Gkm2010 (talk) 01:14, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jos%C3%A9_Herazo-Osorio
Marilynf527 (talk) 01:49, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

First_Presbyterian_Church_in_Jamaica
I created this article as it is the oldest continuously-serving Presbyterian church in America. It is the largest article I have created, and I would like to know if I could improve the current article, and some tips for next time.

Talk to you later, Presidentman (talk) Random Picture of the Day (Talkback) 02:21, 7 December 2010 (UTC)
 * In general it looks quite good. It is well-referenced, the usual bane of new editors, but I see you are not a new editor. My biggest concern is that the two sentences about credit card interest rates seemed out of place in the history. Not sure it merits inclusion at all, but if it is a big deal, perhaps it belongs in a separate section.
 * A secondary point is that the history section notes the church turned down Landmark status but doesn't say why. The citation discusses the issue, but a brief summary in the article would be warranted.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:12, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bloke23/Gold_Mine_(board_game)
This is my first Wikipedia article. I'm looking for general feedback on style, objectivity, and compliance with Wikipedia etiquette. Also, is it an interesting read?

Bloke23 (talk) 02:56, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nihilent
Created a page for Nihilent, a pune based IT company known for its IT services and products. Request you to review it. nishant.pradhan (talk) 04:51, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

Jasper_A._Vrugt
Hi, this is my first Wikipedia article and I am looking for feedback. I looked at many other articles for scientists/professors and tried to follow a similar style for content/notability... Thanks in advance! :)

Isolde2000 (talk) 07:13, 7 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice start. A couple comments:
 * You've added references in many cases, but in some cases, you've embedded a url. That is discouraged, for example, the "J. Robert Oppenheimer (JRO) distinguished Postdoctoral Fellow" link. Please structure as a footnote.
 * The research section needs a citation.
 * The footnote following "published 60+ papers" leads to a search site - can you fill it in so it generates results, or is that not possible?
 * Footnote 4 leads to the general site, not the specific information cited.
 * Footnotes should generally follow the punctuation, not preceded it, and there should be no space between the punctuation and footnote.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:53, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Psenker/Rachel_Carson_Center_for_Environment_and_Society
I am concerned about whether this page infringes on any copyright restrictions. Otherwise, I am requesting input on its formatting and conent.

Psenker (talk) 11:14, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodger_R._Krouse
Please review this article, we would like to link the corporate wiki page of suncapital to it once the "new unreviewed article" tag is removed. Any feedback and/or comments are highly appreciated!

Luishenriquez (talk) 16:27, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marc_J._Leder
Please review this article, we would like to link the corporate wiki page of suncapital to it once the "new unreviewed article" tag is removed. Any feedback and/or comments are highly appreciated!

Luishenriquez (talk) 16:28, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Land_Press
Article on independent, Oklahoma-based media company This Land Press which has been gaining a lot of attention from the national media regarding their article on PFC Bradley Manning, the young man allegedly behind the biggest military intelligence leak in U.S. history. I believe its notability has been proven since it has been used as a source by Time Magazine, the Today Show, Harper's, The Daily Beast, and The Takeaway.

70.184.255.182 (talk) 16:53, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Upper_Midwest_Preparedness_and_Emergency_Response_Learning_Center_%28UMPERLC%29
Please review this article on the Upper Midwest Preparedness and Emergency Response Learning Center.

Mrichlen (talk) 17:16, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chika_Onyenezi
Chika Onyenezi is a young Author from Nigeria, on his way to international limelight.

41.219.195.161 (talk) 17:18, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Intueri/Absorb_LMS
Please review this article. It's my first and it's about a SaaS called Absorb Anywhere- a Learning Management System.

As mentioned in an earlier request for feedback, since I began developing the article I have agreed to accept a position with the company. My intention before this situation developed was to get Absorb into the encyclopedia as it is notable and interesting application. I was never asked to submit this, nor am I being paid to submit it. However, now that I am admittedly taking a position there I wanted to be up front about my intentions. They are all good but I do understand that this is a matter of perspective. I have attempted to be very neutral and factual in the article so I hope that you agree and if the article meets with your approval I'd like to move it into the "live" main space.

Please advise.

thank-you very much

Intueri (talk) 18:05, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Iandennismiller/Byron_Williams_(Shooter)
Byron Williams is the California shooter who, in July 2010, was apprehended by police as he was on his way to attack several organizations in San Francisco. There have been numerous media reports and updates about him, making Williams into a notable figure. In order to facilitate discussion about this his July 2010 activities, I have created this article.

Iandennismiller (talk) 18:36, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Allaroundmyhat/The_Demon_Barbers
Hi

Could someone please take a look at my new page and if it's OK can they help me move it to 'live'?

Thanks

Allaroundmyhat (talk) 20:26, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Pierce_Farrell
Joseph Pierce Farrell's work in integrative healthcare deserves recognition/cataloging.

As this is my first article, I want to be sure I've formatted it correctly so that Farrell's work is represented well.

There are many reliable sources for the article, I just want to be sure the article is formatted properly.

Thank you in advance for your feedback!

David M. 33 (talk) 21:06, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Zoedavis322/BreakEFX
This is my first article. BreakEFX is a dance crew that participated on America's Best Dance Crew and I'd love help making it so they can have their own wikipedia page. I would love to have someone look over my page and let me know what I should add and how I should format it. Thanks

Zoedavis322 (talk) 21:23, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unified_Code_Count(UCC)
Please review this article, this is the wiki page for a code count tool, 'UCC' developed at University of Southern California(USC), Los Angeles, CA which is use for the software cost estimation used across the industries. I am a student at USC and me along with four other members have contributed the content for this page during our directed research work while working for Center for Systems and Software Engineering(CSSE), USC. This is my first wiki article so any kind of feedback or suggestions are highly appreciated!

KanwarRahul (talk) 22:13, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sola_Trading
All Feedback is welcome. Thank you.

198.235.31.250 (talk) 22:20, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moose_Knuckles

 * hi im currentlly having a problem... its mentioned at the top of the page the following message 'This article is an orphan, as few or no other articles link to it. Please introduce links to this page from related articles; suggestions may be available. (December 2010)"


 * i have numerous other articles linked to it, so i dont understand why it is mentioning it

along with im having a problem with where one of my pictures are placed... the picture name "Moose Knuckles Crest" is causing there to be a huge space in the middle of the article, if someone could help it would be great thanks

Demick514 (talk) 23:04, 7 December 2010 (UTC)


 * I reviewed and edited your article. It now has a few more links, though not too substantial ones. I also noticed you could use considerable improvement in your grammar over all, but I tried to improve the article in that respect; you may wish to look over it for ways to improve its clarity. In particular, the second paragraph under 'Bomber and Parka Jackets' is unclear: "320 more feathers is both the parkas and the bombers" - 320 more than what, and should "is" be "in?" Otherwise, the article does have good factual information, and is a good start. Layona1 (talk) 00:43, 8 December 2010 (UTC)


 * thanks for all the help Layona1, im going to be reviewing it right now and touching up all those mistakesDemick514 (talk) 06:48, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysphoric_Milk_Ejection_Reflex
This is my first article. I would appreciate any corrections.

Aliaheise (talk) 23:06, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ProjectManager.com_%28Software%29
I've re-written the page projectmanager.com (there is a user draft here;http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:PamelaG52/ProjectManager.com) as this is a very widely used NZ Software which I believe comparatively meets the notability requirements. May need help with the references though, I wanted to reference everything, but that lead to having duplicate references and I'd appreciate help with clean-up, Thanks

Rachnzl (talk) 23:37, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_West_(politician)
I Put a brief summary of what led to his retirement in the intro, but another user (Dchip12) insists on going on personal attacks against me, and inserting non notable information. At one point, dchip12 added to the article that "Growing up, West knew he was destined to be in the U.S. military" as well as a long list of West's family's military history that sounded like a campaign ad. wkharrisjr has been kind of to make edits promoting a neutral POV, but we need someone else to explain neutral POV and notability to dchip12

Tippx (talk) 23:44, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picture_Box_Distribution
Please review the article on Picture Box Distribution, a Canadian television sales agency.

Caz42 (talk) 23:58, 7 December 2010 (UTC)
 * The article looks pretty good. It's great that you have references for this article, but you should be using inline citations (see WP:Citing_sources). The article could also use more content. Right now, it's basically a list of shows. Is there more content that you could write about? Perhaps a history of the company or any major impact that it has had. Jncraton (talk) 16:40, 11 December 2010 (UTC)

The Dragonslayer's Apprentice
I somewhat recently changed this page from a user page draft to an actual article. I have asked for feed back on it before and tried to improve it, but currently I would simply like to ask if it seems to be a good article and if it may be considered a 'reviewed article.' Thank you for looking at it. Layona1 (talk) 00:06, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

Layona1 (talk) 00:06, 8 December 2010 (UTC)
 * This article looks pretty good. It's great that you have it well sourced. Right now, it is tagged as an orphan. You could help your article out by editing related articles and linking to the one you created. You should also read through the guidelines on footnotes and try to clean those up. Overall though, you did a great job on this. Jncraton (talk) 16:50, 11 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the feedback. I hadn't looked at specific policies on footnotes, and am glad to know specifically what should be done differently. Thank you for your other advice as well, and again for reviewing the article. Layona1 (talk) 22:13, 11 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_West_(politician)
This user "Tippx" insists on making ridiculous excuses on why information should be withheld from Allen West's wiki page. I'm just a casual Wiki observer and only contributed for the 2nd time a few days ago and it was I all intended. I just put a few facts about West's family in his early life section and Tippx claims facts like "West's dad served in WWII, his brother served in Vietnam, his nephew is a young captain" is too much a "positive POV" when it's not even a Point of View. It's a FACT. (A few posts above here, he claims it's a "long list of West's family's military history that sounds like a campaign ad".... West's campaign ended a month ago. So that's rubbish. And not even a big West fan nor am I that into politics for that matter. Nor am I a big Wiki user. I figured I put facts like and on my way but this guy is so threatened by West for some insane reason. He needs to be looked over. Again, he's even trying to paint it as a "campaign ad" by just stating facts about West's family. And again, I'm not even a big West fan, I'm more apathetic than anything but clearly Tippx is threatened by him for some reason otherwise he wouldn't go to such trouble as to want an article a certain way. Tippx want's the simple single facts about his Dad and Brother gone but coincidentally insisted West's controversial exit from the military be put a top of his page. He also claims the statement "Growing up, West knew he was destined to be in the U.S. military" was MY statement when it CLEARLY was a statement I got directly from one of the cited sources I put down from this article. Allen West: from controversy to Congress This user clearly is just an anti-West guy who's upset to the fact he insists on deleting things of mine that are just plain FACT, not POV's, all cited correctly. He needs a talking to.

Dchip12 (talk) 01:53, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

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