Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 December 9

John Anderson (founder of Contiki Holidays)
Hi, this is my first article and I would really appreciate your feedback! As founder of Contiki Holidays I think John Anderson is notable. The hardest thing I found was that most of the references that I used came from reading his book Only Two Seats Left. I didn't know what to do for references. Should I have referenced the same book a bunch of times (perhaps using chapter headings?). In the end I just put one reference in there and hope that someone with more experience than I have can give me some guidance.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!

Matrixmania (talk) 01:05, 9 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi,
 * You can cite the same thing multiple times. See how I did it in Bright Club.  Each time a source is cited, I used, for example name=Guardian1 and that meant I only had to fill in the details once.
 * I would say that the main thing that this article needs is some sources that are independent of John Anderson. His autobiography is the main source and it is useful for some things, but is obviously not independent.  He also works for celebspeakers, so that isn't independent... but obviously it is fine for the purpose of confirming that he is a celebrity speaker.
 * Do you know of any sources that might be independent? e.g. an article about him in a newspaper.
 * I have removed the unreviewed tag and put in one asking for third-party sources.
 * Also, the link described as "Global sandwich review" needs looking at. I just get "Requested page not found".
 * Yaris678 (talk) 12:38, 10 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for that Yaris678, I can see now how you cited the same source multiple times. I will have a go at this in the article. I have also found some other, more solid, references to site so will add those in when I get time.  Thanks again.Matrixmania (talk) 19:47, 10 December 2010 (UTC)

Seek review, so as to remove "new unreviewed article" Template, thanks!
Seek review, so as to remove "new unreviewed article" Template, thanks!

Hawkeye109 (talk) 02:01, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balkan_Samba_Records
Seek review, so as to remove "new unreviewed article" Template, thanks!

Hawkeye109 (talk) 02:05, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Jmsheats/Sandbox
I have started a wiki page on Microhydro systems (a specific hydroelectricity system) as an assignment for a class. We have been provided Wikipedia mentors but I would like some additional advice if possible. I don't exactly need clarification on the specific information about the topic (as it is purposefully a new and only slightly developed one) but more on the overall structure and its adherence to wiki standards. I also want to note that I am in the process of adding more reliable sources. Thanks

Jmsheats (talk) 04:09, 9 December 2010 (UTC)


 * Not a bad first effort. The most obvious thing was that it needed a link to Hydroelectricity so I added that.  If I were you, I might also put the reference to 100kW in the lead, rather than saying "a specific range".
 * Are you aware that there is already an article called Micro hydro? Your Wikipedia mentor should probably have suggested that you check that one!  Then again, it isn't an issue if your intention is just to practice documenting something in a wiki.  It is nice to get your stuff into a proper article though.  I guess one thing you can do is see what information from your article can be added to Micro hydro.
 * Yaris678 (talk) 13:29, 10 December 2010 (UTC)

Flinton, Pennsylvania
This is an article discussing and describing the village of Flinton, Pennsylvania. Any feedback would be very much appreciated, so as to remove the "New Unreviewed Article" template. Thank you!

Jbs1985 (talk) 04:39, 9 December 2010 (UTC)


 * Looks like User:TheCatalyst31 has already reviewed the article. Yaris678 (talk) 17:30, 10 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dacyksta7/A_Matter_of_Time
There was a dead link for Mike Posner's mixtape "A Matter of Time" so one was created. Just wanted feedback on if it was certified to move to the main namespace.

Dacyksta7 (talk) 07:58, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sima_Yari
This page is rewritten. After carefully reviewed one of the Administrator's comments, I have rewritten the page. The major changes are in the reference area where I found some articles about Ms. Sima Yari. However, some of these references are in Farsi and printed in newspapers and magazines once printed in Iran. Some changes also associated in the content of the page to include the publishes of her books. I appreciate any feedback on this page.

Nematg (talk) 08:16, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Weinberg
Pls review my article. It is my hope that it will be live

Vjohnso2 (talk) 12:56, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Wendy.perry4/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
Hi, I was writing an article for Camp Merri-Mac for Girls and I messed up by adding too many links.. I admit I could not find where I needed to make a draft so it would not post until I was finished. So the article was deleted. Please reconsider adding the new article to the site. Thank you,

Wendy.perry4 (talk) 14:58, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

Opta Sports
Hi

I have tried to upload a Wikipedia page for Opta Sports but think I have fallen foul of the conflict of interestes rule.

I am Marketing Director for Opta, so there is an interest, clearly. I am, however, trying to have a Wikipedia page that is informative and not used as an advert or a sales tool.

I hope the copy I have written reflects this. I would be grateful for a review.

Many thanks Simon

Simonbanoub (talk) 16:12, 9 December 2010 (UTC)


 * I see that User:Invitrovanitas has made some changes to the wording and tagged the article highlighting some issues. To my mind, the conflict-of-interest issue isn't a biggie because you have tried to write it in a neutral way and Invitrovanitas has improved this further.  I think the main issue is that you need to find some reliable sources that are independent of Opta.  Has the company been written about, for example in newspapers?  It sounds like quite an important company.  That being the case you would expect at least an article in the Financial Times.  What have they said about the company?
 * If you want to know how to cite sources, check out Citing sources or Referencing for beginners
 * Yaris678 (talk) 17:47, 10 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheprador
Hello - this is my first article, I tried to copy a similar page's style and think it came out pretty well, but please help this newbie with some feedback : )

Katekelly623 (talk) 18:15, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyakusatsu_kikan
I would like someone to review this page so I can get rid of the "unreviewed" template at the top. I believe it is good enough to stand alone as its own page at this point. Let me know what you think.

9inchsamurai (talk) 18:30, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

Dubber_Side_of_the_Moon
Hi, I just wanted to check that everything on this new page is up to par, so that we can have the "unreviewed" tab removed. Thanks!

EasyStarStaff (talk) 21:00, 9 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good, thanks for writing it.-- SPhilbrick  T  16:06, 10 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Smgriffin0815/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
Please review this for unobjective or self promotion issues.

Smgriffin0815 (talk) 23:18, 9 December 2010 (UTC)


 * Here are the big problems:
 * Wikipedia is not a directory, so all of the phone numbers and links to the bank's websites ("For more information on Sterling Bancshares, please visit the Company's web site at http://www.banksterling.com.") have to go. Similarly, the list of brand names for the bank accounts is not encyclopedic information and should be removed.  (You wouldn't expect to find that information in a regular printed encyclopedia, would you?)
 * You really need to cite WP:Independent sources. Based on your content, there should be some great sources available to you, especially for the community section.  (Surely the local newspaper has written several stories about the bank!)  Please find those sources and use them, rather than your personal knowledge or the bank's marketing materials, to construct the article.
 * You might like to add a summary called an WP:Infobox to the top. Infobox Company seems to be most common on bank articles.  This is optional, but some people like the, and it gives you a place to put a link to the NASDAQ ticker (under "type of company").
 * You might also like to look at what has been written about some other US banks. You can find a complete list at Category:Banks of the United States or Category:Banks based in Texas.  Some of these might have some good ideas for you.
 * Good luck! WhatamIdoing (talk) 19:19, 13 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Shaazam19/Avery_Brewing_Company
I need help moving my article from my user space to live space. My account is not yet four days old and I would like help doing this before that time if possible. the article is about a growing Colorado brewery that produces a notable degree of beer that is shipped throughout the country. thanks!

Shaazam19 (talk) 03:52, 10 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Still needs some work:
 * Don't begin a line with a space, that creates the blue dotted box.
 * I fixed the reflist so you references will display
 * You still need work on references, see Referencing for beginners
 * You should not have embedded urls such as averybrewing.com in history section
 * The structure needs some work. See WP:LEAD in particular.-- SPhilbrick  T  16:15, 10 December 2010 (UTC)