Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 July 5

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gingin_Observatory,_Western_Australia
Please provide feedback on this page.

The article is about the Observatory situated within the Gingin shire and is connected with the Zadko Telescope, AIGO, Gravity Discovery Centre. It educates the general public about the universe and research attached to the Zadko Telescope, SKA and Astronomy within Australia.

VTrethewey (talk) 03:46, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Good article, references in place. I think you should go over it objectively once pretending you are a reader instead of the author. Think of what you would expect to read in an encyclopedia. Specifically, "These three unique centres combine to make "one" educational centre, just one hour north of Western Australia's capital city" sounds a bit promotional to me because it reflects opinion rather than fact. Why are the centres unique? Unique acording to whom? See what I mean? So, I would glean the article and make sure it's written from a neutral point of view. :) Nice work, though. :) Pianotech (talk) 11:23, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Pirtak/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
This short article is about FutureSkills private high school. It offers credit courses for secondary students who are working to complete their OSSD (Ontario Secondary School Diploma). Its educational and informative website is updated regularly. MH (talk) 04:46, 5 July 2010 (UTC) Well, you've got a good amount of information and it is well-written but you need to get the formatting right (to do a title or category, you type, as in this example: == Example Title == and when you save changes the title will appear like in other Wikipedia articles and pages, and your references category is a bit unclear. Explain about the address. Maybe you could add some notes to solve these confusions. Jsayre64

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sasha_Rowena#References
Please review this article and an immediet reply is needed. Thank You and hopefully this article is considered good for Wikipedia.

(This article has been deleted.) Syadesign (talk) 04:59, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Chellrey/Kirstie_Joan_Babor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Chellrey/Kirstie_Joan_Babor

Hello! This article is to update the information regarding the new title holder for Miss Philippines Water 2009. I hope this is ready enough to be moved and to go live on Wikipedia. Thank you so much. Good day. :)

New reply: oh wow! thank you so much for the suggestion! :) i have made the changes, hope this is all ready and okay to go live. thank you so, so much again, as well as for the reply. Good day and take care. :)

Chellrey (talk) 06:05, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice - good job with the references although an infobox would be a good thing to think about including. See Template:Infobox person or Template:Infobox model or something like that. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:36, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coherent_Solutions
Hi, This is the first article I'm creating from scratch in Wikipedia. Please let me know if there are any mistakes in structure or in any other aspects of this page.

Thanks a lot!

Proactivesa (talk) 09:54, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello there! In reading your article and checking your references, I feel the references are a little weak. The Microsoft link is just the company's press release, so that will not hold. The Belarus Technoligies Park link only provides a listing for the company. While this shows that the company exists, it doesn't discuss the company or what it does. Unless you add outside, independent, verifiable references, your article does not provide anything that would show why the company is notable and should appear in an encyclopedia. My recommendation is that you find such references and add them. Hope this helps. :) Take care, Pianotech (talk) 11:12, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Nwubotanicalgarden/North-West_University_Botanical_Garden
Can you please help me to get this information on the site. I still can't add pictures or publish it.

Nwubotanicalgarden (talk) 09:58, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello! Right now, the only reference you have for the article is from the university itself. You need more to satisfy Wikipedia's notability and referencing requirements. I would find at least two independent sources you can reference before you publish. Hope this helps. :) Pianotech (talk) 11:03, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

(duplicated request)
Can you please help me to get this information on the site. I still want to add more info pictures but am not able to at the moment. Thank you ;)

Nwubotanicalgarden (talk) 10:01, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Due to your conflict of interest, we do not recommend writing the article; see WP:BFAQ.


 * In addition, note that articles need independent reliable sources; see WP:FIRST.  Chzz  ► 13:04, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirukkattuthurai
Malaiappasamy (talk) 11:58, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * I have removed the 'contacts' information - it is inappropriate; see WP:NOTDIR and WP:ADVERT.


 * I also removed lots of external links that were in the body of the article; links to websites should only be used as either references, or in the 'external links' section - and then, they should be limited; see WP:EL.


 * I fixed some wikilinks.


 * Be careful to be neutral - for example, It is very beautiful place is not appropriate; it is opinion, not fact.


 * A lot of the article lacks references to reliable sources; it is not verifiable. Please either add references, or remove the unverifiable information. Original research is not permitted.


 * Please look at some good articles on places, to get ideas, such as Sitakunda Upazila or Burnham-on-Sea.  Chzz  ► 13:20, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C._Bradford_Welles
My article about C. Bradford Welles is about his distinguished academic career at Yale University as an Ancient Historian and Papyrologist and his role in WWII, working in Counter Intelligence in Cairo for OSS from from 1944-46, for which he received an OBE.

My principal source is the New York Times Obituary of October 9, 1969- I cite it as a reference. But you have to have access to New York Times Select to retrieve it.

I also have copies (now declassified) of his OSS command in Cairo. And I have a copy of the OBE he received from King George VI. But the latter documents have no external links.

My other sources are links to books he has written.

Davidwelles (talk) 12:35, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * References do not have to be online, but please, give full details; the objective is to give enough information so that the person reading the article can, if they wish, locate the source document and 'check the facts'. So put all the details you have - the document numbers, source, publisher, location, whatever.


 * It would help things greatly if you used inline references to show where the facts come from; I will add help on that, on your own talk page.  Chzz  ► 13:24, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_Listed_Software_Companies_of_India_at_a_glance
This article provides a brief snapshot of public listed IT companies in India. I have taken the information from respective company wiki and clubbed in one page to access the company info at a glance.

The above link is deleted and article is removed. The modified article after review comments has been submitted again in the link below for review.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_public_listed_software_companies_of_India

As per comment given below: Modified the references link to company financials which substantiates the figures mentioned and removed the wiki links in references

Sdtalk (talk) 13:03, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * You cannot use company logos in that way, see WP:NONFREE - I removed the logos.


 * I am not sure that this article is encyclopaedic; per WP:NOTDIR, etc. I think it would be best just to refer to existing categories (e.g. Category:Software companies of India), or creating a new category for the companies.


 * I do not think that the external links to each company - are appropriate, per WP:EL.


 * The 'references' given are not references; they are links to other Wikipedia articles, and the names are already linked.


 * The article does not show where the figures come from - which is required, for verifiability.  Chzz  ► 13:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

Archibald Marshall
An article about early 20th century British writer Archibald Marshall.

Professoryak (talk) 13:38, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Nice article! Well-written and well-sourced. I removed the "unreviewed" tag for you. Good luck in the future. :) Pianotech (talk) 15:10, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_O%27Halloran - New article for feedback
Feedback is welcome. Thanks

Jherschel (talk) 14:56, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barrow-in-Furness
An article which is quite long and well sourced, but has never really developed with a strategy. Would like to get it to at least a WP:GA and wondered how this read to someone unfamiliar with the subject

Pretty Green (talk) 15:08, 5 July 2010 (UTC) An article which is well developed and may well have the content already to make a push towards WP:GA status, but I don't think it has ever been systematically looked out. How does it read to someone with no knowledge of the town? --Pretty Green (talk) 15:06, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Wow. Great article! You put a ton of work into that, I can tell. Well written and well sourced. In looking at it, I wonder if the length of the history section would merit breaking it down into sub-sections, possibly? That's pretty minor though, in my opinion. I think it's a really good and well planned article. Nice work! :) Pianotech (talk) 15:23, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Good work and I appreciate it. Why don’t you write a Tamil version of it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Paramedicjames/Emergency_Language_Systems
I am requesting feedback on an article that has been amended from a previous article speedily deleted. I have included only factual, encyclopedic information and provided sources for each piece of information included. Please, if you are going to delete the article as soon as I make it visible, tell me now instead so I can improve it before being deleted. Thank you. Paramedicjames (talk) 16:25, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Paramedicjames (talk) 16:25, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jbernfeld/Sandbox
Hello. I have been working on this article for a few weeks. I've tried to list several reliable sources and write it in an impartial manner where the notability comes through as much as possible. I'd appreciate any feedback! Thanks, Jeff Jbernfeld (talk) 19:14, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elated_Worldwide_Group_Corporation
Elatedww (talk) 19:20, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Standards_setters
The Accounting Standards Oversight Council (AcSOC) was established in 2000 by the Canadian Institute of Chartered Accountants (CICA) to serve the public interest by overseeing and providing input to the activities of the Accounting Standards Board (AcSB). Commencing in 2003, the AcSOC also oversees and provides input to the activities of the Public Sector Accounting Board (PSAB).

Standards setters (talk) 19:21, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Wow, lots of information there. Must have taken some time to compile all that information; nice work. :) My humble opinion would be to break the article down into sections to make it easier to read, and more importantly, find at least three independent sources you can cite as references. Hope those suggestions help. :) Best of luck, Pianotech (talk) 20:44, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Lancethompson/Jacob Quistgaard
Does it need to be longer?

Lancethompson (talk) 20:00, 5 July 2010 (UTC)


 * It needs to show "Significant coverage in reliable sources" - see WP:VRS.  Chzz  ► 13:46, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McKenzie_method
Blueeye1967 (talk) 20:46, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Informative and well-referenced. Well done. :) Pianotech (talk) 00:05, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

Thanks a lot. Would be nice to find such reference list with other articles on medical topics also. --Blueeye1967 (talk) 13:01, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Carmarg4/John Hartwell Harrison, M.D.
I would appreciate any feedback before making the page public.

Carmarg4 (talk) 21:45, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jsayre64/Oregon_Community_Credit_Union
I'm looking for suggestions on what to improve in this article. Would appreciate it.

Jsayre64 (talk) 21:51, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Wbhendrix/LifeJive_Radio
This is one of my first wiki articles. Can someone please check over this to make sure i have the correct format before i publish my article?

Wbhendrix (talk) 23:41, 5 July 2010 (UTC) Hi there! :) I read your article, and I think you need more references. As it is, the only references you are citing are your website and blogspot page, neither of which are reliable since they are connected to you. Try finding some outside sources that mention LifeJive Radio before you publish; otherwise, it's likely that your page will be at least tagged for notability and reference improvements. Good luck! :) Pianotech (talk) 00:01, 6 July 2010 (UTC)