Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 June 30

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertical_Submarine
I am still improving the content of this article. So far the article has reliable sources (ny times website, artdaily, chinapost among all). In general, what are the few changes that will make it a much better article? The feedback will help me focus my search for the content improvements. Thanks!

Tja ariani (talk) 02:11, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you should try and add more links to other Wikipedia article in the article, if you can. Also an infobox would be a nice idea. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:07, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

Catmose College (CC)
Thank you

Rmp99 (talk) 05:15, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I think that you should maybe try adding one of the pictures to the infobox, if you can. Also I think the article sounds like an advertisement - there's too much detail and not enough references. If yuo could add more reliable references and try and make the article more neutral in tone it would be great. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:10, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hoops78/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
Hi could you please provide any feedback on this page? thank you!

Hoops78 (talk) 07:30, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Please try and give more descriptive names to the references in the article, like this - |Apple official site . Also please try and add categories to the article. Thank you. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 12:13, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knaphill_Athletic_F.C.
We're a newly formed club kicking off our first season in September 2010 so there's not a lot to write about right now but hopefully there will be in the future!

TheLoafer (talk) 09:40, 30 June 2010 (UTC)


 * If there is not much to write about, there probably shouldn't be an article on it. I guess that is why someone deleted the article.  Generally, topics should meet the WP:Notability guideline to have an article.  Yaris678 (talk) 12:00, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Artflam/Pallada_Asset_Management
Hi, I rewrited the article a bit. Actually I already requested a feedback for it but got no feedback in several days. after this I move the article to the main wikipedia and it was deleted promptly. So, I changed it a bit. Please note that this is translated article from russian wikipedia and there is a translation template at the talk page of the article. Thanks.

Artflam (talk) 11:23, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Good article but I think the whole list of every town isn't really necessary. I think you should maybe condense that down into a sentence or two instead. Also, it's good that you've got at least some references, but it is lacking. Please try and add reliable references to the article if you can. However, good job with the translation, though :) Chevy  monte  carlo  14:37, 30 June 2010 (UTC)


 * I deleted most part of the cities mentioned in the article and added several references (still only to russian resources). I search still for references from english resources and will add them as soon as I find any. Please let me know your opinion about the article now. Hope it doesn't look advertising. Thanks for your attention.Artflam (talk) 02:12, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_Bespoke_Movement
This page is now in the main space, however, it says its neutrality is disputed, how can i make it more neutral? This page is purely a point of interest and unrelated to those involved, i cannot understand why it is being questioned. Please help!

Eyeontherow (talk) 11:34, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, the page is now in the mainspace. As to suggestions, I think you've done a good job with the references and infobox but if you can I think the addition of links would be great. Also, if you can try and add categories - more information is available at WP:Categories. Thanks! Chevy  monte  carlo  14:49, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mohammad_Salman_Ibraheem/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
Ive got these frendz who r really popular on facebook for their prank calls ...........they are really really popular so i made a page for them ....see if u lik it

Mohammad Salman Ibraheem (talk) 11:52, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I may be wrong, but I think this article will be deleted if you publish it.Pianotech (talk) 12:33, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, the article's subject is likely to be non-notable, or not notable enough to have a Wikipedia article. It is also unreferenced and has no categories or links. So yes, it'll probably get deleted almost straightaway if you moved it into the mainspace. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:54, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

Master Piano Technicians of America
As this article has been tagged for not having enough references and also for notability, I would very much appreciate an objective look and feedback. I've started a discussion on the article's talk page for ease of discussion. Input would be greatly appreciated. My objective is to make sure the article is worthy and well-referenced. Thanks in advance for your time and feedback. :) Best...

Pianotech (talk) 12:29, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * I have replied on the article's talk page. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:55, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Great, thanks :) Pianotech (talk) 16:46, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

Jonathan Kane: The Protector
This was my first article.I have made a few research on the internet and then created this article.Please comment. Max Viwe |  Wanna chat with me?  12:48, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice article, but it would be good if you wrote a brief opening section introducing the article's subject. Also the article has no references, so you need to certainly include some. Please see WP:CITE for the kinds of references that you should try and find and add to the article. It's a good article though - you seem to have everything else but the references, opening section and the lack of information in the 'Development' section for some reason. Chevy  monte  carlo  15:00, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

The "Story" section doesn't explain the story. It's just promotional blurbs copypasted from the web. Please read Copy-paste. -- &oelig; &trade; 21:41, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controller-free_Motion_control#References
The term controller-free motion-control is cited in at least 2 articles from (what I'd consider) reputable sources indicated in the references.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/GameOn/story?id=7733966&page=1 http://techsling.com/2010/06/microsoft-reveals-hands-free-motion-controller/

The term Natural User Interface may also be valid terminology, however it is by no means the Industry Standard.


 * It's pointless to have an article that just links to another article. Why not change the NUI intro to say... A Natural User Interface, also called a controller-free motion control, is ... &mdash; Timneu22 · &#32; talk 16:28, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

Znarky (talk) 15:31, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jsayre64/Oregon_Community_Credit_Union
Does my article contain enough information to be published?

Jsayre64 (talk) 17:16, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Well....it might be a good start as an article "stub," but there are several issues you need to address. First off, your references aren't listed properly. Secondly, it seems that the only reference you are providing is the credit union's website and facebook page, neither of which will pass muster. Unless you can come up with several outside references that provide source material about the credit union, the article will likely be tagged for not being notable and for lack of references; deletion would likely soon follow. Suggestions ---> Find some independent references you can cite for the article. Next, read References for beginners for help on how to insert references correctly into the article. And finally, good luck and best wishes with the article! :) Feel free to post another feedback request when you've done some more work on it. If I can be of further help, send me a message at User_talk:Pianotech All the best, Pianotech (talk) 23:33, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

Count Key Data
I've started revising Count Key Data and would appreciate guidance on the proper level of detail. I'd like to add explanations of the more important channel commands and would like to know how much I can write before it becomes TMI.

Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz Username:Chatul (talk) 18:57, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello! I wouldn't worry about TMI; usually articles don't contain ENOUGH information. :) I think a few more references would be good (an observation about nearly every article!), but it's a good stub. Feel free to keep writing and turn it into an article! :) Pianotech (talk) 23:38, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Shreed90/Campaign_for_Youth_Justice#National_Efforts
Hi, I'm creating this page about a nonprofit organization. Do you have any suggestions to make it a better article?

Thanks!

Shreed90 (talk) 20:34, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Very good article! Well written and well sourced. I would maybe add some article categories to the bottom. An infobox would also be a nice touch. Other than that though, very good work on the article. I can tell you put a lot of time in it. Best of luck with it! Pianotech (talk) 23:42, 30 June 2010 (UTC) User_talk:Pianotech

Also add a title, date, and author for each website that you cited. Good article. Jsayre64

Thanks for the comment!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_Stars_Productions
Hi. Some feedback for this article would be much appreciated. It is for a Sports Photography company which is a big part of the Dogpatch neighborhood in San Francisco. Thank you.

Ichibanhuguenor (talk) 21:28, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * It's a non-notable business (see WP:CORP); if moved into article space, it would rapidly be deleted. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  16:26, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Ferryca/MaYoMo
Hello! I am relisting this request for feedback, because I would like to receive more opinions in terms of notability of the article. The previous request and all the suggestions I got can be found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_feedback/2010_June_23#User:Ferryca.2FMaYoMo
 * Thanks!

Ferryca (talk) 21:31, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello there! Nice article. My humble opinion is that the three outside references you provided establish reasonable notability. Hope that helps. :) Good luck, Pianotech (talk) 00:35, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, Pianotech :) Okay then, I'll move the article to the mainspace :) Have a good day! Ferryca (talk) 07:01, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

I had a question how to make this notice disappear: "This is not a Wikipedia article:..."? but I just figured it out. Wikipedia has become my favorite puzzle to solve day by day. Thanks! :)) Ferryca (talk) 07:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)