Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 June 24

Plantar Fasciitis
Tracycakes (talk) 00:37, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Great! Nothing more I can suggest. ~ Qwerp Qwertus ·  Contact Me  · 01:08, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * What an excellent article. You've done a great job there - plenty of links, good references, interesting infobox, and even a picture. Well done. I don't think there's much more you can do to improve. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:44, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

Miami-Dade_Corrections_%26_Rehabilitation_Department
I need my article reviewed for it to go live, right? Please review...

MiamiBrian (talk) 03:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Not too bad, I've gone ahead and made a few changes. The article is in need of a good clean-up as well as a more consistent citation style. - Reconsider !  09:32, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you should also consider maybe making the opening section smaller and more condensed, and maybe separating the article out into sections a bit more as well. There seems to be a problem with the links in the 'Operations' section, if you meant to add links there you need to put  around the word, not [ ] as it won't work any other way. Hope this helps.  Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:46, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

J%C3%A9r%C3%B4me_Valcke
This is a translation from a German version : http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%A9r%C3%B4me_Valcke

- Could someone help me with making sure that there will be a link to the other version on the german and english version of the site? - On the German version there is a Category box at the bottom, but i don't have the expertise to correctly put that box in the english version. I could use some help with that to. - Could someone also help me add this picture: http://www.fifa.com/mm/archive/cp/19132/img150.jpg to the website.

Thanks.

Mltinus (talk) 08:11, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Concerning your question with categories, all you need to do is to add the category links to the bottom, and they will appear in a bar at the bottom automatically. For example, if I add and/or  to the bottom of the article, they would appear as links in a bar at the bottom automatically. There's no more work that you need to do; the tags do the work for you. I hope you understand, if you have any more questions please ask at my talk page, and I will try my best to reply on there as soon as I can. Thanks!  Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:50, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

Final_Theory_(novel)
Hi, I wrote an article about Scientific American editor Mark Alpert's debut novel "Final Theory". Please do review the article. Advance thanks for everything.

Finemann (talk) 11:27, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * The article definitely needs reliable references added to it, otherwise it'll just get deleted. Every other part of the article is brilliant but the references need work. Please see WP:CITE for an overview and for details on the kinds of things that can be used as references for articles. Also I would consider maybe adding sections to the article - you can do this by placing == == around the name of the section you want to create, for example ==Chevymontecarlo== would create a section with 'Chevymontecarlo' as the name. I hope you understand! If you have any more questions, please feel free to send me a message at my talk page. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:56, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

I've added some reference and a new section. Finemann (talk) 16:56, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * OK, great. I think the references need some more useful names adding to them - bare links aren't really encouraged. Chevy  monte  carlo  19:36, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I've added some more informational names to the references - if you don't like what I've done feel free to revert or improve them, but the links do need names. Other than that and maybe trying to find additional references, I think the article is practically finished. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:56, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

Rawal_Umed_Singh_Rathore_Barmer
Sir/Madam plz give feedback on my article and if there is any mistake please let me know so that i can solve it. and please review my article about great personality

Abhimanyu singh rathore (talk) 12:38, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

Stand-alone lists (television)
What should our policy be on articles that contain lists related to television? You are invited to join the discussion at Wikipedia talk:Stand-alone lists (television).

Taric25 (talk) 14:39, 24 June 2010 (UTC) (Using )

User:Laurent_erx/Fitted_Q_iteration_algorithm
This is my first article, made in my studies subject. Please make any comment.

Laurent erx (talk) 14:59, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I have made a few minor improvements to the article, but you still need more reliable references added to it. I'm not sure what the 'Damien Eirst's' reference is - and to the average reader they won't either, so please consider fixing that. You can also add links by placing  around the article name you want to link to - for example Loughborough creates a link that, if clicked, leads to the Loughborough article. Hope this helps, and if you have any comments/suggestions/questions please feel free to send me a message here. Thank you! Good luck with the article.  Chevy  monte  carlo  16:08, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

Center_for_Democracy_and_Citizenship
Please review and publish this clean. At the CDC we needed a wikipedia page so this it is please clear it for us so we can get more publicity. 141.224.150.166 (talk) 15:28, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * First thing's first, you obviously work at the Center for Democracy and Citizenship, using words like "we", and wanting the article to be reviewed so you can get "more publicity". It is Wikipedia policy that people heavily involved in, for example, a company, should not edit the company's Wikipedia page, unless they are being totally neutral, per . Also, Wikipedia is not the place to promote something, which your article is on the verge of doing. "For a high-energy example of democracy, come to the Jane Addams School for Democracy. A Center for Democracy and Citizenship partnership located in St. Paul, Minnesota's West Side, the School believes that everyone has something of value to offer" sounds, to me, quite promotional. "Our experience shows learning is achieved in a complex, cohesive environment - a culture that includes formal and informal learning" is another example.


 * The tone of the article is also innapropriate in other ways, for example "the Center for Democracy and Citizenship has explored many kinds of terrain where conventional wisdom suggests you'll find neither citizen action nor big ideas. Take kids. Silly it is said. immature, loaded as much with problems as promise. Now take Public Achievement, the international youth initiative founded by the CDC. Increasingly, you'll find it in a nearby school, engaging average, ordinary kids as producers and creators of their communities, not simply as customers or clients." This is violates both WP:NPOV and WP:ESSAY


 * As you can see, at the top of the page two notices have been placed at the top of the page. These have notified volunteers who will come along to the page and do their best to clean it up. Personally, as you seem to be working for the Center for Democracy and Citizenship, I reccomend you don't further edit the page, as further edits may make the article seem more promotional, and it may be tagged for speedy deletion for unambiguous advertising or nominated for deletion. Please feel free to edit other articles that you are not involved in, and as long as the edits are neutral


 * If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page.  WackyWace  talk to me, people 16:15, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

User:Mosarto/Vasundhara_Doraswamy
Hi there, I am new to the wikipedia - and was wondering if someone can have a look and advise if Ive got this article in the correct required format according to the guidelines. Thanking you in anticipation

Mosarto (talk) 17:26, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

User:Artflam/Pallada_Asset_Management
Hello, I've posted an article in my userspace. So, before adding it to main wiki space I suppose a review is required. I'd be glad to get such review. Thanks. Artflam (talk) 18:33, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Does not have independent reliable sources, see WP:FIRST, WP:GNG, WP:V, WP:BFAQ.  Chzz  ► 04:10, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

User:Lynn329/Date_Safe_Project
Hello, my article was reviewed while in draft under wizard. I would like the page to go live. I was also asked if I would like the person who reviewed the article to add an info box for me, and yes, that would be nice. Please let me know how to proceed and make the page live. Thank you

Lynn329 (talk) 20:38, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * You really need to add inline references to verify specific facts - here is an example. I will add help on that, on your own talk page.


 * Some parts of it sound rather promotional;


 * provides educational materials and programs for middle schools, high schools, universities, community organizations, and the United States Military.
 * This resource is available in paperback and in audio files (the survivors read their own chapters to the listener). All proceeds are donated to organizations working to end sexual violence and/or support survivors of sexual assault.


 * This information is not really encyclopaedic; please modify it to be neutral. Ensuring that all facts come from reliable sources should solve that automatically.


 * I hope this helps; I suggest trying to add the inline refs, and then requesting a further check.  Chzz  ► 21:34, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

Authentik_Artists
I have re-created the wikipedia page for the independent Los Angeles based record label Authentik Artists. Please do review this page and let me know any changes that need to be made to avoid future deletion.

JYoerges16 (talk) 20:48, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * The page was deleted under CSD Criteria A7, No explanation of the subject's significance - see WP:VRS  Chzz  ► 21:09, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

User:Pianotech/Master_Piano_Technicians_of_America
Added two additional sources in addition to the org's website, giving me three sources total. Think I can move it to mainspace? Thanks!

Pianotech (talk) 21:22, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * No; for inclusion, an article needs significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject - see WP:VRS, etc. You need to show that it is notable.  Chzz  ► 03:59, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

PLACE A LINK TO YOUR ARTICLE HERE
Preston.bailey.intern (talk) 21:37, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi, you need to add a link to your article in the shown area, otherwise we have no idea what it is and we cannot review it :) Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 11:59, 25 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Looking at the users contributions, I imagine it is User:Preston.bailey.intern/Preston Bailey (Event Designer), which was copy/pasted to live as Preston Bailey (Event Designer), and I just marked as an unreferenced BLP.

Articles need independent, reliable sources.

See also WP:AUTO.  Chzz  ► 03:50, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

Marvin_Harvey_%28basketball%29
How does the article look and read? Thanks all

Hamzah5x (talk) 22:56, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Please use inline citations, so that we can verify the facts from reliable sources.


 * "Hoopedia" and Youtube are not reliable sources. We need things such as newspapers, books, etc.


 * It contains many unverifiable claims, and is not neutral - e.g. He excelled in baseball and football at the Boys and Girls Clubs.


 * It is essential for biographies of living people to be well-referenced.


 * Any facts that are not referenced may be removed by any editor, so please try to fix it ASAP. Thanks,  Chzz  ► 03:58, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

User:Deaconbagshaw/Artanker_Convoy
This is a new article about a band on the Brooklyn label The Social Registry that has members that are former members of the 90s rock group Stratotanker and former members of a 1992 group with James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem.

Deaconbagshaw (talk) 22:59, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * You have made a fairly good start. The one major problem is that the references are listed at the end with no indication of which reference is connected with which statement in the article. Whenever a disputable statement is made in the article you should indicate which reference backs up the statement. It is also better not to use raw URLs as references. The reference should clarify the author, date and publisher of the article without needing to click on the link. This is achieved with reference tags. I have edited the Village Voice reference as an example of how they should be formatted. Hope this helps. Eoinjones (talk) 11:16, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Kgal1298/Enter_your_new_article_name_here&diff=prev&oldid=370002127
Just wondering if I should add anything or if I missed anything? Kgal1298 (talk) 23:49, 24 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Okay, I made some major improvements to the article but there's a long way to go still. You need to try and find references that aren't just the official site. Also the tone needs work - at the moment the whole article just sounds like an advertisement for the company. Please try and make the article more neutral sounding, otherwise once it gets moved into the mainspace it'll probably get deleted. Please take a look at WP:TONE for more information. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask at my talk page. Thanks. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:07, 25 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Hey there. I just had a read through your article and I must warn you that if this page goes live it will be at the very least frowned upon by other editors. Whilst I don't think it is unambiguous advertising, which could get your page deleted, the article has a certain tone that is not approved of on an encyclopedia, using words such as "fun", which could be considered a violation of WP:NPOV.


 * Also, the article makes no assertation of notability. There are, admittedly, hits for the company on Google (although I must say most of them violate WP:RELIABLE), so might I suggest finding any news articles relating to the company, or else the page will likely get deleted. Also, the only references that are cited in the article are to the company's website, or a website of a supplier of the company. Again, this must be sorted out before the article goes live.


 * If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me on my talk page.  WackyWace  talk to me, people 12:10, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

I went over some of the changes and ,yes, I know there is a notability problem, but I am having a problem finding news articles. I know this company has been around for a long time, but the only other article I found was one for the examiner and that is apparently blacklisted does anyone have any ideas on how to search for articles on the company?

<!-- ...but don't type after this line!